I too am scared of the things I might do when I am manic. You are not alone in this one. I have Bipolar, PTSD and ANXIETY disorders. I get scared that i will hurt someone when I am in my MANIC RAGE, I get extreemly angry to the point of rage when I am manic. I demolish the house ex. I tore the entire bathroom out everything but the toilet encluding the floor. You could see nothing but the floor studs and the ground. Than another time I tore the kitchen cabinets off the wall and put them up on the other wall, I have ripped up the bathroom tile in the guest bath. I have torn the carpet up and the plywood floor in my sons room. That is just a few things I have done. And with my ptsd I have snapped on ppl and assaulted a few that triggered me simply by touching me to get my attention. It is a very scary thing. I often pray that when I leave the house I wont flip out. I have to heve my hsband walk behind me just so I dont get suprised by someone that may be inocently waling up to suprise me. I dont want to start fires but I do threaten to burn the house down and a few times I truely thought about it. I havent hurt any animals but I was very rough with my sons(not to the point of abuse but I did screem and throw things towards them.) I aways missed on purpose, did it just to scare them into doing what ever I was ranting about which looking back was totaly mania.

THAT IS NOT THE PERSON I TRUELY AND AND IS NOT HOW I FEEL ALL THE TIME.
CHRISTOPHER, YOU ARE NOT ALONE BECAUSE I AM RIGHT THERE WITH YOU.
YOUR FRIEND IN ALL OF THIS,
BABE

Thank you so much for getting what I was saying.. It seems like such a bizarre thing to say that I actually felt embarrassed after posting this. It's so nice to know that I'm not alone. Thank you so much, finally someone who can relate.

p.s. I once tore my family's camp trailer completely apart with my bear hands, I scared my sister so bad that she hid from me at every family event.

hi...i worry all the time about things i "might" do...im scared of myself when i'm alone...i'm not allowed to be alone for any amount of time...i hear voices and, well, my profile says just about everything about me...im here for support and to give any advice i can...when im in the right state of mind, i love helping others~i just cant help myself if that makes sense...anyway, thank you for sharing your story!

i thought i was alone in the worries abour what i might do. My biggest fear isnt what i will do to others (even thought i do have some crazy things in my head) its the fear that i will hurt myself. kill myself mostly. and sad that this isnt always a fear. i want to just stop the ups and downs. i wish that none of us had this problem. but i do get it. :( good luck to all

(((((((((((((((Hugs)))))))))))))

We all are looking for peace in our hearts. It has been said that perfect love casts out fear. So if we are here supporting each other, and listening to each others stories, isn't that loving? So If we share and care, the fear may get weaker. It has also said that a black wolf and a white wolf live within us. Native American thing. The one that grows is the one we feed. I like to think the white wolf gets fed here in our room!

chris, i think it shows on your part a lot of courage posting your feelings. maybe if others read it , that might it give them courage to post. i'm glad that you feel comfortable being part of our group! you can post and express your feelings anytime, here we will understand and you don't ever have to feel alone!

Dear Christopher,
Thanks for sharing with us, cause that means a lot to me that you feel safe to post. I am here for you when you need to talk. We have some great chats! Hugz, Brendy aka Chief All Moody Blues