I know exactly what you mean I'm on ssdi and I'm trying to get back to work but I'm very intimidated by the whole process.I've made some really bad choices too I assume from what your saying that you are bipolar and I am too but I do think we can lead normal lives with the right treatment.

I do have BP, and I've been on SSDI for too long. I think that being home has driven me even crazier than working. I think I NEED to work in order to get better. I definitely will be trying to lead a "normal" life, get up, go to work, get home, watch the TV and go to bed. Ya know?

Thanks for replying Christopher.

I have bp and I am on SSDI too. Good to see you HannaHana. Glad you made it over. Hang in there sweetie. I get bored being at home all the time. My boyfriend doesn't think I should work right now but I really would love too.

Thanks Rachyl. I think being home drives me crazier than working would. So I'm going to transition into working again by going to school. Hopefully it works out. I'm not entirely well, but I think/hope that things will look up when I get back into the "normal" swing of things. :)

I have bipolar and I am on disability. But not for bipolar, but for Rheumatoid Arthritis, although I throw bipolar in on my yearly forms so they won't want me back. LOL

RA is killing me. I am just finishing my Master of Divinity, and I have 12 credits left. But I am so fatigued, I don't know if I will make the next 8 months. What really depresses me, is after doing 2 eight hour days, I realize I will never be able to work again.

I guess the goal is to try and find something that fits. For me, that is the internet. But no money there. And getting out of the house is a difficult thing to do - esp. getting in and out of cars.

I think another issue is also the economy - finding a career that is actually hiring, if you are capable of doing the work. But I would not give up. Sounds like you have a tough situation, all those people. I miss my children all the time, but I do agree solitude is welcome a lot of days.

Disability saved my life for a long time or I would have lived in a cardboard box. But after a while, I think it contributed to my depression because I just sat home all of the time disconnected from the world. Going back to work has been good for me but I know everyone is different. It hasn't been easy and this past year my cycling has caused me to miss a good deal of work but my employer still does not know my diagnosis and I like it that way.

Sometimes I think as we learn to live with this disorder we do change and become different people. My ex husband and I are like best friends and he asked me once why things couldn't be like they were. Simple, I am no longer that sick girl that got married. I am changed, some for the better, some for the worse. I think I am still on a search for the real me. But I refuse to be my disorder. I have it, but I won't let it have me. I hope you get things straightened out and start feeling more like you know who you are. I know how frustrating being in that spot can be. Good luck.

Dearest Hanna,

I commend you for keeping up a positive attitude and trying not to fall back into patterns you feel brought you to this point. The reality of the matter however is you have much to overcome regarding your illnesses therefore considering you're functioning at the state you are deserves big applause and back pats. I know a lot of people who are on current roads (suffering with bipolar) and have decided to give up. I'm glad you are fighting for the right to have a full filling life in spite of the disabilities you have to struggle with daily.

I think it's great you want to keep in mind and remember the person you want to be and act according to what she would be proud of. That sounds like a great way to get through a crossroads and overcoming those excuses to be a little selfish. To say "what are the reasons for doing this? Is it helping others or hurting others? Is it going to help me overcome or stay in one place? Is this an opportunity to grow? Is this a chance to challenge and step up?" are all inspirational thoughts that I think we can all learn from.

Thank you for sharing your struggles and more importantly for showing great ways of overcoming them. I think you've found we all need encouragement from time to time, especially when we see our own struggles paralleled to others.

Welcome and stay connected. Appreciate your insight.

((Hugs))