ALL MOODY BLUES Community Group

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Mental Health
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Not sure how I feel today

Imlosingit
Imlosingit

Ever have one of those days when there is no words to describe how your feeling? It’s not mad,glad,or sad. Not lonely, depressed or happy to be alive. It’s Eh... it’s like being in limbo of all of them. All day I’ve been going from one mindless thing to another. Goal of the day was to fully vacuum my living room. My living room is in beyond need of serious cleaning. I have not been well so it’s been a couple months, and I have 3 cats that go in and out via cat door. I have told a couple people that was my plan for today, figuring that would help give me insensitive.  Well guess not. It’s almost 5pm and I haven’t touched a thing. I’m seriously procrastinating!!!  It’s gorgeous outside, and I’m not even going out. I care and I don’t care all at the same time. My husband is being very productive today on the remodeling of our kitchen, as well as having gone out to fill all the bird feeders. My big productivity was heating up leftovers for lunch and filing some paperwork. Been searching online for a new bed, and porcelain figurines. Some FB, but not overly interested in that either.  Maybe my brain is taking a day off whether I want it to or not. 3 week’s ago I spent 6 days in the hospital with perforated diverticulitis. The heavy antibiotics they had me on, made me feel odd for up to a week after I got home. Still not back to normal comfort levels. Hate having to change my diet, and follow up appts that keep getting changed on me. That on top of my other doc follow up appts. I had 9 doc appointments in the past two weeks. Add that to the “mirage” of my basic life, and....? We have, Forest Gumps “I’m really tired, think I’d like to go home now.” Only I am home.    

Community Leaderbobinmaine
bobinmaine
Depression and procrastination are related. You might want to talk to your doctor about how you are feeling. She may prescribe anti depressant medication and/or counseling. Your health issues may also have alot to do with how you are feeling.

I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers

God Bless
Imlosingit
Imlosingit
Thanks bob, have meds, have counseling.
Imlosingit
Imlosingit
There seems to be a problem with the sending. Only one line got sent. I’ll try again in a bit, if all this goes through.
Imlosingit
Imlosingit
Thanks bob, have meds, have counseling.
Imlosingit
Imlosingit
Thanks bob, have meds, have counseling. Health mental and physical issues play a big part, plus struggling roller coaster marriage. Some days are better than others. I’m feeling good that I haven’t set up camp. I read somewhere, “that it’s ok to have a bad day, just don’t set up camp”. I liked that, so I use that analogy to help me with my depression stages. Helps me to be able to visualize where I am mentally. I think today, I’ve found the site, and sitting at the fire I made
in the pit. I didn’t unpacked or setup the tent. Not up for unpacking. Setting up the tent seems to heavy. Have no desire to go sit in the tent with all my stuff, and I definitely do not feel like going in the tent to curled up inside my sleeping bag. So all things considered, I’m doing ok. I realized it’s better for me to take a mental health day, sitting around my “fire pit” than make myself do something I don’t really want to do, and then possibly end up setting up my tent. It’s not the end of the world if the vacuuming doesn’t get done. So I changed over to doing jigsaw puzzles on my iPad, while listening to the “God is in me” playlist on my iPod.
Imlosingit
Imlosingit
Ha, doesn’t like emojis
Community Leaderbobinmaine
bobinmaine
I get like that myself sometimes but it's like you said. Don't set up camp. So I do something else I like doing just so I don't get too bored doing one thing. It makes life interesting that way and I try to find enjoyment in the little things in life, like my garden and my landscaping.. I also meditate alot and that seems to help more then anything.

God Bless
Imlosingit
Imlosingit
Gardening and landscaping are a passion of mine. However due to accidents and surgeries in the past 5 years, I can only do about half of what I used to do. That was hard for me. Still can be when I go out on nice days and see what used to be lush beautiful gardens, are now over grown areas. I have a couple of small ones I can work on. Just not quite the same when you can’t stomp on a spade shovel. I can still weed, and a friend comes to help with the heavier stuff. Not into meditating. Not yet anyway. Having ADD makes it seem oh so boring. I try the guided imaging from time to time. I like doing the jigsaw puzzles at night. I’m still in the process of retraining the brain, and accepting my new limitations. Having to slow everything down, and learning patience with myself has been the biggest challenge.
Community Leaderbobinmaine
bobinmaine
Guided meditations are also very good. I sometimes do those myself. There are many to chose from and I usually just google them online or on you tube.

I am just the opposite. I can't sit and do jig saw puzzles. Before the internet came around, we use to sit around the kitchen table with the family and do those for hours. It was either that or we would play cards. I kinda miss those days because it actually forced us to interact with another. I kinda miss those days in a way...

God Bless
Imlosingit
Imlosingit
I can see that. Not much guality family time since the age of the internet. Games and info galore. Phone calls went to Emailing then turned to texting. Funny how you don’t even notice it much anymore, until the power goes out. Yeah, the sitting around the table playing actual games or puzzles as a family is long gone. When I can, I find weeding therapeutic. Hoping to get more into nature and wildlife photography to see what lies ahead there. I was doing coloring and zen tangle for awhile also.
Community Leaderbobinmaine
bobinmaine
You've got that right.... My niece use to text her dad and he always refused to answer. One day, she asked him why he never responded to her text messages and told her, "If you want to talk to me, call me on the telephone!" I thought that was a great answer!

You must be close to me in age. My ex wife will sit for hours and play those online games. I would be climbing the walls if it were me. I would rather go run a couple of miles just to get outside.
Imlosingit
Imlosingit
I’d rather be outside, gardening, hiking, kayaking, walking (I don’t run), also. However my health conditions have made those things not as kindly to me as they use to. I’m still struggling with totally accepting my new limitations, and having patience with myself. This much slower pace is not all it’s cracked up to be. I sit more doing puzzles etc.. I do them more to quiet my mind. After the brain surgery and my sensory system going haywire, I get overwhelmed easily when there’s a lot going on, and that affects my ability to control my thoughts and emotions. Try to imagine all of your senses being on High all the time, and each one having the same “volume” going into your brain and at the same time. Hearing someone talking, smelling the food cooking on the stove, seeing all the clutter around the room, feeling the cat rub up against my leg, When all this is going on at the same time, my brain wants to pay attention to each one at the same time with equal value. It’s very disruptive when trying to carry on a conversation. I have ADD, so this has been some what of an issue to begin with. Meds helped that a lot, but this full on, all senses, all the time is very draining and exhausting.
Imlosingit
Imlosingit
My life has become a roller coaster of up and downs. And can be from one day to the next. I do get a couple of days in a row of good, but also down ones. Thank God for cats.
Community Leaderbobinmaine
bobinmaine
Oh my! Brain surgery sounds pretty serious. What was it for if you don't mind me asking?
Imlosingit
Imlosingit
A benign menangioma tumor in and around the right cavernous sinus. Found it when it was 1mm from my optic nerve. They went in and took out what they could. There’s no cutting in the cavernous sinus. That’s where the blood vessels and nerves go through to that side of your face. It has already compressed the corodid artery by almost half. They had to do radiation on it end of last year to stop it from growing. What’s left is about the size of a walnut. Indents the pituitary gland so radiation hit that too. Thyroid testing now for the rest of my life. While doing the mapping for the radiation, they found another small tumor in the left frontal lobe area. Size of 2peas. That one isn’t bothering anything. The scariest part for me was the potential of losing my sight in the right eye. Though saggy face didn’t sound that good either. I was grateful not to get either of those. I’m alive and surviving, that’s what counts. It’s different but could have been a lot worse.
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