ALL MOODY BLUES Community Group

This group is for all people, no matter what disease, disorder, or life issue that causes you moody times and needs a little support or wants to give support. Be yourself, have fun meeting new people that care and understand you. RULES- show respect, no extra drama, no bashing, keep personal info confidential , and don't give advice [ if asked ok] . problems or...

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Mental Health
/ ALL MOODY BLUES Support Group

Im back here BUT

SeanPain
SeanPain
Just been busy trying to get my life together but since im starting school and all i find myself slipping back into that horrible state of depression that i was in for so long just because i cant understand EVERYTHING the moment that i read it and that itself triggers memories from school back in the late 90's of how frustrated with school i was and the people's attitude toward me in school was......AAHHHHH im falling all over again and i cant handle it, Im panicing because i feel that i dont have enough time to learn everything when the truth is that i have all the time i need well i have atleast 8 months to finish the course BUT this is my way out of this horrible place that i work at currently and i just want out SO FUCKING BAD that i cant handle my feelings for the people here while im here, I wake up in the morning and am disgusted by the thought of going into work that day and the next and the next. I HATE THIS PLACE SOOOOO MUCH, DAMN IT i feel a panic attack right around the corner and im so scared of those because they get so bad. First i start shaking then sweating heavily and then EVERYTHING around me slows down while it seems to me that i speed WAY UP then after all of that i feel like i cant breath and thats the scariest part of it. I just dont know how the hell to handle this.
inkprincess73
inkprincess73
Panic attacks are scary, overwhelming, frustrating and annoying. Many of us here can relate and empathize. If you need to chat more, I'm not going anywhere. Please feel free to jump back on. Panic, like everything else, will pass. I hope you feel better soon.
Christopher22
Christopher22
I defiantly understand about the panic attacks it's one of if not the biggest issue in my life. I have to carry a bottle of Ativan with me wherever I go, I'm going to see a movie tomorrow and I just hope I'm able to get through it without having another attack.
J0KEYJ
J0KEYJ
Ive only had one panic attack and never want one like it..I know the reason for mine but it came out of nowhere for me it was the fear of the furture..I was scared that they would take me off my drug ..I have to be reviewed to see if I can stay on it.I know Im doing well but I must not think to much ahead just take one thing at a time.concentrate on the amazing thing that Ive got to be in quite a good place..the thoughts of I have no cure what if my drug stops working its not a good idea..
HeatherCliff
HeatherCliff
Dear Sean, I hope you are alright. I am sooooo sorry for the panic attacks you go through! May GOD bless you and keep you!!! Love, HeatherCliff
irishwriter
irishwriter
hi sean, klonopin or xanax are good for panic attacks along with deep breathing exercises. see how you go. i worry about you. if studying gets you to a better place then i hope it is successful for you. hugs
SeanPain
SeanPain
Thx for all the words guys.... Irish studying will get me to a better place job wise as long as i can retain what i have read and can complete my work. Its just been so long since ive been in this state of depression and now that im happy its starts coming back? What is the reasoning behind this? Ehh.....here i go again...questioning god and everything around me. I just wanna get on with my life and live healthy and btw irish i wish they would prescribe me the xanax but they wont and my p doc seems to think that haldol is better because of the anti-phsycotic traits that it shows......but all that does is make me tired .Well atleast i got through 6 pages of my work book in under an hour today right? But as soon as i hit that 7th page i got frustrated as hell because it all started to blur together ( mentally wise ) and i couldnt find anymore answers within the book and then came a little panic and all this while im already studying AT WORK. If there is a god i dont know what his/her plan is for me but i hope it involves something besides panicing and worrying myself to death.
deleted_user
deleted_user
Hi Sean, I think I've talked to you before. You said you dread going to work and that yu have a hard time with studies. I had undiagnosed ADD and school was really hard for me. I'ld have to read the same paragraph MORE than once to retain it, and then it didn't always work, or almost never worked.
As far as you job, May I repeat the great Devine. "Today is the Day that the Lord has made, rejoice and be glad in it!" And use it to your advantage. "One more day puts me closer to where I want to be." Hopefully they go faster for you. Cat
SeanPain
SeanPain
Its hard to rejoice about it when i have desires that can NEVER be filled thx to my back and the fact that this depression is even interfering with my studies now to.
irishwriter
irishwriter
what about klonopin...
as soon as things start to blur take a fifteen min break and go back fresh. don't push yourself too hard. think 'it is great i read seven pages instead of 'i only read seven pages' give yourself credit for everything you do. remember that you have an illness called depression and therefore you will find things more difficult than 'normal' people, not to mention your back problems. i think you are doing really well. keep up the good work. fair play to you to keep going.
SeanPain
SeanPain
Well now because of work calling me in for a 1am-5am shift AFTER i had already worked 10hrs that day which was only 3 hours prior i had to miss my appointment with my pdoc so i could get some sleep for my regular shift that day .....my doc office has cancelled ALL future appointments with my pdoc until i come in for a re exam with a secondary doc to evaluate me again. This is just fuckin great guys now on top of EVERYTHING ELSE i have to worry about doing this to and its beggining to be to much for me again and im feeling like i just wanna quit i mean hell ive already had to quit studying for now because of the depression and mainly work.
J0KEYJ
J0KEYJ
Seanpain biggest hugs we certainly live in a crazyworld..It gets to much I agree..I had a dentist cancel my appointment..I got a letter saying I was not on their books as I hadnt attended my appointment..I then decide Ive had enough of this so I go in and in front of everyone make a point ..I dont have the energy for it as it takes all my time in fighting a battle of a conditon .They make you stressed and then getting tired makes me kick off one grumpy assed fired up teddy is then not a good thing.I have a picture in my hall a friend sent its of a map of where I live with a picture of a woman pulling her hair out which my friend had put an arrow it was me..I did laugh when she gave it me.Dont quit just take a deep breath and go I can do this..
deleted_user
deleted_user
About anger, then. I am a unipolar depressive. After understanding my anger, I had to start all over dealing with what the anger was covering up. You see, it was easier for me to be angry that to be afraid. Yes, anger and fear had a very close working relationship which resulted in the depression I did to myself. The depression was a numbing black shroud that took away the anger and the fear so it could replace both with anxiety. There is a solution. If it worked for me, it might work for you. If you are interested, we could open a dialog. I am a new admin here, and I have some familiarity with hating work and needing to study.

Let's rock it and roll it, then. Your choice, sir. I hope to hear from you for our mutual benefit.
irishwriter
irishwriter
ah sean lots of hugs to you, you seem to have one set back after another, but i know you are strong, you will get through this. it is hard to think when shift work has you doing strange hours. hang in there. thinking of you.take a deep breath.