So just subtract 1 day from the count. You don't have to start over. Best Wishes.

biggest hugs..what set you off on having a drink.Christopher

Dearest Chris,

Keeping a goal of sobriety is a very tough and worthy goal. I for one am super proud of you that you have made it as far as you. One drink may seem like a big deal... a big enough deal to say "in for a penny, in for a pound" however giving yourself excuses didn't get you this far, and you have a far better reason to have stopped drinking in the first place then to give in to this excuse. You have done commendable work, you have made a wise decision to stop... don't give up on those reasons ... don't give up just to give into this excuse. You and only you know the true reasons for stopping... with prayer and with not allowing yourself to give in fully during this or any set back will bring you the pride, the clarity, the ability to follow a life more worthy of you then that of an incoherent, lost, soul.

Step back to give yourself the opportunity to gain perspective on the situation. If you feel voices are echoing excuse after excuse to pick up a drink or judgmental voices telling you how unworthy are to not follow your heart and good intentions, silence them with a prayer. Silence them and meditate back into realizing why you put down the drink 4 years ago.

I pray God will give you the strength to realize your own strength and ability to say "no, not today, Today I choose me".

Big hugs of encouragment to you .my dear friend

Chris, you have so much to be proud of yourself! Do not let one slip up declare who you are. Do not let it take away your accomplishment! Let me give you another thought. Look at it from the other side. I grew up with a dad who drank. Today I call him a drunk. My dad never had a 4 yr sobriety. If he had, and he had relapsed one night but got up the next day and started all over and quit drinking, I would have been emore proud of him than even for the 4 yrs sober cause it takes so much to not give up. All I had was a dad who was physically, emotionally, mental and controlling abusive person. Please, oh please, do not let one night affirm who you are. If you went almost 4 years you have an inner strength that most of us do not have. I don't know you, but I hope that as you think about what you want for you that you think about family too. I wish I could have that pride for my dad. Please hang in there and please do what you know you need to do. I will keep you in my thoughts. I really, really do feel for you!
Sending good thoughts your way
Mary Loou

Dude, 4 years that's amazing!
I made it three years on the no self harm count once and then fell off the wagon. How I picked myself up was saying in my head 'I'll try for 4 years this time.'

You haven't failed. Failing to me would be not trying again. You are so awesome and I'm completely sure you can get back to the 4 years and more...

Janebee, are you totally ignorant? OF COURSE you have to start over. Drinking when you are an alcoholic is a life and death game. You can't just subtract a day, you numskull. It does not work that way. You drink, you start all over again.

Whats the point of sobriety if you can just subtract a day from it? You don't get it because you are a moron

Fyi Rachyla is my Sponcer and is very passionate about my recovery and about AA in general. I make no apology for the things she had to say, She is my friend and I trust her completely. Her knowledge about the program is grounded in truth and that which I lean on. You may not agree with the things that she had to say but she has my best interest at heart.

WHAT STEP WERE YOU WORKING ON WHEN YOU PICKED UP? AS AN AL ANON, I WILL NEVER KNOW WHY ANYONE DRINKS. I ONLY KNOW THAT I HAVE NOT TOUCHED A DROP FOR 13 YEARS, AND HAVE NOT SMOKED IN 13. IF YOU THINK SOME SUPPORT FROM A REFORMED CO WOULD BE OF USE, FEEL FREE. AND YOU HAVE NOT LOST THE FOUR YEARS. YOU JUST NEED TO FIGURE OUT WHAT IT TAKES NOT TO PICK UP TODAY. BECAUSE IF YOU DO NOT PICK UP TODAY, YOU WILL NOT EVER PICK UP. IT IS ALWAYS TODAY. YOU CAN SEE FOR YOURSELF. NOBODY EVER DRINKS OR USES YESTERDAY OR TOMORROW. GET THAT?

Oh how I hate to hear that you want to use that one relapse in such a big accomplishment! Let me tell you how it feels for a loved one on the other side. My Dad was an alcholic. We never had that 4 years without the alcholol. All we got drinking Dad. I call him a drunk. We got the physical, controlling, and mental dad. That is what I get to remember about my dad. Please think about your family, even if it is just one person. Your drinking does not affect only you. If my Dad had a 4 yr sobriety I would have been so proud of him if he just got backon the wagon the next day. Do not let this one night be who you think you are. I do not drink much because of my dad, but my girls almost did an intervention on me because of the pain pills I was taking. An addiction is an addiction.

hi christopher...my hubby has 28yrs he suggests you get to a meeting hun....im sorry you relapsed, what was your trigger? so you can avoid it in the future...im so proud of your for making it to almost 4 years, that was a wonderful feat...my addiction is Self Harm, i relapse often and i barely make it past 2-3 days ..i gave in to my urges yesterday...trying to quit, for me, is like a pipe dream...part of me wants to quit other parts dont want to...so im torn between my addiction..its not easy.

Hi Christopher... I have been lucky enough to put together a few days back to back. In that time I have lost friends to the bottle and drugs. Some make it back others get lost in the guilt and shame. In the time I have sober I know "I have only today" regardless of my date of sobriety. The doors are always open to you when you are ready. Early in my sobriety my EGO got the best of me and my relapse took 3 years of my life. I can only hope the seduction of the bottle is not stronger that the life you have enjoyed the last 4 years.

Keeping you in my thoughts + prayers dear friend.

hey christopher, stop beating yourself up, alcoholism is a tough disease to deal with. you had a momentary relapse, if it was any other disease you wouldn't give yourself such a hard time. remember this too will pass, i hope you have gotten through the last couple of days. let your higher power guide you. it has served you well for four years on relapse is not going to ever change that. look at all the positive energy that is being sent to you. go to a meeting that works for you. if the first one doesn't then go to another one. you know the drill. you are a valued and valuable person. be good to yourself. be kind to yourself, you deserve it.

my pdoc would say 'what would you say to someone else who came to you for advice with the same problem' you lost a moment, that's all, a moment. does not negate a mammoth four year achievement. i was married to an alcoholic. have been in al anon. don't give up.