Honestly im kind of on the wall as to if this stuff is heridatary or not but im lead to believe that they are because my entire family has a bad history with OCD/Depression/anger/anxiety etc etc and i see ALOT of similarities of my mothers behavior in my own

Yup , I inherited and passed it on. I think we talk more openly about things these days. Which helps us spot it earlier and are more open to except things a they are. I started out very shy in school and now as an adult full of anxiety.

My son is 9 all so. His ocd would of been brushed off as maybe a neat freak or a great organizer when I was a kid.

Nature vs Nature...the age old question :)

I don't think we will ever know for sure...I mean we can maybe know with some things that have chemical or genetic basis, but, when it comes to a personality trait, it's really hard to tell.

Bahama Sun, In your case I'm not so sure it's even that important...how you are handling it is what's important, and it sounds like you are doing great...you enrolled her in a group activity that allows her to be around other kids, that includes physical activity (that's going to help her physically work out any anxieties, plus release endorphins), and a good instructor will provide positive reinforcement, which at her age should boost her up. So, way to go!

The only other thing I can think of at home that you can do is to say things to her like "Wow, I really like how you like your work to be perfect, but we still have to practice on assignments from the teacher in order to get as close to perfect as possible"

Or, even bonding type statements like "You know what, when I was a kid I was just like you when it came to my home work...you know what they call people like us? Perfectionists! But, it's important to know that we can't be perfect all the time, so we do our very best. Why don't you do your best on that assignment, and then you and I can go for a walk (play a game, watch a movie, etc...)

I think you are doing great so far...it's tough being a parent. Keep fighting the good fight! Poor Nine year old with that kind of stress...that is just wrong!

Sorry for the double post...I just wanted to address one issue at a time...

In the case that Sean mentioned, yes I believe very much that mental health issues, addiction can be passed down...we haven't found a genetic component yet, but many believe there is...Still it's quite possible we simply learn ineffective coping skills from ineffective parents.

I hope very much that there is no genetic component.

I was severely abused as a child, and have been working extremely hard in therapy for 17 years and will probably be in therapy for life, even if it's just maintenance treatment...I would hate to think that genetically I am doomed to harm children the way I was despite the treatment I chose to learn how not to be my family...

Again...nature vs nurture...not sure we will ever know for sure!

there is a genetic component to illnesses/diseases eg bipolar not behaviours like abuse. i have bipolar disorder because i am genetically disposed to it but i did not abuse my children even though i was abused myself. i succeeded in breaking the pattern. education is the key to stopping abuse and suchlike behaviours. however we cannot help being genetically disposed to an illness, that cannot be unlearned.

you're doing great with your daughter. judo is a great idea. give her lots of encouragement and let her know that she does not have to be perfect. i don't know if there is a need for counselling yet. she's only nine years old. there's no point in creating a problem where there is none. trust your instincts and monitor the situation. you sound like you have a good relationship and you'll know if she becomes unhappy. keep the lines of communication open and you cannot go wrong. hugs to you.

For me, I have a lot of the same problems as my biological mother and father. Not every child will inherent everything from their parents but it is possible I think to be able to develop anxiety, ocd, etc. from family members. For me I started out having OCD at a very young age and then depression and then anxiety etc. I think it all depends on the person.

Thank you for all your comments and encouragement. We are just trying to take it one day at a time. I think kids are under way too much pressure to succeed at such an early age. You just have to watch the commercials for computer learning websites. If you couple that pressure with anxious tendencies, you could have a disaster.

I really believe there were kids in my age group that suffered from mental illnesses as kids, but were either never diagnosed, or diagnosed in adulthood. In my case, it was diagnosed in adulthood, Even then, I had a hard time getting a proper diagnosis. I had panic attacks in doctor's offices and in hospital ERs, and those doctors could not recognize it as panic and anxiety.