Alcoholism is a disease that is much to big for you to fight by yourself.You're right about one thing you're going to need a plan.I suggest that you start with a rehab followed by joining Alcoholics Anonymous meetings. You;ve been drinking for 20 years stopping is going to need some action on your part.I know its hard to believe but alcoholism has been ruling the way you think act and live your life. You'll need to change a lot of things and are going to need a support mechanism. AA worked for me but first things first lets get you detoxed.
Greg

Yes I tried to make a plan and read post and do my tools minutes before leaving. Still picked up a beer anyway.
I think I knew that would happen. I knew it for months.

Great example of the mental obsession that plagues every alcoholic I have ever known. That is why we need a power greater than ourselves to remove that obsession. AA helps us find that Higher Power.

This is a new day, a new week. Looking forward to hearing your success story as you begin a life without alcohol. Take one hour at a time - set up a support system and maybe a therapist in the beginning.

Take good care.

Hello Magpie2,

Its hard work only if you fight it.

If you get a programme that works and follow the suggestions you will lose the urge to drink. For me, it was the Twelve Steps of Alcoholics Anonymous but any programme that works is better than a constant fight against alcoholism.

Working "smarter" is better than working "harder"

I quit without a program and do not have cravings or urges to drink. That said, if you have been doing this on your own and have not been able to stay sober, you might want to look at additional support. The last thing I would want to do is quit and then drink every few weeks. You don't want to start a new pattern.

Magpie, I never got it "out of my system...."

I would say that I never felt like I reached that pinnacle drunk and then I was ready to move on. I always would look back-after a few weeks of abstinence and say "well, heck, that was not exactly what I had in mind as my 'final" drunk....I forgot about wanting to make some mixed drink conconcotion for my final horraah..."

My point is, it is never going to be "enough" for most alchoholics. Something more needs to be decided in your mind-atleast it did for me. I had to realize that I was never going to be "done." And with that make the decision on what to do with these never ending (seemingly) impulses.

I think your right Jersey. The same thought crossed my mind. Don't want to start a pattern of drinking every few weeks. This is really hard. For many reasons.
But Greg you kinda jumped to detox fast & rehab. I didn't say I went on a bender. I don't have anything in my system to detox from. Nothing some h20 and a good run won't solve anyway.
Support I do need. Mostly from my husband who doesn't seem to think I have a problem. He must be in love cuz love is blind.
Working smarter that's always been my motto. So why can't I apply that here?

Magpie - post #8. It's called Bout Drinking and it's a common pattern that develops for the person who really wants to stop but really can't on their own. Drinking in bouts until the body or mind really can't take it anymore, usually ending in hospital. Pyschiatric or detox. Weeks or months off while you recuperate long enough to have another go.

It can go on for 20 years as your body disintegrates, or end in months when you choke on your vomit. I think you're right, you really don't want to go there :o(

If alcoholism was about not thinking smart enough, I wouldn't be here. Don't you know who I am? :o)