Alcoholism Support Group
Alcoholism is the continued consumption of alcoholic beverages, even when it is negatively affecting your health, work, relationships and life. If you think alcohol is causing you to lose control, it's time to seek help. Our group is a safe place to vent, check in, get back up if you fall, and reach sobriety.
If we put the same effort into getting and staying sober as we do to many other things in our lives, sobriety would not be "so difficult".
I remember a job I took by choice 5 years ago full well knowing what it entailed. It required that I work non-stop 14-18 hours per day for a year and face my biggest fears. It was absolutely the most painful and grueling thing I have ever had to do.
It's hard to get off my ass and go to meetings some days. I would often rather just rest and relax and have fun.
I am driven to succeed at both my career and sobriety.
With my job I was held accountable by the fear of impending consequences (failure, loss of income, loss of pride) that far outweighed instant gratification (rest, relaxation, and recreation).
With sobriety, I am held accountable by the fear of impending consequences (sickness, death, and unmanageability) that outweigh the need for instant gratification (rest, relaxation, and recreation).
Why is it so hard to GET and why is it so "hard" to do the work?
I believe it is because we seek to understand something that we cannot. If we wait to understand it, we won't get it. Those who are fortunate enough to survive and come back from a "rock bottom" KNOW the impending consequences of their continuing to drink, and that fear outweighs the need for the instant gratification. Those without a rock bottom have to come to terms with the fact that they aren't going to "get" anything without a lot of hard work.
I am just starting to get it.
I remember a job I took by choice 5 years ago full well knowing what it entailed. It required that I work non-stop 14-18 hours per day for a year and face my biggest fears. It was absolutely the most painful and grueling thing I have ever had to do.
It's hard to get off my ass and go to meetings some days. I would often rather just rest and relax and have fun.
I am driven to succeed at both my career and sobriety.
With my job I was held accountable by the fear of impending consequences (failure, loss of income, loss of pride) that far outweighed instant gratification (rest, relaxation, and recreation).
With sobriety, I am held accountable by the fear of impending consequences (sickness, death, and unmanageability) that outweigh the need for instant gratification (rest, relaxation, and recreation).
Why is it so hard to GET and why is it so "hard" to do the work?
I believe it is because we seek to understand something that we cannot. If we wait to understand it, we won't get it. Those who are fortunate enough to survive and come back from a "rock bottom" KNOW the impending consequences of their continuing to drink, and that fear outweighs the need for the instant gratification. Those without a rock bottom have to come to terms with the fact that they aren't going to "get" anything without a lot of hard work.
I am just starting to get it.
I found that it was all well worth it though. After putting together enough 24 hours to equate to years, the more years I put together the better it actually got.
I was told more than once that if I put as much effort into my sobriety as I did in my drinking I would be amazed at the outcome.
Just as my Alcoholism was progressive and got worse and worse. My Sobriety has been proggresive too, only it has gotten better and better.
Don't drink, trust your higher power and listen to others with quality sobriety. It is worth the journey.
God Bless, Mike
This is a good post.
Thanks,
Darrell
I think what you said about if you wait to understand it before seeking it, it's too late is 100% true...at least for me anyways.
I did not understand much of anything (and still don't!) but things slowly started to make a little more sense the more I learned.
It's those "aha!" moments and they're awesome!!
I didn't give a rats ass about the AA Traditions (and still don't...sorry) when I first got sober and I think that's why it irritates me so when folks have heated debates about them on this particular forum.
Most who come here don't understand any of that stuff...I sure didn't, I just needed help learning how to learn ya know?
Wanting to work for it was most definitely the key.....I think those that don't have to have concrete explanations for everything in life and that can accept that "it is what it is", have a much better chance of recovery. Give in, don't give up. Take a leap of faith, sometimes it's necessary to venture into the unknown.
Change is hard but it is 100% necessary in recovery I think!
I like you totally believe if you don't hit rock bottom & have that moment of clarity that " I just cant do this any more" & Surrender, recovery probably will not happen. Just my exp.
The answer is simple, the work is hard. But the further away from my last drink I get, the more it occurs to me what I was doing to myself, and how much I don't ever want to go back there. I can only stay sober today, and I don't yet have enough 24 hours to even call a year, but I am proud of and grateful for my sobriety.
Hugs and peace,
Karen
On the side a note to Coogee and CD. I agree about getting sober as a preteen. At 12 the emotional and spiritual impact was probably not as great thus the inability to REALLY connect with the 12 Step program. Many who have stepped away from the meetings do so because they never got the true purpose of the Steps. Those who step away IMO have become so wrapped up in self and image. They can't see why someone like me for instance, who got clean and sober at age 37 and has achieved the 19+ year mark, would even WANT to go to a meeting.
It's because...
It would be SELFISH of me to walk away from what was freely given to me. Selfish to not be there when that someone walks in with no clue. Selfish to the extreme in not being there when someone might benefit from my ESH. Of course at age 12 there isn't much experience to share lol.
The bottom line to the12 Step program is not about staying sober. It's about carrying the message. We stay sober just like we gain the promises. AS A RESULT OF WORKING THE STEPS.
" Those without a rock bottom have to come to terms with the fact that they aren't going to "get" anything without a lot of hard work. "
I agree with you. I didn't explain very well in my post, but I didn't have a rock bottom as others might see it necessary. I was spiritually and emotionally defunct. My life was unmanageable to me even if not to the point of losing much materially. Not hitting the point of absolute desperation that others describe just meant to me that I had to work harder even at times I didn't feel the deep WANT. Had I waited to drop to a rock bottom, I really think I'd be dead.
WeAreWomen... You kinda missed the point. If you want to rant about your resentment toward AA, why not give it a separate thread?
I am glad there are people like you who don't go to meetings.
How about not hijacking threads to promote your own agenda?
So glad you shared it with everyone!
xoxo
~Chris
Howto- I think we tend to sometimes over complicate this and the whole getting "it" thing. It's really pretty simple. If alcohol causes problems in your life stop drinking and your life will improve. Really is that simple. I didn't say it was easy though and like anything in life which is worthwhile, it takes hard work.
did you notice how the author side stepped the answer to why folks still go to meetings? Not only that but attempted to deflect their own dishonesty. Their decietful presentation to our little family. Maybe if they had continued to attend meetings this glaringly apparent defect in character could have been addressed. It's highly likely they could have a bit more joy in their life and not feel the need to make others miserable so they can feel powerful. Glad your here HCL.