I was very lonely when I was drinking. Alcoholism does that, it disconnects us from other people. I could be lonely even when there were people around me because I couldnt be connected.

I have no experience of marriage and so cant comment on that but i would say that things would probably look and feel very different if you were sober.

Do you want to stop drinking?

In the parking lot of my very first AA meeting a beautiful young gal came up to me and said "come back again". God really knew how to get my attention right from the get-go lol! My early criteria for a "good meeting" was "ample members of the opposite sex". And I was married with two beautiful children.

Back then I was simply looking for a replacement for the alcohol I had just quit. Because of the absence of Alcohol (AOA), I suffered an empty hole in my chest. I kept filling it with sex, things, sports activities, even AA meetings - stuffing anything and everything in there but the actual 12 steps of AA...that is until I eventually formed my first partnership with another human being and I got my AA sponsor. Once I started working those steps at his suggestion, the empty hole was no more. I was amazed before I was half-way through. I became accepting of myself and my surroundings. I could sit somewhere and actually feel happy... in my heart... entirely sober. The craving to drink had completely left. Now I don't have to drink to entertain myself. I'm free.

Life without the pain of Alcohol is completely do-able for anyone with the willingness to try it out.

Many of us felt the very same way as you do. I was lonely too. I felt I didn't fit in with the whole world. I was the proverbial square peg. I was lonely in a room full of people. So I drank. But that's no reason to drink. And I knew that. I drank because i was an alcoholic.

I drank because I craved the stuff. I drank because I couldn't function in "normal" society. I drank because I'd panic in social settings. I drank because yadayadayada.

The minute I walked into AA, they started telling me MY STORY. How did THEY know??? How on earth did THEY know what I did, how I felt, etc. Because they had been there too. I felt at home. For the first time in my life, I felt comfortable in a room full of people.

That was almost 18 years ago -- and I haven't had a drink since. they saved my life - because I was dying. YOU are dying too. You didn't know that did you?? YOU WILL DIE an alcoholic if you do not stop. Do you really want to go like that??? It ain't pretty.

Please - get the help you DESERVE. Hugs, Lee

Being lonely within a marriage is a very sad place to be. I think you should think about you and your husband going for marriage counseling. You would not believe the difference it can make!!!! You have to have a good therapist though!!! One whom you 'click' with!
If your husband won't go, I would still recommend that you go on your own. I think you can get to a much happier, more satisfying place!!!! It's a much better choice than drinking!!!
Good luck!!! I'm sorry that you're lonely. (((((Hugs)))))