What I have learned is that there are always underlying issues that trigger our drinking. I wanted to numb myself from feeling the emotional pain of having a job I didn't like and having a marriage that was headed for divorce.

To better understand how triggers work, You can read this post from a few weeks ago:.

https://www.dailystrength.org/group/alcoholism/discussion/factors-associated-with-relapse

Your anxiety could be a trigger.

God Bless

Bobinmaine,
Thank you so much for your post and I just finished reading the previous post you referenced. I know that I should not drink and having a problem with anxiety and a family history of alcoholism from my dad and his side of the family.

My loving family is in support of me and I am sure they think that I should not drink. I think I should not drink as well but.......... I continue to drink sometimes. I work and have a stressful job. On my day off, I get up and feel like I have a ton to do and feel "stuck" not knowing where to start. This is sort of a new thing to me. It's strange because I pour the drink then actually feel better when I pour it out.

Again, thank you for your support !!! So helpful to not feel alone.

If you are a prayer person, I would ask for prayer for me to stop drinking altogether!

God bless !!

My feeling is that just the desire to talk to God is like a prayer in itself.
I always think of it like a computer, where prayer, or asking for something is the uplink, and meditation, or waiting for an answer, is the download, so I find that meditation works in conjunction with prayer. How does God talk to me, you might be asking? usually through other people like my AA sponsor for example. I remember the wisdom he shared with me always's seemed like it could only have come from my Higher Power because it was always an answer to a question that had been floating around in my head. There are other ways also.

Let me say also, that one of the first things I did when I left outpatient treatment was quit my job. It was loaded with triggers and I knew I could never stay sober while working there .but I had someone looking out for me and I got a better job that I really liked alot. I remember my AA sponser telling me good things happen to those who quit drinking and he would point out to me all of the Blessings going on in my life at the time, and he was always right! My relationships improved, I got a great job, and I had money coming in from places I never expected. It was the AA Promises being fulfilled in my life. God was doing for me, what I could not do for myself and all I had to do was stay sober!

Good luck on your road to recovery and may you find some peace and happiness along the way.

God Bless.

G'day mate.
I've learned in 9weeks of sobriety that our reasons for drinking are many and our reasons for quiting only matter if they out number or out weigh the pros.
I'm grateful for wisdom from contributors of all creeds races and types. Prayers and gods and gurus take many guises. I miss getting wasted drunk. I've begun to figure out why. Please search deep into your past, see the patterns, find the common traits that link them and reduce them to subsets, keep boiling down. Don't look up, bore down. What scares you? What makes you cry etc. I've realised (for me) so much about drinking is avoidance of truth.
If you draw strength from God, or Tony Robins, it's ok, because most of them have one message in common.
"Love thy self!"
Perhaps you grieve.
Missed opportunities, wrong turns,lost loves, lost arguments, etc etc. Alcoholism may be a symptom of hating yourself. Avoid this popular thought,; Achievements deserve reward, thus failure deserves punishment.
Nowadays I'm feeling as if I'm still learning to change, and so will you, but letting go of the past takes work. If you want strongly to be better then keep searching, keep finding ways to let go and love yourself. Give yourself purpose. I hope you are having fun somehow too by the way. I forgot to mention that loneliness will not help. Please talk to everyone!

Cheers bro!

Science, philosophy and religion have wrestled with why we drink. AA realized that was a quagmire and focused on how not to drink. Anxiety may be a factor and I'm sure you realize that your drinking pattern is dangerous. I'd recommend worrying less about why ( not wondering at all i have found pointless) and more about how not to. I'd suggest AA or a counselor.
I have been sober for many 24 hours but lately I've had an occasional urge . I know those urges are related to stress in my life ( different stress than usual ) but that knowledge doesn't keep me from picking up , the things I've learned about how not to drink via AA and counseling do that. Best of luck.

people have so many reasons it's hard to figure out the only thing I know about myself and how I understand things is association and habit once we allow these things to build up it becomes an automatic response.
like I have a hard day my brain is like "have a drink to relax"
the house is empty or day off "It's me time lets drink"
I don't feel okay or I'm stressed "a drink would help"
I won!! "celebrate with a drink"
I have a hangover now "cure it with a drink"
it seems after a while I never had anything that didn't come back to that but I don't know why I do and others don't maybe it's a personality or when and who I learned that from since I was young but I may have done it anyway, I could drive myself mad if I tried to figure it out but instead I will just take these reactions and do something else until I have new ones. I find myself wanting tea and a biscuit when I have a hard day like now or having movie night when the house is mine and looking forward to it.
I happy your family support you and hope you find something to fill up that time when your home alone. a counsellor would help.

Simple. I like the way it makes me feel. Problem is that I keep having to drink more and more to get the same effect. I’m alcoholic. Today I just focus on the good sober me. Drinking will solve nothing and actually make things worse.
1is2many

Dear friend,
If you want to know the real reasons you keep drinking, (and for all addictions) just the primordial physiological reasons behind it, and away from all myths and mystics, I would recommend the book “In the realm of hungry ghosts” by Gabor Mate. It is scientifically sound, with references. At least read the first half of it where he gives you your long sought explanation.
I am also beginning to do more meditation, as it proved very beneficial. Also digging deeper into buddhism, again trying to stay with its basic principles away from the mystics sometimes it carries.
Best wishes!

gidday alcoholics drink because they are alcoholics,all this bullshit about triggers, i drink no matter what, i am a skid row drunk, and alkiers delude themselves that they can control the drink,most alkies die because they can not get honest with them selves,they have lost the power off choice, and only a spiritual experience as the result off going to a recovery aa based group, that work only with the big book, get a sponcer,home group,work the steps, go to meetings,help another alkie,and ure life will change,ive been clean,and sober,over 10 years and this life i have is awesome i thank god for daily may god bless u,to get well u take action get off ure arse and u will get well odaat.

Wrestling with alcoholism is indeed frustrating, a vicious cycle of indulgence and regret. However, if we're able to break this routine and begin leading a sober life combined with the recovery work necessary to expose the root cause(s) of our drinking, anxiety and other personal issues are so much easily dealt with. Finding local support, whether AA, private counseling or a rehab program, are most helpful in achieving this goal. But it all begins with a decision. Some only make this decision when they're forced to by either arrest, divorce, health, job loss or other crisis that results from their alcohol addiction. I sincerely hope you don't wait until one of these events to begin your new life. Wishing you the best and please keep us posted!

Our brains are addicted to alcohol, and we're stuck with that brain so we just gotta deal. I hate it when I'm going into a lovely weekend, and I still have to try to have control over my brain even though my brain has control over me so it's a stupid cycle that I just need to accept. I've learned that giving in, and drinking, doesn't make my stupid brain happy either. I have been in the "Fake It Till You Make It" stage. and it works, but it's exhausting. I'll probably always be in this predicament which bums me out sometimes if I think about it.