What do you mean by getting him help? Are you looking into a rehab? If so rehabs generally tackle both. They have in-home breathilizers (spelling-?) now, but I don't know how accessible they are (saw it on the Ozbournes). I think trusting your parental instincts, watching how he walks and talks, looking him in the eye will suffice for proof. Please don't think that alcohol is a better addiction than drugs, that's a very dangerous thought. Good luck getting him help quickly.

I don't think alcohol is better than drugs. I guess it's just that I'm more familiar with it. In fact, in some ways the drinking is scarier because of the testing factor. We can't get him help until the courts step in. He's had a few arrests......

I hate to tell you this but alcohol is a drug, so its the same for both and yes they have a test for alcoholism you can get one at an aa meeting. take care.By the way you cant stop an alcoholic or drug addict until there ready so good luck to you, you may want to go to alanon cause actually you can make things worse if you dont know what your doing. take care.

But he just turned 16. He's just a boy. I don't understand why the police or somebody can't intervene now. Why do we have to wait for the courts to help us. Day by day it's getting harder and harder. He is so out of control........

I also have a 16 year old son. Unfortunately unless he is "Caught" with alcohol the police can do absolutely nothing. The sad part is usually the only time the Police get involved is when the child has commited a crime. My son learned the hard way he made a bad choice, did some jail time and was fortuante enough to get hooked up with a couselor that offer Drug and alcohol counseling. I am a youth counselor as well as a DV counselor. I would suggest that you find a counselor BEFORE your son gets himself into trouble. Trust me it will happen. I have worked for an "at risk youth shelter" and see kids as young as 11 in treatment for heroin. The parents usually have no idea and assume its alcohol. Other drugs usually follow. Look in your local yellow pages or if your state has a community information line that can be helpful as well. good luck to you and God Bless.

First, I would stay up ALL night if it meant making sure he gets home safely. Is he driving now? Is he Drinking and Driving? If he does come home intoxicated, don't bother trying to talk to him. He is drunk at that point and drunks rationalize. Wait till the next day. I would have a couple of asprin and a glass of water ready at the kitchen table. (;

I was about that age when my mom got ahold of a friend to help with me. That was my very first AA meeting. I thought I was too young to stop drinking. We are never to young!!!

It took me till the age of 29 when I finally "hit bottom" and checked into rehab. What a was of my teenage years and my 20's! what a waste...

Do everything you can do to help him. I wouldn't approach him like my mom did me tho...she was rough and tough. I needed love and understanding.

Do all you can do to learn about alcoholism. Then you can approach him with solid evedence of the distruction it can cause.

If you think he would join here, or just read, get him here. We/I would talk with him if you like...Cause ya know...We've been there, done that! He may feel better to talk with a guy from here. He may do it just because he feels safe with a computer, rather than face to face at first. He might come here and feel like he belongs, because we can all connect with him if he truly has a problem.

I meant on my first paragraph, ...drunks DON'T rationalize...oops. (;

I disagree with karen, sorry karen. I think he needs a serious intervention and not a visit to this site where his mom posts. People come to this site who want help, not those who are forced and not ready. Rehab is good for people who aren't ready because they're forced to see the grim reality and often become ready. Good Luck mom.

He's gotten himself into trouble -- three charges against him. It is just taking WAY too long! We have a drug counselor that I've been in touch with for about a month. I've been working with the juvenile detective trying to get my son into drug court. I even called the coordinator at drug court trying to get this moving. My husband and I even met with our county drug counselor to get him to help us.

My son had a hair sample drug test in the middle of all this and it came up negative --even though his urine sample showed positive! We were all shocked that it showed negative since his instant messages we've been tracking tell us differently. I know his choice of drug has been alcohol most recently because it doesn't cost anything (manages to steal it) and he doesn't think he can be tested for it. The drug counselor told me awhile back that there is a new test for it.

It's all a matter of time but while we wait .... we worry. We had to call the police again last night because he didn't come home at even the city curfew. I stayed up (on and off until 5 AM) only to discover he came home after 6. There is no screaming by us or yelling because it won't help. School starts tomorrow and I wish we would have had some help by now. I can't see him functioning in school. This whole thing is just so exhausting......

Ktharp423, Baby steps is what I think a young person may! need.

I was "FORCED" into AA when I was his age, and it didn't do a damn thing for me. It made me run like hell! Maybe if "I" had an understanding, by my side mom, who was interested in me!, I would have had a better chance at sobriety at such a young age. She was more interested in, "Look at me, look what I am making my kid do, I am in control" That's what she was all about! and still is to this day!

Drag my ass into AA at 16, and see me run like hell and go drink it away! I thought I was too young. I was "surrounded" by old people, big people, rough and tough people, smile so big and pretty people. I didn't want that. I was scared to death of them all!

Like I was telling "mom of 3", if I had the oppertunity to have had a computer in front of me, some space between me and all those scary people, I might have had a better chance!

But, that was me and my life...staying out partying with me buddies until the sun came up, till I was 29!!!

K, my thoughts may be wrong, but I don't know...

Also, this isn't just about "mom of 3". If her son comes here or somewhere else, then she may just step aside for her son to be here and not worry about what she is came here to do for him.

He probably will end up in rehab..inpatient. I don't know how successful it will be but we can't sit back and do nothing....

It sounds like your son may need some "toughlove" like my parents did with me. If he's 16 he should have a curfew,right?If he stays out past his curfew you could ground him for a week.That would take away the opportunity for drinking.

one more thought...

Hell, why do you think there are so many of us here. We don't want to deal with that big scary world! So many of us here have brought up the discussion of not wanting to go to AA or should we go to AA. Even if we end up there in the end, this is a good place to come and get up the courage, the "Daily Strenght" we need!

at the age if 16 he is rebellious as hell right now. hopefully the judge will place him in rehab but if that dont work he will end up some where else eventually. i am speaking from my own experiance here. someone else suggested 'tough love" that is exactly what he needs right now. if you dont show him his actions are not tolerated then it WILL continue. and i dont mean saying " you are a bad boy, grounded for a week" either. really clamp down on him. his future looks very bleak at this point if he continues, jails, institutions, prison. maybe even death. good luck to the both of you.

We can't ground him. He's extremely defiant. He doesn't listen. I know we failed him miserably --otherwise....we wouldn't be where we are now. But we can't do back but move forward. He may have another charge against him anyway. Yesterday his cell phone was by beer that was found at a park. The police didn't charge him with anything then but might now.....This will be his 4th charge this summer. Everything happened this past year. He was well behaved before.