I don't use years as my goal. It is "I will not drink no matter what...". I think that I am approaching 4 years sometime around Thanksgiving Holiday, but my sobriety date is insignificant.

Happiness is not a permanent thing. There is bound to be suffering in life. I found that ,if I grasp on to the happiness, when it fades, I will suffer more. I accept it as it comes, the good times and the rough times. If I want to make the rough times worse I could accomplish that by drinking. That is pretty stupid thinking. I know because I did that after 24 year of sobriety. I don't need to run away from my problems I need to face them.

Hello dipso,

Your approach is interesting and has served you well up until now so maybe you just need to make small changes and add another dimension.

The only target that I set myself where alcohol is concerned is not to drink today. Everyone is different but I know that if I set long term targets I would find it very challenging. That said, I have not had a drink or felt like drinking for over six years now. Rather than set targets I found it necessary to change my way of thinking and dealing with life so that alcohol was no longer in the equation.

The journey to sobriety is one of change and the thing about change is that it does not sit still in the same place. Therefore, if you are not moving forward and changing in a positive way you will inevitably fall back into negative ways. One of the advantages of the AA approach is that there is encouragement to grow spiritually and that is done by trying to live by the suggested principles. AA does not have a monopoly on spirituality of course any more than it has a monopoly on sobriety so there are plenty of other ways that you can enhance your spiritual life. It can be through religion if you have religious beliefs and it can be through other methods if you do not believe in religion. Whichever way that you do it, spirituality probably boils down to trying to do the right things in life.

Therefore, my suggestion to you is forget about the targets and to work on developing your mind and your life through some method that works for you. For me it has been the Twelve Steps of Alcoholics Anonymous.

Whatever it is you are going through, chances are one of us has already experienced it. Talk about it here or with someone you can trust if it's personal. Don't keep it inside where it can cause far worse problems down the road!

It sounds like you need support very bad right now. We will keep you in our thoughts and prayers.

Worry about staying sober today only and do this every day!

God Bless!

Welcome back, Dipso!

Don't drink. Think of the horrible consequences and how you will feel. The impulsive feeling is only fleeting. Keep busy!

Hugs, CC

Very cool that you've reached a 5 mile mark!

I like the advice that's been offered. My take on all this is that you're looking for change. Goals and targets to help you through difficult transitions are excellent devices to carry on, but they don't, in and of themselves, represent change.

I's say quit your job, and sail to Tahiti, or do something drastic.

Or NOT. You are at the mercy of your mind, but fortunately, you have great control of your mind. And lucky you! You have 5 years of good stuff under your belt as you ponder this difficult step.

:)

I hit the 5 year mark next month. I've been looking forward to it. I set 5 years as a point where I can let go of any residual doubts I might have lurking in my head about whether I will stay sober. It feels like freedom.

When I first set my first goal around quitting drinking, it was pretty straightforward. Make it through a single day without drinking. But for me it is not about one day at a time. After I realized I actually could stop, my goal became to stop for good. To become a non drinker so that it is a non issue.

I don't know what I can say to help you shift your point of view. 5 years is an awesome accomplishment. But the real joy comes from knowing that you refused to drink -- NO MATTER WHAT -- and that is who you are now.

You are sober, and that is a great thing. Relax, enjoy, and stay with it.

Thank you all. I've had different types of advice here and will take bits out that I that will find useful. And spend today when I am child free giving serious thought to how do I move on. My main thing is I can't and won't because my rock bottom was horrendous and If I drink I go automatic to black out and have no control over my behaviour. I got sober to have children and I know if I drank I'd lose them. My support group the kinda ringleader had 5 yr as his marker, I looked up to him and he's passed the marker. But I'm kinda stuck. Plus I still have the traumatic stuff going on. But if I drink, problems are still there tomorrow. I stayed strong as this trauma was going on and I thought it was over but it continues. Aa I've tried but don't feel it was for me. But I think today I will go back to the blackboard and come up with new healthy plan. Thank you everyone.