I haven't talked to anyone about my backslide. I find it difficult to be the focus of the conversation. My husband has been out of town and I am still considering whether or not to tell him when he gets home. I just don't like letting people down. What I did find was that my close friends were very supportive when I stopped 9 months ago. You will tell others when you're ready.

I told my immediate family and in laws. That's about it. Of course my wife knew but the in laws were actually surprised.

I think that as an alcoholic I w as ashamed at first but now I realize it's just a condition and I'm so happier sober that it's a mute point.

Get you some sober !!!

And the minute you stop the lying is when you will get closer to recovery.

1is2

You'll find that many of your friends probably notice the difference. Tis a good way to form a F2F support group (which we all need) by selectively letting close friends know what you are doing...

Hugs,
Dennis

Whether you tell or not is entirely up to you. Nobody has to know but if you tell others who have been through, what you are going through, they can offer you the support you need to get you off the slippery slope you are on.

I found that support at AA where I got a sponser who guided me through those precarious early days and guided me through the 12 steps, bringing me closer to the spiritual side of me which somehow filled that void in me which I had been trying to fill with alcohol and drugs during the previous years.

That was 6 years ago. I still attend occasional meetings, just to pay forward what was given to me, and I have never been happier!

God Bless!

For me, hopefulsarah, I didn't tell people because I didn't trust myself. I was afraid I would do it again. But you are on Day 12 and that is fantastic!

Alcoholism is a very, very difficult disease to overcome. People just don't see it the same way as other diseases, which makes it two times more difficult for the alcoholic.

The people in AA have always understood my relapses, my shame. My family, my non-alcoholic friends, or anyone else never understood my dilemma. They could never understand how after everything is going so well that I would turn around a do it again.

I think you need to tell someone, but in your own time. Only because it is bothering you and maybe afraid you will fail. You will know when the right time is. So, I would suggest AA and a sponsor, or even a trusted friend or therapist. You don't have to tell anyone anything, only when you are ready.

Hope things go well for you.

Hi, congrats on your sobriety.
I told my husband each time I stopped drinking. I also relapsed each and every time after a few weeks, 3 months, a year....
I'd never tell him I'm alcoholic, I'd just say I'm not drinking.
When I finally went to AA, I accepted that I'm not only "not drinking" == I'm alcoholic. I told my husband that, I told my parents. I have told other women in AA but no one outside of AA. I've told all my friends and business associates that I don't drink. Period. I don't tell them I'm in AA or that I'm alcoholic.
As long as I know that, and do what I need to do a day at a time to be recovered, I'm good.

Hello hopefulsarah,

Well done on 12 days. You dont really have to tell anyone unless you feel like telling them.

When I went to the first couple of AA meetings my wife was out of town. By the third meeting she had returned and by then I knew that AA was the answer to my problem with alcohol, so I told her. Much later I told my immediate family but nobody else. A cousin who lives not much more than a stones throw away still gives me the odd bottle of whiskey because she doesnt know.

Telling my wife was an important milestone. I would never have told her if I had not accepted that I was finished with alcohol. It was an acceptance of the fact that I cannot drink safely and although I was very unsure at the time about whether or not I could stay sober, deep down I knew and accepted that I could not drink. It was also an acceptance that I would need to do whatever it took in order to remain sober and for that I relied on the suggestions of people who were sober for a long time in AA. Thank God, today I am close to being one of them long sober people and I dont care who I tell. I could never have done it on my own and I am not cured of alcoholism but I know that there is a solution to the problem.

I had some 'clearing up' to do...a few people to see and things to put straight so for me it wasn't so much about telling people that I wasn't drinking as explaining to them what had been going on with me for so long. ..

Along the way I learnt that was the most important thing to clear up. I had been hiding for years...knew I had a problem with drink, but couldn't bear to tell anyone, felt too ashamed and too stuck in a rut to have any perspective. I guess I waited until I had a little more confidence that the problem was no longer a problem. I stopped drinking...I could look people in the eye and say 'I'm an alcoholic so I don't drink' rather than 'I'm an alcoholic so I can't stop drinking'.

But that all came slowly...people found out as they needed to know...and I didn't realise what a burden that shame was until it wasn't there anymore.

P

The most important for me was to admit to myself, once I faced that I was in fact a alcoholic. I let my boyfriend know as we live together, but I really don't go to bars or clubs anymore. I agree with what stickywick said, just as we don't share every aspect of our lives with everyone we don't need to share we our alcoholics with everyone.