I agree, I thought an alcoholic was someone lying in the gutter, booze in a brown paper bag & never considered myself an alcoholic.
I had a great job, great house, didn't drink in the mornings, didn't drink & drive (except in my younger years), in my eyes I was a productive & functional member of society, I had no idea I was an alcoholic................until I did - I couldn't stop at that first drink, I had to drink more & more, that tells me I was & am an alcoholic & for the sake of having a great rest of my life, I cannot drink at all.

I recently heard the term "grey area drinking", and I think that's a category I fit into. However, because I was drinking way too often, because stopping at one or two was impossible, and because I knew I had to stop for myriad reasons, I believe I am an alcoholic.

My experience while drinking and then what levels of honesty I have found since quitting lead me to think of my past alcoholism of a mental health issue that I was ignorant of. The last four years has been the best time in my life. I feel healed in ways I never imagined. That’s why I don’t consider myself an alcoholic now. Mental/emotional health.
However I would never temp fate by having a drink. I’ve come too far and am genuinely happy.
I don’t day dream anymore, I don’t have fantasies about the future anymore. I live more in the present than I ever have. I think this is really something to look at when I reflect on my old behaviors. My mental state wasn’t reality based when I dramatic. And a it took a while to get real after I quit. So the problem wasn’t the alcohol. The problem was there before I started drinking.

Drank not dramatic lol. So that’s how I would assign alcoholism…. is the alcohol a way to hide from yourself?
I was so so lonely when I was drinking. Now I spend a lot of time alone and I never feel alone.

https://auditscreen.org/check-your-drinking

In my book alcoholic describes the way I used alcohol. I remember the very first party I went to and there was a large bottle of brown liquor hidden behind the goal post and I took a drink... the moment I had some in me I was like... wow that makes me cooler and freeer and so.. another drink. Well I ended up pissing the friends bed and was scolded by his mom like a child... I left feeling like shit but this alcoholic in me was hooked, instead of staying away it was like a magnet and I was ready to do it again...

I drank for about 20 more years in an alcoholic way, it began with weekends then in college I remember having to have a couple of beers a day, then go overboard on the weekends after college I kept it in check ( barely ) for I got married and had kids.
I would drink every day , but the problem was I needed more and more to attain that place and in the end I was drinking 15 plus a day . 15 over the hours of 5-11 is not normal... it’s alcoholic.

I found there is no gray area, it’s pretty simple , alcoholics have a craving that kicks in when we have one, then I drink till it’s gone , and then I get more.

Only way for me was to kick it all to the curb. No halfway because that was worse

Also I can’t tell you you are an alcoholic , you know that already ( Hint: The average drinker gets sleepy with one or two and says that’s it, me I used to have two in the shower getting ready to go out... )

Thanks everybody... yep, you're right. I do know I'm an alcoholic and have known for a very long time... not the intent of my question, I suppose.

Non alcoholic's defining what is or isn't an alcoholic was my curiosity - how the f**k would they know in the first place.

It's OK, though. I won't let any of that nonsense derail me. I'm just shy of 16 weeks sober... and I embrace every day as a new beginning for me.

Honestly it took about 6 months for the fog to lift and then I was in the middle of life without my coping mechanism. Sooo I had to learn other ways to deal, the main issue was I was very fearful... fearful of life, death, sungoing down sun going up life was a big ole fear fest.

You are getting close to the tipping point where the lure of staying sober will outweigh the need to medicate. Be easy on you , wear life like a loose garment
Stop the fight, and relax, it is going to be ok

1is2, I hear you on "missing" the coping mechanism... that certainly describes some of my past alcohol use - I am struggling with that, and it has been a stressful fall/winter, but I have coped so far without, so I know I can do it. As you said, it'll be OK.

I have dreams now where someone is offering me a drink - I never take it, which I think is a good sign. No more drunk dreams.

He can think that you are not a real alcoholic all that he wants. It is you, who knows the truth..

Hello, I was married 20 years to and alcohol. My husband mostly drank beer. When we were dating I thought it ok cute but I notice he would act differently this was in the '80s when we drink 40oz. I did not want to believe he had a drinking problem. I just thought he could not hold his liquors. I would change his brand of drinking even drink the beer with so he would not consume a lot. The longer our marriage went I realize it was a problem he could not keep a job and he became abusive. I notice the shaking of the hands if he had not had a drink. He went from drinking to drugs and I was in denial. I was helping keep his addiction by giving him the money for his habits instead of paying the bills. I thought I could pray him out of it nothing worked. You recognize you have the problem and you are doing something about it that is good.. Your husband chooses to think there is nothing wrong. We sometimes don't want to admit our spouse has a problem. I did not want to believe I married an alcoholic and I did not see it before we were married. If it goes away if it stops it's as though it never existed. It is not about what your husband thinks it helps but what works is how you think and what you do to resolve your addiction problem.