Alcoholism Support Group

Alcoholism is the continued consumption of alcoholic beverages, even when it is negatively affecting your health, work, relationships and life. If you think alcohol is causing you to lose control, it's time to seek help. Our group is a safe place to vent, check in, get back up if you fall, and reach sobriety.

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what is the difference?

keepitsimple39
keepitsimple39
tried posting this over in the depression section and was ignored, nice isnt it? what is the difference from being drunk and depressed and being sober and depressed? i just have the realization that there are things i will never have again in my life because of my age and it depresses the ever loving heck out of me. i realize that i will never have a family ever again, my kids have been taken and the system wont give them back to me. i realize now at 40 that women are not attracted to me as they once were back in my twenties so that is something else i will never have again. if i have to live every BLEEPIN day alone i might as well be drunk, going to counseling and taking medication isnt going to help me. sitting on this website for years and years is not going to put a smile on my face, more like a frown. i also realize that i will never love myself, i dont know what it feels like, how am i suppose to know? sometimes i wonder what my purpose is in this BULL-ONEY life because i am sick of living alone. sitting here every day and doing nothing sober, id rather be drunk. at least i would be doing something, unproductive or not it is something. the only way i will ever have any sort of affection will be winning the lottery and buying women to talk with me. you can laugh at me for saying that all you want, but that is the true reality of society and if you dont think so then your living in a fantasy world.
stickywick
stickywick
what is the question? Do you want to stop drinking? If you do, there is a solution. in fact there are many roads to take. I took AA and it works.
I no longer regret *any* of my past, and while I don't want to go back into it, I live in the now. I try not to project out into the future.
My first goal was to get sober. I would have sold myself short if I'd stoped there. My goal now is peace of mind, and being of service, every day. Interestingly the later helps with the former.
You might try AA. Worked for me.
Community LeaderExJerseyGirl2
ExJerseyGirl2
I wish there was something I could say that would help, but I have not experienced what you are going through. I was lucky in that when I quit drinking my anxiety and depression lifted. I did not realize how deeply I was mired in bad thoughts and feelings until I was out of it.

It is so difficult -- depression. When you are in it it can be impossible to see a way out or anything other than a hopeless future. I hope you find a path out.

I do know that no matter how bad it gets -- drinking makes it worse.
okiyoe1
okiyoe1
Not being a smartie pants here But I found and others always have reaffirmed that in-spite of what I missed. I alone through reaching out and experiencing things could answer these things by showing up to the life I have right now and grow through many of the uncomfortable things while staying sober . But I do hear what your saying..
Billy
GPBOB
GPBOB
Keepit simple.

At least you have the freedom and a choice every day.
My son has been in jail since August 10th, lost his career, lost his family, lost his freedom.......................
Go to meetings you like and try to say something positive.
Try to listen for the good in the lives of the people sharing their experience, strength, and hope.
If you were attracting females because of your appearance, then how shallow was that?
Try to be honestly concerned in the well-being of those around you, and others will value you for your character, not your youthful good looks.

all you have to change is your whole life and the way you see it.
A simple program, for a complicated person. That is the way I am able to get over the damage I did to myself and the ones I love.

GPBOB
keepitsimple39
keepitsimple39
not being treated for my social phobia, depression, and anger i cant be around people right now. it is more my fear, i mean just the other day i went to a place where i was very comfortable and i felt as if i was going to have a heart attack. it scared me so much i wanted to leave and never go back. the only thing that kept me from leaving was it is a familar place for me. i even saw a couple people in the waiting room and asked them if they would go to AA with me and they declined. it just makes me feel as if nobody really gives a shit about being clean, etc etc
nickyj18022002
nickyj18022002
I have suffered from terrible depression both drunk and sober. I can say with absolute certainty that being sober and depressed is infinitely preferable to being drunk and depressed. When I am drunk and depressed my situation IS hopeless, when I am sober and depressed my situation FEELS hopeless and there is a difference. Drunk and depressed the pretty bleak picture of the future may well be pretty close to the truth. Sober even if we suffer from depression all sorts of things are possible.
citychick2011
citychick2011
stop and snap out of it....really...snap out of it now!!!!!!!!!!!!! You should message me as I can relate.

Hugs,
Nikki
stickywick
stickywick
You need to stop looking for others to pick you up and save you. its time to admit you are powerless. Then perhaps you can get the help you so clearly need.
keepitsimple39
keepitsimple39
looking for people to save me? are you kidding me? i thought coming here for support and understanding was accepted? that is all i am looking for not for a savior. i have sought out treatment for my illnesses ok?> is that ok with you? my goodness why do people act so god damn high and mighty on these forums? talk about pushing people away, no wonder i hate these AAers.
barbarame
barbarame
Sounds as if you need to confront your depression first. Please choose the LIFEsyle over the death style. You are valuable. You were called into being by the Almighty, you were called by name. Therefore, divine creation, step up and fulfill the life that you are given, in the best way you can. Get all the help you need - it is ok to do so. xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
ZenMaster01
ZenMaster01
You stated that you are not being treated for your "social phobia, depression, and anger". May I ask why not? Is there any way that you can get treatment? Just know that for treatment to be effective that you need to be sober during the process. Please don't give up though okay! Message me anytime.

~Tiffany
keepitsimple39
keepitsimple39
i am on a 60 day waiting list because this area i am in doesnt have any providers because it is such a small city that doesnt offer anything. all these snobby, rich, asshole dotors only want to live in a city that offers them tons of different things. god forbid if they lend a hand to a smaller community that needs help. so until then i will suffer, thanks america you suck
donttread
donttread
What you're doing is called projecting . You're telling yourself "Since I'm lonley today, I'll always be lonley" which is ridiculous. Being sober you have a chance to work through, rather than wallow in the depression.
BTW, no the 20 something women I think you're talking about won't be as attracked as they used to be. So try thr 40 year old women? We call it life on life's terms.
deleted_user
deleted_user
Two angles on our lives-glass half empty or glass half full. We all can (atleast I can) fill up a page or 20 about all the shit I have to deal with, all the things wrong with me, all the crap I have missed in life, ALL the people who just somehow don't accept me, blah blah blah....

OR, I can sit and think about what I have. Your choice too my friend. And this is not a cliche-people with seemingly not a pot to piss in can be as happy as a clam and feel they have plenty to live for-it is all about attitude.

Oh and I get depressive episodes myself. I get through them by understanding that this will end, and it is really something I can deal with-it won't be the end of me, I just cannot drink over it. I am biologically different in this arena, I really believe that. So I accept it and see it for what it is-something to be overcome if possible, and if not I endure and see the light at the end of the tunnel.

There is always worse, always.
deleted_user
deleted_user
Oh and I think we all need to learn to be good partners for others-not try to find someone to help us. Who wants someone desperate and angry? I am older and not as attractive as I was - but I am a hellava lot better to be around because I do not expect others to fix me. I look more of how I can help them, or just be good company. I would rather have an ugly man that is not self absorbed and can see outside of his needs, than a good looking dude who is all about getting his own needs met, and it completely concerned with what I look like.