Sounds like me. I could quit I just couldn't stay quit until I decided to get to work on the underlying reasons why I drank.

I remember from the first sip of the peach tree schnapps the feeling that alcohol gave me. I was able to not worry about anything. And I would overdo it and embarrass myself and vow to stop only to be back drinking the next day.

I found that the group of alcoholics I meet with have been able to explain that I process alcohol different. I have two things 1) a obsession of when's the first one ? And 2) a compulsion once I start to find the rest, the rest in the house, town, state, etc. I also wold do thing s I regret and needed to drink to forget. It was a endless loop.

I quit so many times but would get feeling better and bam back on the bottle.

I found a way to take my last drink on June 9, 2012. Over 3 years, I still can't believe it. You can find sobriety too. You just have to go and make it happen. It's not that you are bad you just process booze differently. It is treated by just making yourself believe that being sober is better than drinking, but the first step is to stop drinking. It is possible.

1is2many

Wow, I never even had a drink until I was 18 so it is a bit hard for me to relate. Seems like you have a pretty solid head and you can see the writing on the wall. Alcohol will only continue to break down your body and mind. An addiction to alcohol will only make your life more difficult, and life is hard enough at your age. Only a natural and sober life will allow you to enjoy your full potential. Get free from Uncle Al.

AA will offer you the support you need, but you have to have a desire to stop drinking.

I was just like you with the depression and ptsd. I tried hundreds of times to quit on my own and I finally came to the realization that I needed help. No way could I do it alone!

I talked to my doctor who put me into detox for 4 days. From there I went through a 3 week outpatient program. After the IOP, I went through 3 months of relapse prevention group counseling where I learn about triggers and how to handle them. This greatly reduced my cravings.

Throughout all the treatment I had, attndance at aa meetings were required. That was 8 years ago. I still attend occasional ,meetings today, in order to give back what has been freely given to me! I live my life by the 12 steps and I have never been happier.

If I could make a suggestion, if your counselor is not trained in addictin counseling then you would need to get a different counselor who has the license. If that's the route you want to take.

Good luck on yur road to recovery. I hope you find the right path that fits you, just like I did!

God Bless!

Hello Pisskyrissy3,

Good to see that you have recognised that there is a problem and that you are looking for ways to fix it. You are at an important crossroads in life and the decisions that you make now are going to have a major bearing on your future. If you keep an open mind and are prepared to change there can be good times ahead.

I do not know much about PTSD but I suspect that like depression and anxiety it can be treated successfully by professional people who are trained in that field. Alcoholism on the other hand is something that you can start tackling right now. You will probably find that all areas of your life will greatly improve once you address the alcohol problem.

The first thing I would suggest is to have another talk with your therapist and to be more open about the extent of the problem. The second task is to educate yourself about alcoholism so that you know what you are dealing with. Your description of how you drink leads me to believe that you are dealing with alcoholism but it doesnt really matter what I think as it is only you that can make that diagnosis. There are a few important pointers and facts to consider.

You asked: what do I need to help me slow down and if you are referring to slowing down in your drinking, and if you are an alcoholic, the answer is that you cannot slow down. The reality is that you will either quit drinking entirely or your drinking will get progressively worse until everything is lost, up to and including life itself. That is the single most important fact for you to grasp right now. If you want to know why an alcoholic cannot slow down and control her or his drinking read through some other threads here.

You say that you want control over yourself and that is a good starting point. However, you are dealing with an extremely serious condition and it is possible that you will need help. The secret to recovery from alcoholism is learning how to bring about a radical change in your way of thinking. For some people that can be easy to do but for others it is extremely difficult without outside help.

My suggestion is to have a completely honest talk with your therapist. If you still keep relapsing after that there is definitely something that you can do by yourself look up Alcoholics Anonymous in your area and check out some meetings. If you ignore the problem as it will get worse but if you are willing to change your thinking your life can improve in many areas.

I am you in many ways. I am now 32 and have spent the last 10 years + drinking or thinking about the next time I can drink again. I have also battled with depression and anxiety throughout that time. I have reasoned, justified, begged, and everything else to continue drinking. I have lost jobs, relationships, friends, and family because of it.

Here is the good news, after 2 months of outpatient treatment (classes everyday) I am now 31 days sober. This is unheard of for me and will be for you too. I will not sugar coat this for you because you do not deserve that, it will be very hard! Very few people can do this on their own, most likely you cannot either, or for a very short time. I have found that the support, love and acceptance from my peers in recovery is necessary for me. If you choose, and it is a choice you have to make, to pursue recovery you will meet people that will love you for the person that you are.

I have also been prescribed Campral which is designed to help with those awful craving and it has been working wonders for me. I will note that it is not a magic cure, I did relapse several times when on it.

I am new to recovery and it is not easy everyday, but being sober is so much better than drinking I cannot even express. BTW my panic attacks and anxiety have all but gone away. I sincerely wish you the best and I promise this will be the best thing you have ever done if you decide to travel it.

hard to believe you can buy booze that often to be able to drink daily at only 18....it is not legal to purchase and when I was that age I had a supplier brother of friend and we could not get it every day because it cost so much and that was about 40yrs ago before prices went thru the roof....wanna explain how this is accomplished?

plus read others replies if you want help post any questions right here...you have not been back yet...