Alcoholism Support Group
Alcoholism is the continued consumption of alcoholic beverages, even when it is negatively affecting your health, work, relationships and life. If you think alcohol is causing you to lose control, it's time to seek help. Our group is a safe place to vent, check in, get back up if you fall, and reach sobriety.
I went to my 1st AA meeting this past Fri. I was sooo scared cuz there was like 70 people there crammed in a little room. It was a guest speaker night apparently. Anyway, got my 1st chip to stop drinking and a copy of the big book. Met a lady who gave me her # and she gave me a link to a smaller women's group that meets daily. Here's my 2 problems: I know the whole "god is what you make of it "stuff. I told her I'm agnostic/atheist. She said "that will work itself out". I think all religion is a sham, so I don't know how it will. The 2nd thing is everyone was hugging and touching me(out of support) and standing in my face. I have anxiety/panic disorder, too and have HUGE personal space issues. I had to take 2 xanax cuz I started having tons of chest pain and couldn't breathe. Are all meetings this way? (so touchy feely). I can't stand to have people touching me or being so close but I didn't want to be rude. Have been reading the book, though and it has been like looking into a mirror and I'm only on chapter 4. Thanks.
More will be reveled..
You went to a speaker meeting. They are Always packed. Regular meetings will have less than half that number. Call that lady. Explain to her what happened and maybe she will help as a buffer for a while. I'd almost bet that your anxiety will lessen as time goes on.
Give it a chance. No one is comfortable in the beginning. Especially when being surrounded by people who want no more from you than to get better and... be a friend.
You have every right to ask people not to hug you. Maybe, you could extend your hand to people when you see them coming towards you arms open wide. It';s inappropriate to just hug people without checking it's ok to do so.
When I first came to AA it was not common for all that stuff to go on and i am so relieved because it might have scared me off - I couldn't cope with any physical contact at all, with anyone at that time.
Do talk to the woman that gave you her number about that though because she will have a better idea how to handle that within the context of that particular meeting. We are a bit different about that stuff here in the UK anyway. BUT do remember that you have an absolute right not to be hugged!
I always ask people if they would like a hug now because I know how scary it was for me. I have changed in the time I have been in AA and I am quite happy to be hugged, but it's still my prerogative to refuse!
I am SO glad that you went to your first meeting! Please be patient with the process. Many people feel as you do in early recovery. Nothing feels right in early recovery--especially those things involving other human beings. Interpersonal issues is a very big issue for most AA's.
Try reading the stories in the back of the Big Book. Nearly half of the book are personal stories. These always brought me a lot of reassurance. Every AA meeting IS not for everyone. My home group only has eight members. Try different meetings and different types of meetings. I wish I knew what else to say to reassure you.
Peace to you,
Wayne-