Alcoholism Support Group
Alcoholism is the continued consumption of alcoholic beverages, even when it is negatively affecting your health, work, relationships and life. If you think alcohol is causing you to lose control, it's time to seek help. Our group is a safe place to vent, check in, get back up if you fall, and reach sobriety.
I thought when i stopped drinking it was going to solve all my problems, That I wouldnt just be sorting out my alcoholism but that i would be somehow immune from life.
For a while at the beginning it was really cool. The relief of waking up not feeling ill and having to drink, knowing what i did the night before, etc was enough - not drinking was enough.
But after a while it wasnt like that. People stopped being grateful just that I wasnt drinking and had other expectations of me. The world carried on as normal, the only thing different was that I had stopped drinking. And the relief of that had worn off somewhat - I took the little things that were important at the beginning for granted and they started to be outweighed by some negatives that were creeping in. Feelings, try to deal with the mess I had created, fear, resentment, having to get on with life without life making an exception for me - because I had decided that as i was in recovery nothing bad should happen and everyone should treat me how I wanted to be treated etc etc etc.
Suddenly sobriety wasnt the wonderful thing I thought it would be.
It turned out my expectations were unreasonable. I thought I should be fixed, life should be wonderful, I should always feel fantastic, because I was sober. That isnt reasonable, that isnt true for anyones life whether alcoholic or not. Everyone has good things and bad things happening, everyone has times they feel great and times they feel terrible. That is life and humanity.
By accepting that, I was able to have less expectations of things being perfect. Recovery does not give me an exemption from life. I was then able to put in the action that was necessary to stay sober and to have the tools to deal with reality, whatever it is like or however it feels.
For a while at the beginning it was really cool. The relief of waking up not feeling ill and having to drink, knowing what i did the night before, etc was enough - not drinking was enough.
But after a while it wasnt like that. People stopped being grateful just that I wasnt drinking and had other expectations of me. The world carried on as normal, the only thing different was that I had stopped drinking. And the relief of that had worn off somewhat - I took the little things that were important at the beginning for granted and they started to be outweighed by some negatives that were creeping in. Feelings, try to deal with the mess I had created, fear, resentment, having to get on with life without life making an exception for me - because I had decided that as i was in recovery nothing bad should happen and everyone should treat me how I wanted to be treated etc etc etc.
Suddenly sobriety wasnt the wonderful thing I thought it would be.
It turned out my expectations were unreasonable. I thought I should be fixed, life should be wonderful, I should always feel fantastic, because I was sober. That isnt reasonable, that isnt true for anyones life whether alcoholic or not. Everyone has good things and bad things happening, everyone has times they feel great and times they feel terrible. That is life and humanity.
By accepting that, I was able to have less expectations of things being perfect. Recovery does not give me an exemption from life. I was then able to put in the action that was necessary to stay sober and to have the tools to deal with reality, whatever it is like or however it feels.
Life ain't wonderful sometimes. Shit happens. Being able to deal with life without running for a drink is a beautiful thing.
I think also we need to understand that reality is not always going to go how we want, and we don't always get what it is we think is so important for us. We get what is appropriate-what we need.
Expectations need not be lowered-they need to be re-geared to go with the flow of life. To be able to handle what comes our way-not try to control every little thing to suit us.
I can have hopes and aspirations without expectations and demands, right? I think I am getting better at preparing for whatever outcome I receive without dampening my ambition. I am seeking contentment while still striving for a result. It takes a lot of effort and forethought. I am learning.
And, yea, acceptance.
Without that I was just on the road to distruction....my own head would have got me.
How different life is today eh Nicky?
Nice to remember what it was like in those early days without the program that has taught me how to live with me.....the biggest expectation I ever had was of myself.
Progress not perfection.
I can't get down with that.
Goals are OK if you fully understand that they might just not happen in your time.
Maybe, they might not happen at all.
My reaction is key.
Accepting life is key.
Yeah, sobriety is like that. Like Rooms To Go (furniture store in the USA) they advertise "no payments for one full year". Woohoo! Yippee! Sounds all fine well and good until you actually have to DO SOMETHING in order to keep what you've got.
Same thing.....if you want it, you gotta work for it and ya gotta keep workin for it. Nothing in life that's worth anything is free.....Get off your lazy ass and work for it if it's something you want!