Alcoholism Support Group

Alcoholism is the continued consumption of alcoholic beverages, even when it is negatively affecting your health, work, relationships and life. If you think alcohol is causing you to lose control, it's time to seek help. Our group is a safe place to vent, check in, get back up if you fall, and reach sobriety.

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This probably unhealthy

Jaylat
Jaylat

So I went to rehab, I've been here 7 days and it's been tough for me on and off, the issue is not staying sober, I haven't drank since Dec 20 and I still have 29 days left and am working on me. The thing I have done is my girl has kicked me out, but still talks to me and is supportive, tells me she loves me and misses me,  and wants me better, but says not sure what will happen to us in the future or if I can ever go home, her and her family don't understand my illnesses as far as alcoholism,  ptsd, depression and anxiety,  thee un health thing I have done is her ex husband is trying to keep me from the kids in order to keep me away from my girl, just his excuse, he told me he loves her and wants her back, he cheated on her 3 times in 10yrs and they been divorced for 5 yrs, so I made a fake account on a dating site and contacted him, and he is still looking for other woman and telling them he will never get back with his ex wife, who is the girl I fell in love with, I've emailed him for 2 days now and he thinks I'm into him, little does he know, but I want to inform my girl as to what he is still doing so she don't end up back with him thinking he has changed, cause I'm working on me to get my family back, what should I do?

Community Leaderbobinmaine
bobinmaine
Interfering in her life will probably anger her. She is supporting you and obviously cares about you but you need to stop interfering in her life and allow her to make her own decisions and accept those decisions. IMHO.

I now you're feeling hurt but in the grand scheme of things, your life will be a happy life if you just focus on yourself and stay sober, and allow her to live her own life, however she sees fit. Try to be patient. In the meantime, practice meditation or try to learn how to be more patient.

God Bless
Lukie1946
Lukie1946
You are in a rehab... try reading the Serenity Prayer daily. You only have control over you and your life... not over her or her life. I agree with my friend Bobinmaine... do not interfere in her life. She must decided for herself what she wants. Right now you must concentrate on YOUR recovery. She is living in your head rent free and so is her ex. Once you get out, find a place to live and go to as many AA meetings as you can, if AA is your choice for recovery. Otherwise see your therapist as much as possible. If you concentrate on getting her back, you will probably drink again and lose her forever. Just my observations since I have been sober.... Good luck.
Jaylat
Jaylat
I hear what your all saying and I'm not gonna interfere with what's going on, but she is telling me she loves me and wants to be with me, shit we hooked up before I left and she said I can see her when I get out, but is she playing with my mind or is she genuine, I really don't know how to take it, she has their own me out , kept the money we saved and sold my car and I'm telling hnically homeless when I leave here so what should I do, I'm focusing on me and doing what I need for me, yes when I have down time it kills me, I've been good last 2 days and not done or said much to her as to give space and she will still text I love you and miss you
jeffneedshelp
jeffneedshelp
Time to grow up and move on. Be a better you for yourself and your next female.
Jaylat
Jaylat
Jeffneedshelp Who are you to tell me to grow up, I still care about this woman and don't wanna see her get hurt, I'm fixing myself and if you new my story and what I've been through since getting outta the army, you might have approached it a different way, thank God we can't meet face to face cause it responses like that that will pissed people off
msmermaid
msmermaid
I have to agree about use the serenity prayer. In my very early days I said it many times during the day. You have to let go of the things you cannot change and focus on the things that you can. The problem is having the wisdom to think things through and know which is which
Community Leaderbobinmaine
bobinmaine
In the future you will understand better, why it's important, at this point in time, to concern yourself with what you need to do right now, this minute. Living in the present will bring huge rewards, if you just have the patience to accept things how they are. Don't worry about the past and don't think about the future. You will see why, later.

If you ever get a hold of that little AA booklet called, ":Acceptance", alot of what we are saying will ring true as you read that book. It's only 20 or 30 pages in length but you will identify with every paragraph. It's very well written. Every word is laid in like a brick! It will all resonate with you. They must have a copy there someplace, you should ask.

God Bless!
rainbowlegacym55
rainbowlegacym55
Messing with an ex like that is playing with fire. HE may not be stable either or has massive control issues. Triangles involving kids is just something you don't want to mess with . Focus on you you you.. Get healthy and like everyone says maybe you need someone to give you a black out order to focus on recovery and no contact means no contact. . if not my guess is you wont get your recovery to work . Old enough to know been there done those things several times and got involved in this type of drama... It is always a losing proposition and could escalate and you could lose more than recovery . This is just one person not a therapist or expert but I am offering some insight . Hope it helps Focus your energy on recovery . you came there for a reason . will you get another chance .
jeffneedshelp
jeffneedshelp
I'm telling you to fix you. Sobriety should be number one in your life, no matter how you find it.

Everything else will fall into place.
Jaylat
Jaylat
I get it, just watched him how. start,cause telling me to grow up and not knowing me, is a old jump, I am 40yrs old and love my family, I'm focused on me and want my family back
jeffneedshelp
jeffneedshelp
I hear you. And without sobriety, you don't get that back. Focus on sobriety first always!
gr8tful2be
gr8tful2be
jaylet, you come here asking what you should do. Yet get angry when we answer. You are more focused on her than your recovery. She's leaving the drunk and you are insuring that she will not take you back. You come here manipulating people to co-sign your BS. Stop the online activity. She will find out and you will be cooked. Sobriety is a matter of life or death to many. Tell your case manager what you've been up to and ask HIM what you should do. While you still have time to turn this train wreck around. Good luck.
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