Parenting isnt easy. That is for sure. It's amazing how much we now logically it can get overtaken by our emotions. I cant tell you how many times I told myself I would only have a certain amount to feel better and then I have overdone it. Dont give up. We have to be strong for our kids. One day they will notice. I have a teenage son and always swore my kids would never see me drink. Now he knows... It makes me feel horrible. That is one of the many reasons I am trying to stay sober. He may know I drink too much, put he can see me beat this and show him that while sometimes people fall down they can get back up. Hugs to you. I hope tomorrow is a better day. I know I have had a lot of rough mornings. One things I have started doing is going to bed earlier, get up about 15 minutes before the kids and get dressed. Then I can have a clear head space to get everyone ready and out the door. It's so much easier without a hangover. A whole new world

Aren’t the weekends harder with kids? Less time for some peace. My kids are young adults but my 5 year old granddaughter is with us on the weekend so I’m getting a second run. Busy. Although that probably helps to stay sober than if you are alone. That realization that drinking doesn’t help anything is important. When I find my mind returning to unhealthy ‘loops’ (great word) I ask myself; how did this work out last time? The answer comes back fairly quick. Not well. What’s left? Do something different. Even though it’s a big scary change. Lol. That’s usually how I see it at first so I have a built in excuse to avoid it. Seeing that pattern is progress. Stay the course

My son is 13 and has special needs. He just started again at his old school. Lots of coordinating and communicating with many many people lol so it gets overwhelming sometimes. I am getting better about dealing with my stress and emotions. Working out and being active has saved me so many times. I've become a runner. I get outside. And if I can't do that I get on the treadmill and just run until I can't run anymore with music blasting. Its helped me so much with my anger and clears my head. I live in an apartment and there is crappy little gym with a few treadmills and machines. But I love it. And no one else is ever in there. Which is good because if there are more than 3 people its way too cramped to workout lol

Keep up the good work. Working out does help a lot, and it is improving your health. I did the treadmill as well today, and I feel so much better. Praying and writing in a journal also helps. Glad to see you're still here.

Staying sober for yourself is great. Being available for your son on a higher level is amazing. When I was his age I was very affected and aware of what my parents were doing. So adopting a healthy lifestyle is the best gift you can give.