I drank because I'm alcoholic. I would just heat up inside like a pressure cooker and I had to drink. I had to in order to relieve the inner pressure. I didn't like who I was so in effect I tried to hide from myself, problem is I kept waking up with myself and so I needed to drink, hide, sleep, drink , hide, sleep, etc etc. Was a hellaf a cycle.
Today I try to stay sober by not having even one. Stopz the cycle for this alchie
1is2many

If it's making you more miserable than happy in the long run, then it's simply not worth it.

If I want to stop drinking for myself and my family, why do I drink the most when I'm around my family? I just don't get it. ..

Hello smahon02,

I can understand how you feel about the weekends. I would drink a lot on Friday and Sunday nights; then I added Saturday night. After a while I thought that there was a long gap between Sunday and Friday so I went to a bar on Wednesday night to support a fund-raising event for the local school, or so I thought. Then the gap between Sunday and Wednesday was too long and I drank on Monday or Tuesday. Eventually I drank every day and then almost all day, every day.

I tried not to analyse my drinking too much as I was afraid of facing the truth. Kicking the problem down the road worked for a while but although I did not understand why, alcoholism was taking an ever tighter grip. I then tried to control it as you are doing now but no matter how hard I tried it always came back to continuous drinking.

When I went to an AA meeting I learned that as an alcoholic I had developed an obsession for alcohol and that was the real reason why I drank. I would make up very convincing excuses to justify taking a couple of drinks but the reality was that I rarely drank in moderation.

What you are doing now is fighting against an obsession for alcohol and that is difficult. It works up to a point but an obsession is a powerful force and it will usually overcome your willpower eventually. In order to stop you may need to work at removing the obsession rather than fighting against it.

Perhaps the pressure you feel not to drink for their sake triggers you to drink to relax?
I learned that I cannot stop drinking for anyone but for myself. Otherwise it won't last very long.

maybe your not alcoholic?

You haven't decided to quit yet. You've just lengthened the times between drinks. At least that's what it looks like to me if you are choosing to drink on the weekends.

What is behind your choice to pick up a drink you don't even like? What's holding you back from the life you deserve?

Maybe you have not devolved the coping skills that you need when around you family. Instead you drink.

smahon- I feel like I can really relate to your situation. I am newly accepting of my addiction issues. I too was/am very moderate in my consumption. So moderate I had difficulty seeing that I was addicted. I usually only had 1-2 beers and smoked pot one hit. Then I realized the beer is so strong California IPA and the pot so strong that just a little bit and I was altered completely. I am giving it all up. I mean not everyone needs to have a beer or two nor smoke any pot. Anyways, I am more clear and present in my life. I have a ways to go. This weekend I went out with an old friend and resumed old habits. It was a wake up call. I was doing it to fit in with him and I felt like total shit the next day. Again I wasn't excessive but after having been sober for a couple weeks it really hit me. Anyways, congratulations on acknowledging where you are, isn't that our first step?

smahon, is it possible you're talking yourself into a beer or 2 on the weekend?. Are you thinking about it during the week?. Are the weeks easier because you know you'll be drinking on the weekend?.

Maybe you need help in answering those questions and developing some kind of plan. I couldn't stop for good on my own and it seems you're not having much luck doing it either. I can wish for your sobriety all day long but you are the one to whom it is up.

I stayed stopped with the help of sober alcoholics. I hope you find a way too.

Perhaps its not the weekend, or your family that is the problem. Perhaps its that you arent ready to stop drinking?