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The last straw

enoughisenough2
enoughisenough2

Last saturday night was the last straw.  My daughter, (15) was having friends over and my husband and I were going out so they could have the house for a bit.  We had gone out for lunch and my husband had too much to drink.  He came home and started yelling at my daughter infront of her friends humiliating her.  They left the house as did I.  I txt him that he had to leave, he did.  Do I force my daughter into seeing him?

Community Leaderbobinmaine
bobinmaine
Not unless dad wants to apologize to her! Wait until harsh feelings subside, in my humble opinion. Disciplining kids in front of others and humiliating her is very bad parenting. This brings back bad memories of my own teenage years! My dad did that to me many times, and I had very low self esteem as a result. But he made it up to me in his later years so I forgave him.

God Bless!
enoughisenough2
enoughisenough2
Fact is, she did nothing wrong but ask him if we were going out. He and I had an argument on the way home from lunch. Don't know when it got so bad but he was creaming at me that he hates me and is out of my life! So when my daughter asked if we were going out he screamed "this is my fn house I pay the fn bills don't tell me what to do"
Impermanence
Impermanence
`
This is his problem with the daughter. He has to handle it, not her or you.
jeffneedshelp
jeffneedshelp
I agree. Rock bottom for him is realizing his errant ways and atoning for them.

What id relay to your daughter is that her father is sick.
1is2many
1is2many
I must say that it sucks that this happened, I hope i dont drink for I would do the same, just blow up and say something I would regret.I used to drink at lunch it was a crappy time 1-2
enoughisenough2
enoughisenough2
Her dad did say sorry and he wants to see her an talk, she is not ready
jeffneedshelp
jeffneedshelp
The sorrys become meaningless if this happens more than once.
Koyu
Koyu
My father did that to my brother when my brother had a sleep over. My father chased his friends out in the middle of the night!

If she is not ready to see him, I would just relay the message. I think she needs time.

Are you taking care of yourself? I would suggest going to CODA or Al Anon. Living with an alcoholic is exhausting and emotional draining so please take care of yourself.
stickywick
stickywick
So I'm not qualified to give you advice on what to do with your husband and daughter. I can tell you what I would do. I'd go to Alanon; and I'd ask for help. If he's alcoholic, then you have a big family problem. I have three children. If my husband did this to any one of our kids, I'd throw him out and insist he get help. No drunk will get sober till he really wants to do it, we can't wish them healthy. But its the families problem as it effects you all so you need to take care of your girl, and you. Put her first, cause he isnt.
enoughisenough2
enoughisenough2
I am going to Alanon tonight~
Community Leaderbobinmaine
bobinmaine
I think you need to give her time to talk to dad on her own terms. I also recommend alanon for both you AND your daughter!

I will pray for your family.

God Bless
sobriety26
sobriety26
Imcompreslilble demoraization
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