I found that alcohol was dragging me down. I was stuck in a job I didn't like and resented myself for getting there. I continued down the spiral until one day I just had enough I went to an aa meeting and made a commitment to get sober. That was a few 24 hours ago and I will say that I have much more ambition and drive. I am excelling and enjoy going. To work. It is possible to get a new perspective. But the plug must go in the jug before the self confidence comes back

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Hello. I know exactly how you feel. I was in the same situation for years. I left a good job that I held from 1991-2001. (I was in the process of being squeezed out and stupidly thought I could freelance for a while, then just pick up where I left off at another organization.) I have an MBA and a good resume. Ever since then, I was vastly underemployed. With the crappy economy (especially back then) you were extremely fortunate to get what you could.

Wow, talk about feeling angry and resentful. I'd go to work with a chip on both shoulders and throw a pity party for myself every night with bottles of wine. My strategy was that I'd try as damned hard as I could to force my way a head and make my way up the ladder. It's like banging your head against a brick wall.

Little did I know that the drinking was my biggest impediment. I got sucked up in a cycle of self-pity and drinking, which started to impact my physical and mental health and made everything 1000x worse.

You have to keep in mind that this is not your fault and to not beat yourself up and feel unworthy, unappreciated, etc., That is just the way today's job market is. There is no loyalty on either side of the desk (anymore.) I heard a news story yesterday that stated that young people just starting out could hold as any as 40 different jobs in the span of their careers. (I wasn't paying rapt attention, so I don't know what the source was.)

You are right that drinking isn't going to help your situation. I don't know what field you're in, but maybe it is time to make a career change and do something you really enjoy. (I'm getting the impression that you don't like your present job?) I'm three years older than you and I read a lot about employment options for people over 50. It sounds like more companies are opening their doors wider for "seniors" because they have a good work ethic and aren't "gimme gimme gimme" like the millennials, etc., who are still greenies in the job market.

There also might be some training options for older adults that could be free or at a reduced cost. It's worth looking in to.

My "career" in the NFP field imploded and I am on disability. (I had so many mental and physical health problems that I should have pursued that avenue much earlier than I was forced to.) But the drinking sure didn't help. I realized now that I HATED management jobs, and all of the crap and politics and stress that went with is, especially when I had to supervise people of any age. I also discovered that the jobs I enjoyed most were considered "menial" such as working in a retail pharmacy or arts and crafts store.

Today, I can't work very much, but I work a few hours a week providing senior companionship to an elderly couple (mostly the woman.) The pay is terrible, but I really enjoy what I do. It's relatively low stress and I don't take it home with me at night.

I don't go to AA for a variety of reasons, but that doesn't mean it can't work for you. There are also groups like Smart Recovery and "little old us!"

Good luck!