I've really been feeling like a drink this last few hours, i think because I'm on my own so I know that I probably won't be caught but I'm tired of living this double life. I want some intergrity but I still seem to have none. I think it has hit me this evening in a way it hasn't for about a month because I let myself get hyped up, I put on some fast tunes and was jumping about the place but then its like i want to push it further and go out and be crazy and get drunk! I know that I shouldn't and this feeling will pass but I want to be able to get high and enjoy that buzz, somebody said to me the other day that I'm old before my time and thats what it feels like at the moment that I'm missing out on all the fun that my peers might be having tonight. Anyway I'll stop whinging now thanks for reading if you did
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