Hey, nice to see a post from you!

90 days is fabulous - bravo for you! Sorry, I can't participate in the Step question, but I did want to give you a warm congratulations!

I can relate to that. Suggests that you've been thorough.

For me, Step 4 made me realize why I had to finish the job. It was time to put all this baggage down.

Keep going, trust what you're doing

Thing bout four was that commitment in three to move thru the next steps

Good for you, Anne! I was just thinking about you yesterday and wondering how you were doing. :)))

Everybody's 4th step is different, so don't go by what people say here. Do what is right for you. Ask your HP for guidance and all will be well. So happy you are moving along.

Hi there Anne...CONGRATULATIONS on your 90. that is just so awesome and for me it definitely got easier after 90. My sponsor dropped me just as we began the 4th step and it took a while to find a new sponsor and she took me back to step 1 so it took a VERY long time and a couple of efforts to work thru step 4. Its actually great that you have as many as you have! My problem is not acknowledging resentments. I used alcohol to bury them but even without alcohol I don't accept them easily and try to stuff my feelings. I needed to find other ways to release anxiety, tension, fear and resentments because for so long alcohol was my only outlet. Working thru the steps helped me address my issues and then find and use other ways to work thru and understand my part in my resentments. Every journey is a little bit different and it looks as though you are traveling well.

You have a sponsor right? Ask her guidance. I did it right out of the book. And I did it relatively fast. In one sitting, to the best of my ability. I then shared it with my sponsor (step 5). What a relief!!!!!!!
Then went home and sat quietly for an hour or so....and asked God to remove all my defects (that I knew of at that time;0) more was revealed for sure later)....steps 6 and 7.
It doesnt say delay, or mind screw it, or write a novel. So don't sweat it. Talk to your sponsor, read the book as it has clear instructions and just be willing to be willing.

Welcome back Anne.
In regards to your question my first sponsor pointed out to me that if my 3rd step was a through one 4 and 5 would fall into place. If gave my will and life over to the care of my higher power without reservation I really had nothing to fear. With the possible exception of guilt. In which case I need to go back to three.If I had truly given all there is to give in step 3 ,I would have no baggage to carry into steps 4&5. Dont be so hard on yourself. Your in the middle of changing your whole life. There is no timeline just foward progress as little as it may seem.
Greg

Hello anned22,

Well done on 90 days and starting Step 4. The list can be as long or as short as you want it to be some people have maybe one page and some have very many pages. Better to write it all down anyway even if you think that something is silly your sponsor can draw a line through what is not important.

You should have two objectives in mind when doing Steps 4. The first thing that you want to achieve is to work through the lists with your sponsor until you no longer have any names in Column 1 and this takes you into Step 5 which is really an extension of Step 4.

The second objective is to understand exactly how resentment, fear etc. develop and what part you played. This is vitally important because it will enable you to put it all into practice on a daily basis in Step 10. Failure to understand the process usually results in another Column 1 list in a couple of months whereas knowing how it works will enable you to keep the sheet blank in future.

Step 3 is the driving force that will guide you along and make it easy.

You go girl!!!!!

Doesn't matter if there are 5, 50 or 500 - take it one column at a time and your 4th step will be just as it should.

I will say a prayer for you AND your sponsor....

G'Day Anne

And good on you 90 days is awesome.A lot of people put of doing a Step 4 because of Step 5 ,well I did who wants to tell anybody what I did while drinking but I found out early in recovery I was only as sick as my secrets.

And don't forget to put down that one thing you were never going to tell anyone you will never be free until that is out.. Remember no one has to see your step 4 unless you want them to and that in most cases-es will be your sponsor.

I wont say no more because that's between you and your sponsor, but here is a worksheet that helped me and may be helpful to you show your sponsor if uncertain.

When it came to Fears I used to say I am not afraid of anything or anyone but how wrong was after looking at this list .lol
Just take what you want and leave the rest.

God Bless...



http://www.royy.com/step4.pdf