Alcoholism Support Group

Alcoholism is the continued consumption of alcoholic beverages, even when it is negatively affecting your health, work, relationships and life. If you think alcohol is causing you to lose control, it's time to seek help. Our group is a safe place to vent, check in, get back up if you fall, and reach sobriety.

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Christopher22 04/04/2012

I have this person in my life who is acting as somewhat my sponsor although I've made it clear to her that I don't want anymore sponsors and I don't want to go to anymore meetings i find them boring and a waste of my time. But she has said she wants to work the steps with me and I'm wondering that if I don't go to meetings or have sponsor if working the steps has any value. Don't get me wrong I have no problem with doing it.

I'm just burned out on AA I've been to more meetings than I can count and have had numerous sponsors and they all say the same thing there is no relapse in recovery and dump me well except for one. Well not everyone is going to get it on the first try and I don't by into the tuf love shit I believe if you care about some one you never give up on them. I guess I'm just ranting here. I'm sober now and plan to stay that way, I was sober for almost 4 years without AA and I know I can do it again, I have no problem with working the steps I just don't want all the crap that goes with AA

gjm 04/04/2012

So don't go to meetings and work the steps if you so choose. Are you looking for someone here to justify your choice you have made or what?

This person that your talking about that wants to sponsor you is she in recovery or maybe someone that thinks she knows whats best for you, a girlfriend maybe?

Christopher22 04/04/2012

A lot of assumptions there, btw I don't have a girlfriend and if I did it wouldn't be her she lives on the other end of the country.

deleted_user 04/04/2012

Hey, Christopher, if you'd rather drink, why are you messing up your head with all these questions? Sponsors don't help us to want to stop drinking. That's our job, not something someone else is supposed to hand us on a platter. Capisce?

nelliefay 04/05/2012

Hi. are you saying that sponsors dump you because you've relapsed?. That sucks. You are sober today, and that's what counts, and you can learn from all your experiences. Good luck.

deleted_user 04/05/2012

So you don't want to go to meetings or have a sponsor? Why post here? Do you want us to condone your idea? I remember you mentioning working the steps by yourself. You say you can quit on your own, yet you haven't. there is something wrong with your logic here. I have never heard of anyone working the steps on their own. Nemorino is right, sponsors can't keep you from drinking, that is entirely up to you. As it says in one of the stories in the BB, AA helps you stay sober, not stopping drinking. Sounds like self ego run riot

CoogeeMum 04/05/2012

Interesting to try to work out what's going on in your two para's here Christopher, but my interpretation on your first sentence is that you have a friend who is a little pushy in wanting to sponsor you. Could be that your friend is sick of seeing you in a cycle of self-destruction and just wants you to get well. Or perhaps they're taking on the role of rescuer in your relationship which probably isn't healthy for either of you. Hard to say without truly knowing the dynamics of your relationship. Whatever the reasons, pushing AA onto you won't work as you're the one who should 'want' to explore that or any program further.

You also questioned sponsoring and meetings. No, you don't need to go to meetings to do the 12 steps. Personally, both helped me. I didn't attend meetings with my sponsor, but did go to them daily, and my sponsor and I would chat about what I had related to in them. What my sponsor did do, was set to work on the 12 steps and once we started them, we were both committed to seeing them through in their entirety.

Christopher, you mentioned that you'd had quite a few sponsors in the past. How far did you get with the steps with each? Was there a particular obstacle with one? As G said in reply 1, if you don't want to go to meetings and work the steps, that is your choice. Let your friend know. Jersey mentioned SMART on here in another thread that you could check out.

There's a lot out there you can do to help yourself. All involves change. Give it your best.

deleted_user 04/05/2012

The broken record of my alcoholic thinking never had a happy ending for me. I had to replace that old song with a different tune that I learned from others who had been successful in finding happiness in a sober life than I ever had. The 12 Steps are the whole focus of AA for me, not an optional extra. Its the spiritual answer I had to find.

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