Hi vividxx, I'm an alcoholic and can tell you he's kidding himself that he's in recovery if he has diagnosed himself as alcoholic and he is still drinking any alcohol at all. That's the biggest part of the problem really the mind is sick and truth and fiction blur..

If you are serious about this man and want help for yourself because you can't leave for some reason or other Al-anon is your best avenue of enquiry.

Don't expect to understand exactly what alcoholism is if you are a normal drinker but Al-Anon can help you make the best of your own life whether your alcoholic is drinking or not.

He's not "recovering" he attempting control which will most likely fail over time. As for not understanding it's tough. My wife will actually stop drinking if she feels herself getting buzzed. That concept is completely foreign to me and likely to your boyfriend as well.
But if you are or ever have been a smoker or severe overeater you can get a glimpse of what it's like.
I'd also suggest Alanon

Concider yourself lucky that your body does not like alcohol. It is like cigerrettes (for some, maybe). Your body might regect smoking at first. You may cough and gag, but if you keep at it, you will be able to smoke with no problem and you maybe become addicted.
If I have a drink, I become buzzed (which I like) and then I have another, and another, and then another, and then another. I will drink until it is bedtime and then I cant sleep. I become completeley wasted and feel like shit. For that reason, I no longer have a sip.

Hello vividXX,

You have raised some interesting questions regarding the differences between an alcoholic and a social drinker. You react to alcohol in the same way that the majority of drinkers, around 90% of them do. You dont like the taste of it; it is difficult for you to consume; you get nauseous and dizzy etc. and that is a normal reaction to alcohol. Your boyfriend on the other hand is among the one in ten drinkers who react mentally and physically in a completely different way to alcohol.

A person who has become an alcoholic will have developed an obsession of the mind for alcohol. This obsession becomes so strong that the person will have no choice in whether to drink or not and will therefore make up whatever excuses or causes that are necessary in order to justify taking a few drinks. You ask: What kind of effects does alcohol (have) on your body and that is where there is another difference between the alcoholic and social drinker. When an alcoholic takes one drink he or she will immediately develop a strong craving in the body for more alcohol and the only way to satisfy the craving is by taking another drink, which in turn increases the craving still further. That is why an alcoholic will not react as you do after taking a drink but will instead look for more alcohol. This physical craving is present only in people who are alcoholics and is not a feature in the normal drinker.

Once a drinker crosses the line into alcoholism and develops this abnormal physical reaction the only way that he can recover is by total abstinence from alcohol. If he does not take the first drink, he will never again experience the craving but regardless of how long he has been sober, if he takes a drink he will be right back to where he had left off the last time he was drinking. The trouble is that his mind is programmed into thinking that he needs alcohol in order to function normally and not taking that first drink becomes difficult to impossible to achieve.

Therefore, in order for such a person to recover from alcoholism, some means must be found that removes the mental obsession which drives the person to take the first drink. There are various methods that may work for different people but the most common one is the Alcoholics Anonymous programme of recovery. Your boyfriend is not recovering from alcoholism but is instead trying to control his drinking, something that always ends in failure for an alcoholic. Alcoholism is a progressive illness and will always get worse, never better for as long as the alcoholic keeps drinking. He may genuinely believe that he can control it or he may be trying to avoid facing up to his problem but if he is an alcoholic he needs to stop drinking. He may be afraid that he cannot stop or that he cannot live without alcohol and that type of thinking is common among alcoholics who are still drinking. However, regardless of how hopeless he may be, he can recover from alcoholism, providing that he is prepared to be honest with himself and seek help. AA is a good place to start.

If you are interested in alcoholism go to an open meeting of AA, google alcoholism, etc.
If you want to know what its like...let's see...do you love ice cream? Chips? Is there any substance that as soon as you eat or drink it you want / crave more? There are many substances that people become addicted to and maybe you can relate through your love of one of these other substances and the effect it has on you?
If not, be grateful:-) You are a normie!

As for your boyfriend, he's not in recovery if he's drinking. Alcoholics can't moderate.

Yeah, I've heard that before. He is about to start a program as part of the consequences of the DUI, where he can't drink at all so he is "enjoying it while he still can."

So that was why I put recovery in "".

Hello vividXX,

Your boyfriend has a good chance of recovery, providing that he really wants sobriety and is not just going through a programme to satisfy a legal requirement. Time will tell if he is serious about it and it is then that you will have important decisions to make regarding your future together.