I have a day today where I will be working all day.  I made that happen, I accepted that reality.  My thoughts on working the whole day, my financial instinct knowing working all day is better than working not at all in a day, and me having nothing else to do really, are all in play, today.  

I like the part in the big book of Alcoholics Anonymous where it suggests that to start the day, through prayer, we ask that God direct our thinking to be free from self-pity, dishonest motives, and self-seeking behavior.  

If not spiritual, and if not in a good attitude, my mind can be a self-pity, poor me, producing factory.  That can make me forget all the blessings I have in life and the little things like how easy my job really is if I just have a service orientated unselfish attitude.  

Honesty in preparing for the day is important.  Why am I working?  I am working to be a contributing member of society, I wasn't so great at that when in love with alcohol.  When am I working is a tough one, because it is the whole day, but when I'm honest and accept that it is the whole day because that business has the need for someone to be there the whole day, it turns into more of a duty thing, like God is asking me to do that as a duty, and it is just one day, one day at a time, and like I said, a lot of the times it's not even really work, and I'm really blessed to have the job that I do.  

The "whole day", and the temptation to get upset about that, is directly linked to the self-seeking part of the prayer and how it is important I do not self-seek in my work life, if I want to maintain a sobriety that makes life easier and joyful.  The immature person inside of me wants to only do things for himself the "whole day" which I admit, isn't a bad idea on days off, or when getting a break from working, but if one has a duty, that is linked to a God and he or she, committing to a persona of being able minded and reliable, then doing that the whole day, is something to have genuine pride over, I think.  

So instead of me not praying to remind myself that negative thoughts over everything else is the only way to go, and life sucks, I can pray, be reminded that there is a way where I can understand that suffering is life, and to suffer through labor is very character building and great for a long run.  If my mind cannot help but produce an ideology that work is suffering and work is not worthy of producing happiness, I can ask that my experience include a new belief that work isn't suffering and work is an opportunity to be spiritual, if done with a good attitude and idea that to work is to be dutiful.  The day doesn't have to suck just because my producing of self-pity is telling me I won't get my self-serving ways today.  

What is the great fear?  The great fear is that something bad is going to happen by working the whole day.  So let's check that to see if it just isn't my ego trying to trick me into sabotaging this great day, as it has known to be devious and spiteful of this recovery process in the past.  

Working the whole day is going to factually earn me money all day.  Working the whole day is going to factually give me opportunities to help others the whole day.  Working the whole day is going to keep me busy so I won't be thinking deviously or spite filled all day, in an unserving and problematic fashion, so again, ego, how is working the whole day going to make for a bad day?  To back that up, when I do work the whole day, after the day I feel great, I might be exhausted or ready for bed, but nevertheless I feel the real feelings of accomplishment, my ego and alcoholism aren't always the biggest fans of because both know their needs won't be fulfilled if I am doing God's duties of serving others for him, so it's a tough find, but me having any negative thoughts about work, at all, are always produced by an ego that quite doesn't know everything, and alcoholism, bred and born out of that same ego.  

If working the whole day wasn't a plan from God, the opportunity to do so wouldn't have been a reality.  It's going to be all good, and when I believe that and commit to it, life just takes off like a rocket each and every time.  

I'll do the best I can, be as humble and helpful as I can, and know that I don't have to be something other than that, and if something inside of me is pulling me away from that ideology, it should be ignorned and just accepted as a non-influential portion of my psychology that I can be and that I do have the power to accept as unhelpful and just there.  There is no law that negative thoughts inside one's mind cannot be seen as unhelpful and there only to be helpful in the practicing of ignoring certain things detrimetal to progress or a joy filled experience.  I can have a good attitude, I can be a normal person, just working in a normal 24 hours with no drama, no need for "me" all while being productive and helpful. 

I don't know about you all, but once upon a time I could not do that, it was so foreign to me, to not think of one's self all the time, and to not bitch and complain about everything, was impossible.  I have to thank AA for this suggestion because it taught me that if I believe strong enough, there is nothing in the way of me having a good attitude and helpful spirit all day every day.  If something is in the way it is just a creation of my own thought that life isn't what it is supposed to be, which is usually just me, not wanting to work all the time, like every other person in the world dreams of, but if I see work as an opportunity to be something other than "work" it completely changes the game and makes for more power individually by being less of "something" for others to be "impressed" by, and I'm really loving the idea that real work is making others get what they feel they need. 

When you think of it, we really don't need much in this life.  Oxygen, limbs, eyes, and ears, etc., but our minds tell us we need so much more, and checking that same mind with questions like "do you really need that?" when fighting to have our ways, sometimes even willing to hurt each other for them, kind of is ridiculous, so really to be grateful is one need I can commit to and some how gratitude has the power to just completely exterminate all that other B.S. about "I want this" and "I want that".  

Have a great day.