I make sure I have some very appetizing non-alcoholic beverages to substitute with. For example I will have Perrier mixed with cranberry juice and still put it in a wine glass so I don't feel like I am missing anything.

I agree with forest. My first cocktail party that I attended in my sobriety was my wifes office party and people knew me to be a drinker. I had more then a few people ask what I was drinking and I said "fizzy water and lime" and I was pleasantly surprised that this caused a few to follow suit. NOT ONE person asked why I was not drinking. Most people just don't care, and usually the ones who do care are the ones who are self conscious and maybe have a problem themselves.

It is also kinda fun to notice with some of the bartenders at these events and at actual bars, that the bartenders will give me a noticeable acknowledgement when I order my fizzy and lime. It seems like they get worn thin worrying about overserving obviously drunk patrons and maybe worrying about being part of that person not getting home okay, or maybe hurting some other innocent victim in another car.

I've been invited to a Halloween party. All drinking buddies of mine. I'm not going. No explanation needed. I can't put myself in a situation of alcohol. I won't. I dk what I'll do down the road as drinking is a culture in Montana, like guns and four wheel drives. And I figure I've certainly par taken in the culture.......not willing to die for it. So I'm avoiding social events with alcohol.

Hello Guinevere19,

The first things that are required in my opinion are a recognition of what alcohol does to you and a willingness to do whatever it takes in order to address the problem, both in the long term and short term.

If you have found that in the past a glass of wine has led to many more and you were unwilling or unable to control your drinking or to stop one you start, then you may have to face the reality that you cannot drink at all, not under any circumstances. If you choose to ignore this reality you will probably be facing some very bad times ahead.

If you do accept that you cannot drink then you can start looking at how to achieve long term sobriety. In many cases this involves a fundamental change in the way of thinking and a ditching of some old habits. If you are willing to embrace this new thinking then you will find that you can go practically anywhere without fear of drinking. You may need outside help in order to achieve this new outlook and AA is one possibility.

You can put your commitment to the test by your willingness to forego some short term rewards such as being at the office party, in favour of a better future life. You have been sober for a brief period of time and I fear that being around alcohol at a party would put you in great danger of drinking again. I would give it a miss.

If you do decide to go to the party there are some common sense ideas to bear in mind. The first thing that you need is an exit plan so that you can leave at any time and you are not stuck there waiting for transport. If you have a friend at the party who is not drinking, stick to her or him and you wont seem to be out of place. Always have a soft drink within reach and dont leave your drink unattended. When someone asks why you are not drinking you dont have to give a long explanation as it is your business any excuse will do.

Are you committed to sobriety and a better future? Good luck and let us know how it goes.

I am a Perrier drinking too. Turn down the drinks and you will be glorious after you make it through this hurdle. Hugs

So the party was last night and I made it through without drinking. I had a great time even without alcohol. I don't think I would go to parties hosted by former drinking buddies or anything like that (at least not yet) but I still feel pretty good about myself. Thanks for all the suggestions!