Beth -
Good that you are back. I noticed that a statement you made was incomplete. You said: " I think part of the problem is that nothing really "bad" has happened." you need to add a "yet" to the end of it.
I sat out there for a whole lot of years thinking that my drinking didn't harm anyone. It wasn't till I got sober that I could see the damage I left behind. It's taken a few years to clean up the emotional mess that I created while drinking.
So nothing bad has happened. There is always the possibility that there's a couple of someones out there that may not agree with you...

Hugs,
Dennis

I so agree with Denny. Yet. You keep it up and you too can get there.
I hope you don't. I hope you get serious and recognize this for the deadly and progressive disease that it is.

Hi Beth!

We just keep playing those games with ourselves, don't we? I've been doing it for decades.

I'm not sure if not feeling bad about it means there's something wrong with that. I am beginning to think that beating ourselves up and feeling bad about it makes the whole problem worse - makes us go back to the drink.

I'm thinking what they've always said in AA - we drink because we're an alcoholic, that is what we do. That is what alcoholics do, drink for no reason, drink for every reason, just because we love alcohol and we're alcoholics.

Deogee, I totally agree. I really really like to drink. It's really really bad for me. I know I shouldn't do it but sometimes I just give in. (notice I didn't say give up)

I'm doing so much better this year than I have in the past. I'm proud of the amount of time I've been sober. It hasn't been a perfect journey so far but it's mine and I'm good with it.

I've been doing a lot better myself. I think a lot about displacement - what I'm not doing when I'm drinking. That's where the 'bad' is for me. Also I've noticed that hangovers come easier with age. There's no question that I am much much sharper in business when it has been two days since I've had anything to drink (or next to nothing).

I completely understand how you feel. The problem is I'll go weeks, months & nothing "bad" happens. And then it does! And by then it's too late. The damage has been done. Then I beat myself up and wonder how the hell I could have gotten back to that point again after doing so good for so long!! Thank god I haven't gotten a DUI, killed anyone, killed myself, lost my job or family.....but as everyone on here says, it's a progressive disease. I can see how it's progressed in the last 10 years of my life and I wonder how I let that happen. It's sad really. It's only now after I've caused enough emotional damage to myself and my family that I finally see it. There's nothing harder than hearing someone else tell u they think u have a problem. We r so good at denying it for so long.

I don't want to wait for something bad to happen before I seek help. If u'r anything like me u'v probably caused more emotional damage to people than u realize. I remember the saying "people will forget what u say, they will forget what u do, but they will never forget how u made them feel." I can't believe how much I've hurt the people I love the most. Don't wait for something bad to happen. We r here to support u!!

I have been following your posts, Beth, and I have to say I recognize many similarities between you and me and the nature of our drinking (from what I can tell).
I can tell you that it WILL get worse. That's a promise from alcohol. I LOVE to drink, too. In the MOMENT. But that's my problem--I am an impulsive person who lives in the moment and needs to learn to think a bit ahead.
Sober now 5 days--why? Because I owe it to myself a fighting chance. Drinking is a life and death proposition. It always is...even during the nights I don't wet my bed and wake up depressed. Even when I am on a total high from my brandy and vodka and feeling great. It still is a life and death situation.
Stay strong and know there are millions like you and me coping with the same challenges.

Dont' worry...if you are alcoholic and you keep drinking something bad surely will happen.
For me it was the slow but steady realization that I was wasting so much of a beautiful life either hung over and feeling awful, or constrained by my drinking (didnt even realize how constrained till i was many months sober and got back into doing things I LOVE)...
It doesnt need to be a DUI,killing someone in a drunk driving episode, liver disease, mouth or throat cancer.....or anything else as overtly tragic. Though those things too are possible when we keep drinking.
Choice is yours.

That is the way to do it. "Tomorrow Who Knows."Stay in the now from moment to moment. Don't worry about yesterday or tomorrow.

Thanks for posting. It reminds me the slippery slope that I can go down so very quickly. I can't explain it but once I was sober for long enough ( when I got far enough from the tractor beam of the Death Star ) I finally got how much better life was sober.

Just try to give it a go for 90. The other thing that helped was to meet with other ppl like me. A room full of alcoholics makes me feel normal. And that is all I want to be is normal.

Prayers for you. You can do it, I believe in you

1is2many

Hi JustBeth1975

I am glad to hear you are doing well and feeling good about minimizing the harm alcohol is doing.