Have you sought any sort of therapy for yourself? Also, if you realize drinking is not the solution, the why continue? God will deliver you, but not until you make an effort to help yourself, and that help comes from sustaining from alcohol.

peace!

I hope you are tired of it klu. What you're doing at the moment will effect your daughters. They depend on you for protection and guidance so they too can grow. Klu it's almost impossible to overcome Alcoholism by yourself. I needed support from others, truth in friendship and accountability. I'd encourage you to seek out and participate in a recovery program. Build a support crew in your corner, and take action to change the path your on. It can be done, and you can do it, but it will take effort. We're here to support you.

what they said... welcome here.. now, I can relate to the whole "escape" and de-stress method regarding kids but I found that the more I tried to "de-stress" I got more anxious and depressed and overwelmed.. Especially the next day when I felt like crap and could't remember what I had said or did while daughter was in "my care". She looks at me differently now.. She knows I am ok even when I am "stressed". She knows that I am sober and that no matter how bad of a day I am having, her mommy isn't going to get drunk over it.

thank you guys. I havent drank since saturday, but am looking forward to a cold beer and a good book this evening. I dont want it.. but it's like i am not comfortable in my own skin. my girls have never seen me drunk. they are always asleep before then. but i figure the day is coming.. i dont want to drink i just dont know what else to do. and i dont have a sitter to go to support groups.

Kluvswt
You mentioned you hate drinking beer and then in reply #5 you said you are looking forward to a cold beer.
Confusion and denial is a part of this disease.
I'm not saying you're an alchie....You just sound confused and in denial.