It sounds like you don't have enough emotional support. AA is a great place to find that support. You can google meetings in your area.

God Bless

Thanks. That could help. You are right. I have no support. Is drinking a lot a couple of nights a week a problem? No one even knows I do it. It doesn’t affect work or anything really but I know it can’t be good.

It could be down the road if it isn't already, especially since you are using it to self medicate your depression. We tend to minimize because we don't want to believe we have a drinking problem.

You should talk to your doctor and he/she can evaluate you and give you more information and suggest treatment options, if needed. I highly recommend.

God Bless

Thanks for the insight

Hi Broken, emotional support is not the reason to join/attend AA. I would agree with talking to your doctor initially.
Have you tried to stop drinking at all? What was the result? How did you feel? What justification did you give yourself for drinking again? Did you drink out of boredom or to suppress some hurt from the past or recent? Or did you drink to overcome a compulsion? Do you have any control over when and how much you drink?

Hello Broken1103,

Drinking a lot a couple of nights a week is not necessarily a problem on its own but neither is it a healthy habit. The fact that you are drinking to escape or to deal with depression escalates the danger level to the flashing red light territory. The problem with this sort of drinking, and I know this from my own experience, is that a couple of nights become three or four nights and eventually it leads to drinking every night and indeed, every day.

I would suggest that you stop completely for a few months and see how that goes. If you can do that successfully and you are not unhappy with your sober life, then it would probably be fine to drink socially in the future, but not to go back to how you are drinking now. If on the other hand, you struggle to stop or you are not happy with being sober, then you are in different territory and may well require outside help, for instance, going to AA meetings.

If you are suffering from depression, it would be wise to consult professionals in that field and to make some changes to your life and way of thinking.

Drinking was my coping mechanism. I liked the way it made me feel (or not feel). Problem is that it is a drug, alcohol is addictive and once I realized I was pickling myself I went and found some help. See i was/ am fiercly independent... hence the reason alcohol worked so well.. but the act of going to a meeting and asking for help was the watershed moment for me. So many other ppl were able to live sober after having the addiction, I saw hope. That was June 9,12. I am now alive and living again... live is a new adventure.
1-2

Thank you everyone for your advice. I would say that I can stop if I want to but the sad part is that I enjoy it because it does take the hurt away if only for a while. I guess that is the problem. Maybe if I can address what is causing me distress I won’t feel the need to drink. Right now I can’t say I am physically dependent but I can say I am moving toward emotional dependence. It’s dangerous indeed. I have done this type of thing on and off for years now. I will have some issue and drink a lot. The issue gets better or disappears and I stop doing it. Lately it just seems worse. I need to find another outlet. I do think dealing with my depression is key because I am self medicating. I know that much. I need to stop...

When you stop drinking the hurt will get worse, as will your temporary depression. Alcohol causes you to 'feel' depressed when you stop using it, so be wary of that. You will feel ill at ease, irritable, restless and discontent. You will need to address the things that cause you problems and most likely from what you have said you will require the assistance of a counsellor.
The void that was once 'filled' by drinking will need to be occupied by an alternative activity, meditation, sport or some other positive action. Be wary of self-pity, why me and substituting alcohol with food, sex, gambling, cleaning or any other obsessive behaviour.
Sounds to me like you need a 12 step program my friend, God bless.

Hi Broken. Are you aware that alcohol is a depressant? It cancels out antidepressants. I've been there, done that. Diagnosed with Major Clinical Depression with anxiety. The alcohol which I used initially to help the anxiety ended up ramping up the anxiety. When I stopped anesthesizing with vodka, the anxiety was gone in a relatively short time(2 1/2 yrs) with the help of a good psychologist and the 12 Steps of Alcoholics Anonymous.

With sobriety, antidepressants work much better. I said for many years "I could stop drinking anytime I want to' I just don't want to. In your heart of hearts, only you can say if you have a problem or not. Take good care and welcome to the group!


.

At some point, after I went through treatment, my doctor put me on Pristiq which was one of the newer anti depressant medications at the time it was prescribed to me and it seemed to help me alot. A few years ago, I stopped taking it. I felt like I just didn't need it anymore. My feeling turned out to be right. I really think you should talk to your doctor but that's up to you.

God Bless