It is a year today that my father passed. He had Cirrhosis, Hep C, and ultimately died from Liver Cancer. He drank my whole life. I remember seeing him when I was a child and him telling me he would come and see me next week and I would wait and he would never come. I got used to it but I still would hope that he came. Then sometimes he would just show up, drunk of course and my mother would put him out. Although I understood why my mother did it, that was my father and I wanted him. My mother got married when I was 6 and it was a very unhealthy relationship. It wasn't really physical abuse but more mental. I always had anger towards my father because I felt that I should have been important enough to him for him to go to my step-father and say"She is my daughter and you will not treat her like that. But instead 10 years past in that house and he never once came there. I began really drinking at 15. I actually had my first drink at 8 but did not really start until 15. We actually ended up drinking together by the time I was 18. It wasn't the relationship that I wanted with my father but at least I was with him. I could lie to myself and tell myself we had a relationship. I remember when I was 21 and I was getting ready for my baby shower and my grand-mother came up to me and told me that my father was in the hospital because he had been shot in the face.He was out all night drinking and put himself in a dangerous situation. I'm hysterical. I get to the hospital and he is looking at me like what is wrong with you and I am looking at him like do you know what you just put me through. Thank God the bullet went in his cheek somehow and did not do to much damage. He still didn't think about me. What he was doing to his child. Fast forward 8 years later when I gave birth to my daughter, he and my boyfriend come 4 and a half hours late to pick me and my daughter up from the hospital drunk off there asses. I knocked my boyfriend in the face. Security had to be called and they were escorted out. I was so hurt because I felt like my father should have said if we want man up for you, you have me to depend on, but he never did. He even made jokes about it. I got sober the day after me daughter's first birthday. My daddy stopped drinking almost three years ago and then was diagnosed with Liver Cancer. For the first time I felt like he was getting to know me and I him. He was my go to guy for everything. He even was establishing a relationship with my children. I got a glimpse of that father I always wanted and then it was taken away. Alcohol cheated me out of so much. I know some of you are struggling really bad right now with getting sober and staying sober. Please don't let this thing called addiction cheat you and the people who love you and need you out of what you deserve and what they deserve. I know it is hard but please dig deep inside and find the courage because you can't fix the damage and hurt that you have caused when you are gone.Make your time on this Earth count. I know this was very long but thank you for taking the time to read this.