Alcoholism Support Group
Alcoholism is the continued consumption of alcoholic beverages, even when it is negatively affecting your health, work, relationships and life. If you think alcohol is causing you to lose control, it's time to seek help. Our group is a safe place to vent, check in, get back up if you fall, and reach sobriety.
Today is my friend's birthday. The plan was that we were all going to meet at this restaurant. I figured I'd be safe because it was just dinner. Sure, people would order drinks but it's not like we'd be at a bar or anything. Then today I found out it's a bar/restaurant and I realized that I just can't go. It's one thing to go to dinner but to be in a bar? No. I'm too early in my sobriety to be around alcohol. And I sure as hell can't hang around a bar!! I really want to see everyone but it's just not healthy for me. Last time I did that I got so drunk I almost wrecked my entire life. It just sucks because I hate that I have to skip social events but I'm learning to put myself first. My sobriety is more important. In order to stay sober I'm going to have to give up certain things and unfortunately some people. I'm going to have to keep myself busy today because now all I keep thinking about is sitting at the bar and drinking beer. -Sighs..
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Dick Van Dyke’s path to sobriety was a turning point in his life and career. Here’s what happened:How He Got SoberStruggles and Realization: Van Dyke began drinking as a teenager, largely to cope with shyness and social anxiety. Alcohol made him feel more comfortable in social settings, but over time, his drinking spiraled out of control. By his mid-40s, he recognized that he had an addictive...
1is2many
Although you may not see it that way right now, this is an important milestone on the road to recovery. It would have been easy to cave in and come up with all sorts of excuses but you have done the hard thing, and the right thing.
I had a similar situation shortly after I stopped drinking. It was one of those ‘must attend’ family events and not turning up would not be easily forgiven. Although my extended family are not big drinkers, I knew that there would be plenty of free alcohol available. I was unsure about what to do because by that time I had come to accept that I had to stop drinking, but yet I knew that I would be easily tempted. A wise man at an AA meeting said: “If it was me, I would not go” and I followed his suggestion. Some people were not happy as they saw it as a deliberate snub, but they soon got over it, and more importantly, I stayed sober.
If you keep on your present course, and copy what has worked for other people, you will come to a way of thinking that will allow you to go to any sort of social event without even thinking about alcohol. Sure, there will be some friends that may need to be dropped, but others will take their place. There is a nice piece in the Big Book (Alcoholics Anonymous), pages 84-85, known as the Step 10 Promises that tells how people’s attitude to alcohol will change as the result of the first ten Steps. I would not have believed those promises after I stopped drinking but I certainly believe in them today, based on my own experience.
Instead of looking at missing your friend’s birthday party as some sort of loss or negative event, look at it instead as a victory and a stepping stone to a great future. Picture a life ahead where alcohol doesn’t bother you one way or another and where you have the confidence and self-belief to do anything that you want to do. There will be some sacrifices to make along the way but the results will certainly make it worthwhile.
P.S. Keep with those meetings and good luck with reading out your letter on Monday. You have come a long way already and the sky is the limit for the future.
It does get easier. And thank you for your share.
It’s OK to have those feelings and the important thing is that they will pass. Sometimes you just have to sit it out for a while.
People do care about you but it’s far more important to care about yourself. If you got telephone numbers from any of those ladies at the meetings, this would be a good time to give them a call. You can also communicate privately with friends here on DS. Maybe nobody will have the answers but just telling someone what is bothering you often helps.
I hope that you will soon be feeling better.
I have observed the same behaviour in people at times. Although I am not a religious person, I do go to church on Sunday morning, not always to pray I have to admit. Sometimes I just observe. Although the service is the same, each church has a particular sequence of doing things that is slightly different from other churches. What I find funny is that when there are a few outsiders in the place and they do something different, such as standing up at the wrong time, all of the locals (except me of course) will follow the same wrong action – they follow the crowd.
You don’t have to follow the crowd. You can be a leader rather than a follower but that will mean going against the popular opinion at times. Your friends and your mother probably mean well but they don’t know what harm going to that place can do to you. They do not define who you are, so be a leader and do what is right for you.
Sighs.. well.. at least I didn't drink..
So much greatness here. While you had to endure a hellish day/night.
But you can always look back and say what a shitty night and I DIDNT DRINK!
You also cemented a friendship with an AA friend!
This will all be distant. Great job. And keep posting in here when you hit this hell!
It is really great to learn that you have come through that difficult time without drinking. The experience will make you stronger for the future.
I just read the piece below on another site and it might help you.
What To Do...
When Things Get Blue
When nobody seems to love you
And trouble's everywhere,
When skies turn dark above you
And joy turns to despair,
When everything just falls apart,
And no one seems to care,
Jus' look down deep inside your heart,
And know that God is there.
by Wiley