All part of the changes and process - write your feelings out - go stand in front of a mirror and talk them out - every day is not euphoric and these days shall pass, just don't drink - or the starting over part will bring this feeling again, so deal with it now and you won't have to deal with it then.

Hugs and peace to you!

hey hang in there its a rollercoaster of unexplainable feelings, i realised how emotional i was in the first week and how much i was trying to keep boxed up by drinking, im on day 39 and it feels a hell of alot better than before but i dont wanna jinx it by sayin things like that so early call someone if your feeling really bad people understand how you feel im sure x

It is wild! Feelings and thoughts and physical sensations come seemingly out of nowhere. I've been sober since early fall '09 (apoligies to those who keep better records). The wildness evens out a bit with the weeks but still pops up more than I'm used to. Of course, I used to drown all those feelings with red wine.

Anna we have talked this thru before. You know what has to take place. The weekend is here. You are setting yourself up. So what are you gonna do different this time that you have not done in the past?

Camp out with your sponsor. Do anything but drink.

This is the garbage that happens in early sobriety. It never is easy... it sucks but it gets 'different' - as in "This too shall pass"....

I hated hearing that! But it takes staying sober and living through it.... for things to get better mentally.

Boy you sound like me 90ish days back....you are not unusual. Here are two suggestions given to me. First, don't make any decisions when you are tired, sick, hungry or angry. Second, feel the feelings you are having but know that they too shall pass. The bad feelings will go away....you may experience them many times a day, but you will get through it. Hang in there and send me a note any time.

What you are feeling is sooooo normal. Remember that your brain is still learning how to fire correctly without the alcohol. That's a feeling of suffering for sure but it won't last forever. We are going to have good days and better days with this disease. No matter what, it's always a good day when we aren't drinking. Like you mentioned, I concentrate on having a positive outlook which I channel through my HP via prayer and meditation. You talked about stuffing your feelings.... I think we all do this from time to time especially when we are so overwhelmed. Let's face it, new recovery IS overwhelming. We are learning something new every single day we don't take a drink. So even a positive can be stressful and feel like a negative. We alcoholics aren't a patient bunch and expect instant results. It's good to be aware of this as your disease will use it to help you sabatoge your sobriety. I would talk, talk, and talk somemore about all of the thoughts running through your mind. I mean on the phone with either your sponsor or a friend (AA or not). Pick up that phone. I guarantee you will also be helping the other person. The spirituality of this connection never fails. I'll be happy to give you my phone # to add to your list.

It gets so much better, but you gotta tough this out first. Pray, pray, pray. Sometimes I wished I had a padded room.

Olive, remember what you read about PAWS? Keep that in mind, save it and read it to be reassured that it's normal to feel like ass right now. Don't give in cause you'll have to start all over again. Grin & bear it, call some folks and chat & bitch & vent & yell or cry. Just don't drink and believe in the promise that it WILL GET BETTER beyond your wildest dreams! Hang on love.

howtolive - I just fell down hard because of the same feelings you feel now. I quit drining on Christmas, the day before yesterday I got digustingly drunk. Yeah for me. I feel like worm food. I broke my husband's heart and my own spirit. I call it the switch - bam flick I'm going to have a drink, what the hell. Well, what the hell happened day before last. I have no memory of driving home, or what I may have possibly said to my husband. I woke up around 2am half dressed, panic set in as I tried in vain to remember what happened. Do you know that feeling - is there any worse?

The whole point of my story is just make it one, just one more day, just one, and let tomorrow bring what it brings.

Thanks all. I have never survived sober more than a few days once these feelings set in. No white knuckles yet and I am staving off the obsession. Just feeling miserable. I have to get PAST it this time. I have to be stronger. I am not setting myself up. I don't want to drink. God PLEASE keep the obsession and insanity out of my head. I do not want to drink.

Somebody asked "what are you going to do different".

? well ?

I think GBP has a good point. Can you reply with what you are going to do different. Try, just try.

Anna, Honey......you can come help me clean my house. That ought to work out some frustrations!
Call me if ya wanna sounding board!
Dig the new avatar!
huggelz
Billie

What I am doing differently....

Called someone. Vented. Feel better already.
Planning to go to a mtg at 7am mtg tomorrow.
Driving separately over to bro's house for dinner, so I can leave earlier.

Biggest thing dif is I am still fighting to ward off thoughts about drinking. I am not giving myself permission. I won't entertain the thought. I am trying to remember how bad it would feel to start back at day 1 and how good it will feel to have made it through a tough weekend and have only 2 weeks left until I get a month and once I get a month I will have some momentum. I am reminding myself that I start a BB workshop on Monday. I am going to enjoy a relaxing weekend sober and feel rested.

I want to be sober. I don't want to be drunk. I really am starting to feel better already.

Thanks for asking. Made me think it through.