You picked up the bottle because you are an alcoholic - you have an obsession with alcohol.. Until you remove the obsession, most likely you will continue to have periods of soberity, only to return to drink.

The key is the relieve yourself of the obsession. AA and the 12 steps did that for me. Find something that removes the obsession for you.

It took me realizing I couldnt fight it anymore. I was so tired of gettng beat up that it was almost reason to kill myself. See I couldnt live with Alcohol and I couldnt live without it. It was a madding place to be. I was desperate. I finally just surrendered and decided I couldnt fight it anymore. I had to find other ways to cope and deal with life. It is possible
1is2many

Thanks guys - looking into some options...

Hello LostGirl99,

The insanity of alcoholism is doing the same thing over and over and either expecting a different result or not caring how it ends.

There is no shame in falling, providing that you learn from it. If what you have been doing up until now is not working, try something else.

LG don't be too hard on yourself. I swore off booze many times and "quit" before I really admitted that enough was enough. AA changed everything for me, and I was scared shitless to walk into a meeting. Biggest fear of my life. But it saved me.

Like others said you messed up, but if you learn something it can bve beneficial. My last binge was a relapse and I realized I couldn't do it alone. Like Jeff it was one of the scariest things I did to roll out of bed a day later and drag myself to a meeting. I was ashamed and defeated. AA has saved me. I know it isn't for everyone, but alcoholism is such a big thing you can't do it alone so I would encourage you to find some sort of support.

I am looking into SMART right now - you guys are right, there is no shame in needing help... Thanks again for all the support...

Go to a SMART meeting if they have live meetings in your town; go to AA if they don't. I really needed the in person contact with other drunks when I was getting sober. Still do, and have even more to lose now so I'll take my own advice; and go tonight:-) thank you for sharing.

Hi Lostgirl, Don't beat yourself up over this, and don't give up. If you need the help of SMART or AA, please do get that help. You made it almost 3 weeks!!!! That is a great beginning. With the right help, you can beat the demon. Best wishes to you!!!!!!

Awww Girl! Bummer! Keep trying!

God Bless!

Good for you, getting right back up! Somehow, even when our heads know that we can't drink and that the consequences will be unpleasant at best and disastrous at worst, we "forget" that the result of taking that first drink will always be bad.

I have had many "day ones"... Keep trying and never stop.

Well today I am back up... you only fail when you stop trying... going to a SMART meeting today... Perhaps i just need more tools.... thanks!!! everyone... I love this forum, everyone is always so supportive and it really helps to know that I am not alone.

That's right, LG. You are not alone. We are here for you. We won't give up on you, just don't give up on yourself!!!

I've started back drinking after I quit for awhile, after convincing myself I can be a social drinker. I had to change my thinking. I don't drink. My new mantra. Day 21; wow, 3 weeks of no alcohol. Feeling good!