Sure was mine too Nicky. Like a zoom button on self. Zoom in.. zoom out.

Thanks so much for your post Nikki.
I didn't realise until becoming sober how self centred I was. It is true the more you internalise your thinking the more small problems can become bigger problems in your mind.
I have been learning to rejoin the world through AA and even though it has been only a short period of time I have seen the difference and I have more time for others.....the difficulties that plagued me before are not so disturbing.

At work I am getting used to not being so me focused, and I can see how I am not seen as part of the team. Mostly past of my isolation tactics but self centredness at work has been a big issue for me and I didn't believe it before. Now it is clearly looking me in the face and it aint pretty,

Thanks for the post it is ringing pretty true for me at the moment. I would like to thank AA especially for opening my eyes and helping me not just past drinking but to live a better life.

I like, I like!

Love this post!!!! So true!
Thinking of, helping, putting others first is great medicine!! It certainly has been for me!

Great discussion the bigbook says selfish selfcenterdness is the ROOT of our troubles.Driven by a 100 forms of fear selfpity self-delusion self-seeking.When I treat the problem not the simtums I get better.I realize its not all about me anymore.Its about how i can be of maximum service to GOD and ohters.His will not mine be done.

Yup! Nice post!

Nicky....this is true in my experience as well. The question then is how does one rid themselves of the self-centeredness. It is along with fear and dishonesty the root of the dis-ease of alcoholism?

For me it has taken alot of work....yes the 12 steps of the AA program. Through this my focus has changed, it is now on my connection with a power greater than myself and on doing those things that keep my spirit clean.

At first, I thought that being unselfish meant....doing for others even if it was harmful to self. It has taken me time for the wisdom and the ability to receive guidence from within to answer some of these questions and still there are times when selfishness, fear and dishonesty creep in. The difference today is I am able to recognize it quickly before it snowballs into something totally unmanagable and take corrective action.

But I think as long as we don't give up, don't beat ourselves up and persevere in doing the next right thing....progress is going to produce growth.

Ree

Yes great post, thanks nick and thanks to the wise ol D.L.

I'm considering self-centredness is at the botttom of my "bf''s?" struggles. I joined this group to understand him and now he's got me in a depressed state as he says he's not sure he can do this! A relationship! wtf he started something and now doesn't know what he wants! This is a huge problem for me. I went to an AA meeting with him Sun night and now I got doubts. I don't know if i can be his gf. he is so obsessed with AA. It is his life. I dunno, just needed to say this...sorry all, somethings just best shared! (thanks for reading)

No offense rattles but it seems that he's not the only one with an obsession.

In order to not "let him" depress you, maybe you could get help for your issues in order to pick someone more suitable to your sensibilities. And next time, take it a little slower.

Thx Niky, today is one of study. I haven't read where I am to give advice except to friends. Then it should be completely honest and direct, Siddhartha said that. No cutely worded back hand comments.

Life is suffering....I admit I tend to put the alcoholic first. I do still have anger when I see needless suffering put on the drunk. I am not perfect. In this age of interventions on TV, numerous ads for various programs and the availability of the internet, I am sickened by seemly intelligent people acting clueless and neglecting others. They need truth and a course of action to reduce a loved one's suffering.

Evidently I will be rude to get the truth across at the seemly end of a drunks life. I will speak out against cruelty, whether to animals or active alcoholics who are YELLOW.

Dhammapada will be my study today....and I get to play WOW.
I think I am ill suited to comment gently when.... well no need.
Good reply #11,you do it so well

Namaste

Very true

Pat, what you call "being rude to help an alcoholic at the end of their life" is hogwash. You are downright insulting to just about anyone when you feel like it. That's not honesty, that's hogwash.

I made a suggestion. Nothing back handed about it.

"Namaste"......

I thought comment #11 was what I should strive for. I apologize that you thought it was at you.
I would have probably been too direct and called cruel.

My whole thinking is still about that guy who is turning yellow in front of his wife

I addressed the post to Nicki

I truly apologize that you don't believe me and it really saddens me.
all I can say is it adamantly was not meant to you

if it was...I would take you on directly, promise....but you give great advice.
Please let us put this behind us

Actually 'Alone', you are not alone, I don't know either. I don't know s...(insert brown stuff here)!

I used to put everyone before myself. To my detriment. It took therapy to teach me how to have a healthy ego. To put myself first in a healthy way. Not to think always of myself and not at all of others, but to always stay self aware and self focused. To a healthy degree. Done just right, it allows me to be there for others in the way I can best help them.