step 6 wasnt any of that in my exp it was 2 questions from the bb chap into action "am I now willing to allow god to remove everything i admited was obgectionable and 2 was is God powerful enough to remove it? ". I answered both questions and went to step 7 and did step 7 by saying the prayer. To me i keep it that simple exactly as our founders put it in the BB been working now for over 8yrs

Because it diminishes our usefulness to others. If I am sitting around selfishly kicking the dirt in my own head I am not much good to anyone else.

This isn't about changing regret or remorse into gratitude, speaking just from my experience, it is about gaining a new life with a new sense of purpose.

Phil is absolutely spot on that this is a very SIMPLE program. People don't drink or use again because they don't work the steps perfectly, they drink or use again because they don't work the steps. Keep moving. Don't get too hung up on this. Our intructions are to go home and get quiet for an hour, decide whether I am willing, if not I ask God for help. After you do your seventh step prayer, whip out your pencil and paper and start making the 8th step list. It's just a list. You're more than halfway home.

I think it's fantastic that you want to be thorough with this, but the book just asks us to get it done.

Kudos to you for getting off your rear end and working the steps.

:)

You the man Phil.

Yea, but if I don't go through the process of intelectualizing it, and working hard at defining every bit of minutia, then I will not be able to use my compulsive over rationalization to avoid really surrendering. How in the world will it work if I am not in control!!!!

Hon, I really don't see remorse as a character defect. It shows other how badly you feel for what you did. Just don't feed off of regrets. You will end up hurting yourself. Just keep working on it.

Yup,

A while back I seperated regret from remorse. Regret cromes from shame and a lack of humility, Remorse is a healthy part of greiving the losses.

Thanks for the insites. I am just learning about these defects, and like you say, could not quite get to how remorse is a defect.

MY rule of thumb is that any feeling or idea that makes me a legend in my own mind is a character defect.

You may be over complicating this. An alcoholic would never do that ! LOL
But almost all character defects and the seven deadlies themselves have a purpose.
No lust, no speices
No anger, no ability to defend yourself
No jealousy, let your spouses new lover move in.
It's just that we tend to put the defects in hyper drive.

Remorse ---- uncomfortable feelings from a sense of guilt and regret for wrongs done.

If guilt is a character defect then remorse is a character defect also. Anything that is not good for me must be bad for me, therefore a defect of character. See page 76, para. 1, lines 3 - 5 in taking a 6th Step. A complete description of the step is found on pages 75-76. So I guess I have to agree with others here.........Phil....you are the Man.

sorry, but I didn't know step six took work. I was simply hand in hand with my sponsor asking my maker to remove my BS.

Remorse leads to self pity and low self esteem. Analyzes Paralyzes is also a defect to watch. One day at a time....live in the day not in the future as it lease to assumption which is another defect.

it is a character defect because "someone" told you it is.

i never followed "steps" ..............my own reasons...............i seems to me that you have found heart. that is all that matters. you are taking your own steps. keep true to self......always question and never expect an answer.

remorse?........is no ones business but your own........it limits the judges to self :)

LMAO nemo.....we must have the same mirror...........................

Hi Choose, for me the 'work' was done in step 4 and 5. That's where I identified what were my character defects, and my sponsor and I did as thorough a job with what I had at the time with those steps. Step 6 and 7 were done quickly. The remorse you speak of I identified as a lot of guilt. Step 7 was asking for that to be removed.

Life is an ongoing process, and they weren't kidding when they said more would be revealed. The steps give you a good foundation to deal with other thoughts and feelings as they arise the longer you travel in sobriety. It's called 'Into Action' so don't dwell too much. Listen to your sponsor and their guidance from the suggestions in the BB. Be willing and keep moving forward.

remorse can keep you from living a happy life. remorse is in there with guilt. We need to forgive ourselves and move on. Too much remorse is a negative and destructive force. Be well and take care.