Alcoholism Support Group

Alcoholism is the continued consumption of alcoholic beverages, even when it is negatively affecting your health, work, relationships and life. If you think alcohol is causing you to lose control, it's time to seek help. Our group is a safe place to vent, check in, get back up if you fall, and reach sobriety.

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Reflecting...I am an uptight Ahole!

Sly
Sly

Looking back, I can see many of my mistakes. I have severe OCD Pure "O" harm and suicide, google pure "O" it's the worst OCD a person can have, there are also other themes, I may also have Relationship Pure "O". If you are interested in psychology and don't know what it is, check it out. I'm a dumpster fire! You will see how much of a train wreck I really am and why. I worry about everything. I am always keyed up and on edge. Anyone can make me angry and defensive if they hit the wrong nerve. I'm like a balloon and when I pop I explode or implode, however you choose to look at it. There are so many things that can trigger me. I have a constant stream of "What if's" running through my mind constantly stressing me out. No wonder I self-medicate. I'm terrified when I'm not sleeping. It's not an excuse, I just realized why I am so uptight! I don't realize it when it's happening but I'm cosntantly worrying. I'm on meds, but I have never really found anything that takes the edge off. Realizing this is big for me, I have a counselor who will soon be reading this. I need to know how to shut it off! I use alcohol to numb my intrusive thoughts of worthlessness. I knew I have OCD Pure "O", Anxiety, Depression and Tourette's, but this just hit me like a ton of bricks. I have too much alone time and I put myself in a never ending trance of worry and depression! The problem is I haven't found the off switch! I'm messed up! Can anyone relate? Ted

jeffneedshelp
jeffneedshelp
I have never battled depression but I’ve definjrely battled assholism. My step 4 was a long and healthy one. My step 9 freed me.
Sly
Sly
I'm on day 4 no alcohol, I am an awesome QUITTER, I need help staying that way though.
seaQ
seaQ
Another day dry, good! Keep it up! & Keep looking for that off switch Sly... you'll find it. Try to develop some relaxation strategies. My niece got me a little lighted salt block oil diffuser, and I put on music and relax. I get pretty immersed in building my music playlists too.
Community Leaderbobinmaine
bobinmaine
I use to be so proud of my character defects and was unwilling to let them go. I hadn't suffered quite long enough but eventually, I came to a point where I had enough. Long story short, the 12 steps saved me from me! Meditation also helps. In the beginning I thought it was useless so I stopped for awhile but a little voice in my head told me to try it again so I did. It took alot of practice before I began to see concrete results but in the end was well worth it.

God Bless
1is2many
1is2many
I am what I tell myself I am. I used to constantly be saying I’m a loser, I’m gonna die, I feel SO bad. It was a inner self degrading talk and it was debilitating. I actually now realize I was drinking to escape from ME.

Today I make an attempt to change the record I’m playing. I turn on some music and when I’m getting ready for the day , I make an effort to tell myself , I’m ok today. I will try to make my day a good one. I find that the mind is powerful and it will listen to the things I tell it.

Sure I get into fear, that’s basically what it boils down to, throughout the day at times. I just take deep breaths and tell myself it’s ok and be calm.

Tell yourself things are ok, it is ok. Life is waiting, go out and get it.

1is2many
Sly
Sly
Here is the textbook definition of Pure "O" OCD.. https://www.intrusivethoughts.org/ocd-symptoms/pure-ocd
Sly
Sly
Bobinmaine, I am learning to meditate. I have it down pretty good for getting to sleep. I have an Android App called Insight Timer. It has tons of guided meditations. I am a beginner, but I can get to sleep in less than an hour now. I used to keep myself up all night in thoughts. Meditation is a viable treatment, but takes time to get it right. Glad you mentioned it. Others can benefit from learning to meditate.
Sly
Sly
Textbook definition of addiction and OCD...
https://www.intrusivethoughts.org/addiction/
Community Leaderbobinmaine
bobinmaine
Sly yes! That was how I got started. I used meditation as a way to get to sleep and after practice, I was able to get to sleep within 5 minutes. There are many other benefits to doing it, as well. You will see for yourself, the more you do it! Studies clearly show that regular meditation significantly reduces levels of stress!

God Bless
finallyawakenow
finallyawakenow
I’m ok. Your ok. We’re all ok. And if you believe that I’ll tell you another one. There is a reason for being who we are. I haven’t figured it out yet so don’t ask me. What I do know is that the mystery is worth checking into. And meditation can be a guide. Showing us how perfectly flawed we are. So stop and breathe and take another look. Keep the days coming.
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