Sorry - not in AA, but I hate being preached at. Christians freak me out. To each their own, though. What can ya do?

I'm fairly new in AA myself, but have never heard a member yet put down the 12&12, or claim to be recovered. I would probably try to get into different groups if some are available.

In my humble opinion the Big Book used in conjunction with the 12&12 will give you a good shot at recovery. Some say the if a cancer victim is cancer free for 1 year they are considered recovered. So after a period of not drinking one is recovered. I was taught by a sponsor with 38 years that it really doesn't matter what you call yourself so long as you remember the thought for the day in the 24 hour book of June 8. Once an alcoholic always an alcoholic. I was told that alcoholism is an incurable disease and we can only recover from it one day at a time. Some on this site will shove the Big Book down your throat, some will saw recovered and site the chapter in the BB it comes out of, and some will put you down for wanting to get away from the meeting you mentioned. What does your sponsor saw? Don't have one? Get one. He will help you with this situation. There are a lot of ppl on this site and each one will probably give you a different opinion. Remember opinions are like as-holes, everyone's got one. That's way you need a sponsor. Separate the truth from the fiction.

I cannot give you advice on anything. All Ican do is share what I have learned. I know I do not like to be preached at or talked down to. This reminds me of when I was a child and we moved around. We were sent to whichever church was cloest so we could walk there. I have been to a lot of deno,inations and each one said the other was wrong[even though they were all based on the same book] No wonder I was so confused. I do not believe that I could stay sober without the 12 and12 or the Big Book or a sponser or meetings and the wonderful people willing to Share their strength and hope. I hope I always remember that I am just one drink away from a drunk. I got drunk everytime I drank, from the first to the last. So I feel that I can never drink again. I guess that makes me in recovery. I think if i were you I would try to find some new meetings to go to. each person has different kinds of spiritual awakenings. To me is just realizing the world does not revolve around me. This is called humility. Several things happened a long the way to this knowledge. You have already reached out for help. That is a giant step, whether in the Big Book or the 12/12. God bless

Well, I don't think the term "recovered" verses "recovering" matter as much as the meaning. If they think recovered means it's ok to drink again, they're wrong. Even the metaphor with cancer patients, a year without the disease may be considered recovered, but that doesn't mean it can't come back.

I'm comfortable with being a recovering alcoholic. If some people want to consider themselves recovered after working all 12 steps, that's fine with me. If they think recovered means they could drink normally, I'd stay away from them.

As for the question what's better, the BB or the 12 & 12, I wouln't want to give either of them up. It's like asking, what's better, Lion King or Lion King 1 1/2? 1 1/2 is a spin off which gives whole new meaning to the original. I believe (and I hope I'm right) the big book came first, and the 12 & 12 is more elaborate detail of the 12 steps touched on in the BB.

Personally, I'd be leary of a group that bashes an important piece of AA material. Everyone is going to have an opinion, but to form a group that bashes the 12 & 12, I'd be very leary if I were you. I hope I've been helpful.

In my opinion you are never recovered but always in recovery (so long as you don't slip). Some people I know used to tell me they recovered from their alcoholism and now they are drinking again. Preaching isn't the way to go in AA, listening and taking what you need and leaving the rest for someone else is one of the best things I learned in my group. Another thing I learned is that if I have something to say then say it and let someone else take what they need from it. The 12 and 12 is full of great knowledge if you use it. Most of all, don't let someone tell you how to run your program. If you are successful with your recovery, then the way you run your program is right for you. Everone needs to work their own program. Listen and offer advice from your own experiences. Be true to yourself and your recovery will stay just that, recovery. I hope this helps

ktharp423, you have some great responses on here. Good advice!! But just like you i have my own opinions about the recovered, recovery part. I myself, say i am in recovery, that way I never get too over confident and stop working on myself. Everyday I like to find more wisdom to add to my recovery.
i would try and find another meeting to attend, also. you have to be comfortable in the meetings or they woont work.

I believe the directions are in the big book and for slow people like me there's the 12x12. It is a much more thorough explanation of the 12 steps. I feel I have recovered from the insanity I once lived but will forever be recovering. Like cancer and diabeties my alcoholism is in remission right now and as long as I take my medicine(dont drink,pray,go to meetings, clean house,help another alcoholic)Then I have a fighting chance of survival!

I was brought up in the program studing them both. My sponsors used the big book along with the 12 and 12. I can't remember that quote from the big book exactly so I'm not going to quote it. I do know part of it talks about a seemingly hopeless mind or something. If that is what they are talking about they are recovered from so be it. The big book also tells me that once a drunk always a drunk so in that case I am not recovered. I don't know about anyone else, but my thinking can still be stinking so I guess my mind has not recovered yet and I have been sober for awhile. Hopefully this is not the only meeting in the area and you can venture out. I don't like being preached at either. Best wishes.

Thank you for the compliment Lace. I agree, I am in recovery and plan on continuing my journey as a recovering alcoholic.

Thank you all for responding! I agree both books are important. There weren't many big book meetings where I used to live so when I moved, I wanted to go to one routinely. These group of guys who say they're recovered say that they know for sure that they will never drink again because they used the big book as a text book and had a PROFOUND spiritual experience as a result of the steps. They make you feel like if you haven't worked this hard or had a profound experience, then you're not "on their level." It's really bothersome. I started wondering if I haven't been working my program right. One guy even said the other night - "Ladies and Gentleman, I know I'm going to offend some of you but, the 'we' that they're talking about in the first step is not you and me, it's the first 100 people who got sober. I know most of you don't understand this...." I couldn't believe it, I was like "am I in second grade?" Anyway, thanks again, I'm working on getting a sponsor down here, I'm still using my old one who is an hour away.

to me.the 12&12 goes hand in hand with the big book.a person is never fully recovered.stay away from meetings,the big book and the principlesand see what will happen.I'm proof of that!

I use to go to a Step Study meeting in Chula Vista, CA where they would start with the Big Book on the Step that was being discussed, then when we were done with the BB, we would continue on thatsame step with the 12&12. Sometimes it would seem like it took forever to get through just one step but in the end we had a good understanding of the step.

I was in rehab just over 6 years and I learned 12 & 12 and the bigg book. I truly believe I am reovering and always will be. Even after 6 years the cravings are a constant whenever things are goin south. I have not been in AAin a few years. I used to do NA as well. Been a long time. Rehab and the 12 & 12 saved my life. I am always afraind I am goi0ng to slip

FIRST AND FOREMOST LET ME SAY THAT I AM A FAN OF BOTH BOOKS !

My personal experience and knowledge on this are as follows:
1: The Big Book was written by a group of people that recovered from their drinking problem. So it is the "WE" part of the program..
2: The 12 n 12 was written by one member (Bill W) to get the 12 traditions out to the groups at that time. His mentors told him that A book about the traditions would never sell. So, they asked Bill to add his personal experience with the 12 steps in to help sell the book.

THE BIG DIFFERENCE BETWEEN THE TWO IS THIS:
The Big Book give clear cut directions of "HOW" to do the steps, agreed upon by a large group of people, and the 12 n 12 shares one man's persoanl journey through the 12 steps.

My Experience with these books is that, the 12 n 12 gives me Hope that if these 12 steps could make such a HUGE change in a drunk like Bill,, then they could do the same for me.. I tried to "DO" the steps from the 12 n 12.. but alas..i got drunk after 14 months... no directions = no foundation...
When I was fortunate enough to make it back to AA, By God's grace, I was taken through the Big Books "clear cut directions" of "HOW" to do the steps and I have "recovered from a seemingly hopeless state of mind and body".

On the matter of a group of people slamming the 12 n 12 ,, i think they should look up the words "bleading deacon" and ask themselves this simple question: Do "I" really want to end up sounding like THAT?

Or, do i want to be of service and live the responsibilty pledge in all my actions?
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