(God is in quotes because it is only the term I use for lack of a better one. My higher power concept is pretty vague and I don't really have much of a description for it.)

I don't really like prayer in the traditional sense. I don't like asking for things. It is weird to me even to say things like "Please God help ___" or "Thy will be done".

I don't understand. I have come to believe that things are exactly as they should be, and that we are predestined to end up in a certain place when we pass on. I believe "God's" will is what we are doing when we are aligned with the right path and our free will allows us to either go with God's will or veer off course. I try to align my will with God's will. Not fighting to do things as a result of fear, anger, greed, etc but rather to live well and decent just feels right.

My "prayer" is awareness. It is listening. When I ask for things, it is really only to affirm my intentions and focus my awareness. I like prayer as meditation. I feel as though I get peace and guidance that way. I do believe it brings a conscious contact with my higher power. I don't necessarily have to sit and meditate - I just have to be aware and look for the presence of that power.

I have experienced and witnessed some pretty amazing things that I can't just chalk up to coincidence or chance. I think these things were happening my whole life but I was not aware - I was not willing to look.

The last couple days I think maybe I am entering a new phase of my recovery. It is baffling to me. I feel no more in control of my sobriety than I did over my drinking. Things are just happening that I can't understand. I am not sure how everything will unfold but I have some faith that it will all work out if I stay sober.