Alcoholism Support Group

Alcoholism is the continued consumption of alcoholic beverages, even when it is negatively affecting your health, work, relationships and life. If you think alcohol is causing you to lose control, it's time to seek help. Our group is a safe place to vent, check in, get back up if you fall, and reach sobriety.

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ScarletAngel 01/13/2009

I know the primary responsibility of a sponsor is to lead someone through the 12 Steps and teach them how to use them in life. Once that is done successfully (i.e. the sponsee works a good program), is it necessary to still have a sponsor? If so, how much contact is necessary to maintain that sponsor/sponsee relationship?

My sponsor is a wonderful lady who very thoroughly taught me the Steps, and thanks to her sponsorship, I have 4 /12 years sober. However, I rarely speak to her now. I use the group when I have questions or concerns about my sobriety or working the program.

I kinda feel that having a sponsor is like training wheels on a bike. My sponsor taught me how to ride the bike, but eventually I have to take off the training wheels and ride by myself. Eventually I have to take the knowledge my sponsor gave me about the Steps and be able to use them myself.

Any thoughts?

deleted_user 01/13/2009

Everyone of the oldtimers I know still talk to their sponsors, not everyday of course, but they trade war stories. A number of these old farts make it a point to re-work the steps each year. They say, "Once you finish working the steps and you think you're finished...work 'em again! 'Cause you're not ever finished...you'll always be an alcoholic."

deleted_user 01/13/2009

all you say sounds great, but we need to remember, we are never cured, those that have come before me and are still sober after many years have a sponsor, so i will always have a sponsor too! i don't question it i just do it!

deleted_user 01/13/2009

I agree i think your sponser should always be there. Not everyday but when you have trouble or questions they are who you always go to at least i do. I would think that would be a very lonely lost feeling. Call her....

m8bear 01/13/2009

My sponsor says that there will come a time when we may not learn from each other and then it is healthy to change and gain a new experience. So, why not just change sponsor?

I understand you do certain steps again with the new sponsor but....as Brian said, that could be beneficial.

deleted_user 01/13/2009

My relationship with my sponsor also ended at about 4 1/2 years, mostly because I moved to another town. By then there was little if any real sponsorship still going on and we had become friends. But even that was becoming strained as he had some deeply ingrained ethnic prejudices that I was very uncomfortable with. It was time to cut the cord, and I did.

But I'm still in almost daily contact with another sober friend (he has almost 24 years and I have 20) and mostly we just shoot the breeze and trade gossip. But we know each other's foibles well enough that we can tell just from tones of voice when either one of us is getting off the beam.

Which of us is the sponsor? Darned if I know and he doesn't even use the word.

ScarletAngel 01/13/2009

I met my sponsor at an Area Birthday meeting. I had only heard her speak a couple of times, but she had the kind of sobriety I wanted (you know, if you want what we have), so I asked her to be my sponsor.

Since I met her at an area meeting, and we don't go to any meetings in common, I very rarely see her now that I have completed my Steps with her. I still feel completely free to call her anytime I have trouble and can't figure it things out myself or with the help of others that I see regularly. We just don't have that close, day-to-day relationship I hear others have with their sponsors. It's the people I see at meetings that call me on my shit or can tell if I'm getting squirrely. But when it's time to redo my Steps especially 4 and 5, she will be the one I call.

deleted_user 01/13/2009

Basically we have to talk to people and bounce ideas off of, the great thing you can bounce them off your sponsor especially if they are things of a personal nature or something you are not comfortable with at a meeting. Other then that they take you through the steps, just to make sure you do them right.I believe you work the first 9 steps and then do 10,11,12 for life as maintaining sobriety. Also it is good just to call your sponsor just to check in, cause us alcoholic's like to isolate alot and then is when we get into big trouble. Take care. After awhile your sponsor becomes your friend, just someone you can talk to about anything.

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