Alcoholism Support Group

Alcoholism is the continued consumption of alcoholic beverages, even when it is negatively affecting your health, work, relationships and life. If you think alcohol is causing you to lose control, it's time to seek help. Our group is a safe place to vent, check in, get back up if you fall, and reach sobriety.

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Problem

wizzo01
wizzo01
I am having a serious problem with alcohol. Since I have been about 17 that is all my close friends like to do is drink. I have noticed my drinking has got seriously worse over the years, once I have one drink, i cannot stop until I am wasted and passed out. The biggest problem I have is that is all my friends like to do, is drink! I can be by myself for so long and be fine without it, I do not crave it but I get so lonely after a couple days I call a friend and 90 percent of the time they are like "well come over, I have a 12 pack!" I am unemployed right now and when I drink at night and get wasted the whole next day is wasted, I become unproductive, eat like crap and do not push myself to do the things I need to do. When I am away from it I eat right, excercise, think positively and look for jobs. I know people tell me that I am going to have to find new friends but my set of friends I have known so long they are like family. Last night my friend wanted to go out and I told myself I was not going to drink, so I met him and didnt drink for about two hours till he persuaded me to have one drink and then that was it! Once I had one and was feeling good I had about 6 more and ended up wasted. I dont think any of my friends think it is a problem, I didn't even think it was a problem for so long until recently. I have nobody to talk to about this that is why I am trying to reach out. I am a musician too and love to go record songs at my friends studio but everytime I am there he has beer and we record and drink! As a matter of fact he just texted me to tell me to come over and record and I want to but I know he is gonna want to drink too! My willpower goes out the door after about an hour when I am around it. This sucks!
nickyj18022002
nickyj18022002
Hi, really know what you are talking about with not being able to control how much I drink once I have started. I have tried a million different ways to try and do that and none of them worked. The only solution for me was to not drink at all and then I couldnt lose control. But when I tried that I found that I could never stay away from it - I would always end up having a drink for some reason or no reason, whether i wanted to or not. In the end I needed help and a whole change of attitude and outlook to be able to stay sober.

You might find a way that works for you to be able to control your drinking. You might not and will decide that not drinking at all is the way to go.

I would say two things. The first is that if you do decide to go for sobriety it will not stop you doing anything you want to in life, music or anything else. The drinking will stop you eventually though if it is not already.

Second thing, if your friends are really the true friends they say they are then they will support you in anything that you decide is best for you. True friendship is not contingent on whether someone drinks or not.

Hope this helps :)
deleted_user
deleted_user
Is there any way you can distance yourself from them for at least a month so that you can grow stronger in your sobriety and your decision to quit drinking? I know when you are recently sober it is extremely hard to go to a bar and not drink and actually kind of a miserable environment to be in newly sober. If your friends do not support your decision to not drink, sadly they are probably not people who have your best interest at heart.
wizzo01
wizzo01
Thank you for your reply, I really appreciate it. I know exactly what you mean. I tell myself everyday I am not going to drink anymore and then I get around it and I can't control myself. I am trying really hard to change my attitude and outlook. My friends will support me if I stop, it is just being around it and people who are drinking, I feel weird when everyone is drinking and seeming to have a good time and I stay sober. That is why every time I am around it after about an hour I give in, it is just so hard. I feel so much better with everything I do in my life when I am sober. Alcohol has ruined my relationships with people, I blame it for the end of a four year relationship with a girl I adored. I hate it, but I still do it! I know it is ruining and has ruined parts of my life already. I am just going to have to try really hard to do this. Thank you again for your reply.
wizzo01
wizzo01
Temple thank you for your reply. Yes I have tried to distance myself from everyone for a while. The longest I have gone was about a week and although I felt great physically and mentally, I felt so lonely and felt like I had nobody. And another big problem with me is that I am in a band and we play at bars quite often so I am always in that environment and like you said it is extremely hard to stay sober when I am in that environment. I love playing music so much it is so hard for me to just walk away from all of it.
deleted_user
deleted_user
Welcome Wizz.

Ditto to what Nicky said.

I have a friend who is a musician and is sober 25+ years and has played in a band the entire time. Funny how when he was drinking, he didn't play as well, was sloppy, and other band members were ready to kick him out.

It's doable. If you are alcoholic, it gets much worse.

Best to you.

~Chris
Community LeaderExJerseyGirl2
ExJerseyGirl2
The only way I can stop after one drink is to never have one drink. Sounds like you are in the same place that way.

You said you feel like you need to see your friends. But you can only be around people drinking for an hour or two before you give in and drink.

Can you see your friends for an hour and then leave? Or see them during the day when no one is drinking? Or find some activities that don't involve being in a bar?

Have you told them you have a problem drinking and need to totally stop at least for, say 30 or 90 days? If you haven't told them you want to stop, well, why not?

BTW -- being around people who are trashed when you are sober is not much fun. But if people are just having a few drinks, for me at least, it doesn't feel weird. I just drink soda or water and love having a clear head.

If you are just hanging out a studio and messing around, you'll probably end up drinking. If you in the studio for a recording session, then why would you want to get trashed in the first place? Same with playing in a band -- it can't help your playing.

And it's time to expand your horizons, even if you don't quit drinking. Sounds like ALL your social activities and friends revolve around alcohol...
wizzo01
wizzo01
Yes all my social activities and friends do revolve around alcohol. And I do agree with you, I have to expand my horizons. That is what is so hard for me is changing myself. I never play a show or record totally trashed, it is always getting there, playing the show or recording and then as the night progresses drinking more and more. My friends are all night people, they don't do much during the day, that is why so much of what we do revolves around drinking cause everyone calls me at night. I mean we have done stuff during the day but most of the time it is at night. I just need to stay strong and have will power and change my way of thinking. Thank you for your thoughts and ideas. I really appreciate it.
billwfriend
billwfriend
you need to put the plug in the jug and want to keep it there....you are very close to that jumping off point that the big book of AA talks about....have you ever investigated AA?? It is an idea for where to get some support for sober living.....it also will wreck your drinking enough that you will someday decide to put that plug in the jug....hugs bill

welcome and share here as anywhere how you are doing and what is going on as well as what failed because I want you as my guinee pig not me drinking again....
wizzo01
wizzo01
Yes Bill I have thought about AA but and looked at the website but have never took action to actually go. I am seriously considering going though. I am going to have a look and see when a meeting is nearby and go sit in. I did well tonight. I had band rehearsal and as soon as I walked in the door there were two twelve packs sitting there and everyone drinking and I resisted. It was hard but I didn't have a drink. I need to keep it up. Thanks for your advice.
deleted_user
deleted_user
Wizz - I'm not a huge supporter of AA myself personally, but I would have to agree with Bill in that you seek out a meeting (or several) and attend. You will find people just like you who understand and you can make new friends who enjoy sober activity. This will definitely help with the loneliness as well as get you on the path to sobriety. Just explain to your friends and as Nick said, if they are TRUE friends, they will support you and help in any way possible.
CoogeeMum
CoogeeMum
Hi wiz, I think you've mentioned many things that can help and you can follow up on them with action. If they're true mates, yes, they will support you whether it be to meet you halfway or give you some time and space to heal. I took the time out path for a while to build some foundations in sobriety. I also found AA and the members gave me Hope, friendship and understanding. Wiz, your drinking can get worse, much much worse. The good news is, you have today to make change happen and take small steps forward towards a new path. Glad to see you willing to try AA. Below is a link to some AA meetings in your area. Welcome to the group :}

http://www.simeetings.com/LA/RedondoBeachMtgs.html
deleted_user
deleted_user
Welcome to DS !!! There is a lot of support here and recommendations for you to go with.. AA helped me in the beginning for sure and since then I have managed to take it one day at a time and remain sober through the support of God, my family, Celebrate recovery AA.
Forget willpower, when left to our own devices, it can be a huge undertaking.
deleted_user
deleted_user
Keep posting:)
drafter
drafter
I know what you mean. I tried so many different ways to "control" my drinking and it just never worked. I just kept drinking more and more as time passed. Unfortunately abstinence seems to be the only effective method for controlling my drinking. Had to find a way to live though in her absence.
wizzo01
wizzo01
Thank you everybody for your support and comments. I really appreciate it. So tonight was a big test, I am a little disappointed in myself and a little proud of myself at the same time. My band played a show at a bar. I went in with the intention of not drinking at all but then the singer of my band came to me with a drink he bought for me right when we were about to play. It is my fault for not telling him I wasn't going to drink so it wasn't like he knew and was offering me a drink anyway, I didn't tell him and at the moment I accepted the drink and drank it. I only held myself to one drink though and after the show some people went back to a friends house with a bunch of beer and wanted to party more and I declined and came home. Although I am disappointed in myself for not being able to refuse one drink, at least it is a start and that is all I had. It was very tempting to go back to the friends and hang out and drink more but I was strong and went home. Thank you for the support and links to local AA meetings. I think with more support and kind words from people who are sober will help me with not even having one drink in the future. This is tough but I want to be sober really bad and I am really trying to keep at it.
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