After reading several posts on here where people absolutely beat themselves up, I realized that I am in the company of kindred souls. I was raised in an alcoholic family, strict disciplinarians, and no tolerance for gray (everything was black or white). Grew up trying to be perfect, to avoid being a target when my dad was drunk and in a mean mood. I achieved great things because of the ridiculously high expectations of my parents, but suffered along the way. The first thing I learned when I went into therapy as an adult was that I had to let go of other people's expectations of me and focus on what I wanted. Also, to recognize that we learn more from our failures than our successes. Obviously, I forgot those lessons in the recent years and I drank to escape the feelings of failing at being perfect. My reason for sharing this is to ask others who are struggling to please not beat themselves up!!! No one is perfect, it sounds easy to just quit drinking, but it's not. So if you have failed, learn from it, adjust your course, identify the problem and plan a solution! We are strong people on here and we are as perfect as we need to be! Have a great imperfect day everyone!!