Alcoholism Support Group
Alcoholism is the continued consumption of alcoholic beverages, even when it is negatively affecting your health, work, relationships and life. If you think alcohol is causing you to lose control, it's time to seek help. Our group is a safe place to vent, check in, get back up if you fall, and reach sobriety.
DISCLAIMER-These are just my thought and ideas and I am by no way trying to imply that they are right or wrong. Its simply how I see it and some of you may or may not agree. Id love to hear your thoughts.
I write about this stuff a lot because I think, anyway, that its important. I believe that you have to live in the present, but with intent, otherwise youre just like a rudderless sailboat. The paradox is that sometimes its good to be a rudderless sailboat.
Let me explain. Being present with intent requires thought, decision making and action. Those things consume a ton of energy and willpower. It gets depleted throughout the day. Thats why adequate sleep (I wish), exercise and yes some form of relaxation or non-think activities are good for you. Ill be the first to admit that I think too damned much! So Im intuitively aware that I need to shut it down for brief periods of time otherwise I just wear down.
Many, many people swear by meditation as a means to quiet the mind and get into that non-think space. Ive tried and tried and I just cant do it by the traditional methods. Thats just me but kudos to you if you can.
So I have to find other means by which to get there. So here are a few that work for ME.
Exercise- I am so NOT a gym rat kind of guy but it IS 5 degrees out in NY right now with snow on the ground so hitting a tennis ball against the wall in the park isnt happening right now. That being said, I can reach that non-think runners high while trudging along on the treadmill or stair-master. Skiing, which I really hope to do soon now that the white stuff is in my backyard, also gets me there. So exercise is good on so many fronts- Good for all around health, can quiet the mind thus preserving you willpower and decision making allotment.
Music-Listening to it, creating it, playing it-All the above also helps get me to that place.
Water- Water you say? Im kind of weirdo in that I often take what I call Bath-Showers. I start off just soaking in a hot tub for about 15-20 minutes. I have chronic neck/back pain from fused, compressed disks and whatnot. So soaking it in hot water offers some relief. I can usually grab a few moments of zen-like non-think time while doing so (Thats if Im not reading or contemplating the meaning of life). I usually do all the above in varying degrees depending on the day.
Then theres the water in the summer. Ocean, lake, river, pool, I dont care. It refreshes, invigorates and just feels darned good. While just doing a dead mans float if you will I also can get into a kind of numb mind state. Body surfing also gets me there (that exercise thing again).
So what do you guys do to get into that restful replenishing kind of space or zone? All of the aforementioned things do help me get there but not for anywhere near enough periods of time. My undiagnosed ADHD (I dont need a shrink to realize that sitting still for more than 10 seconds is an issue-LOL) probably doesnt help.
Have a great day and stay warm!
Rolf Ankermann
I write about this stuff a lot because I think, anyway, that its important. I believe that you have to live in the present, but with intent, otherwise youre just like a rudderless sailboat. The paradox is that sometimes its good to be a rudderless sailboat.
Let me explain. Being present with intent requires thought, decision making and action. Those things consume a ton of energy and willpower. It gets depleted throughout the day. Thats why adequate sleep (I wish), exercise and yes some form of relaxation or non-think activities are good for you. Ill be the first to admit that I think too damned much! So Im intuitively aware that I need to shut it down for brief periods of time otherwise I just wear down.
Many, many people swear by meditation as a means to quiet the mind and get into that non-think space. Ive tried and tried and I just cant do it by the traditional methods. Thats just me but kudos to you if you can.
So I have to find other means by which to get there. So here are a few that work for ME.
Exercise- I am so NOT a gym rat kind of guy but it IS 5 degrees out in NY right now with snow on the ground so hitting a tennis ball against the wall in the park isnt happening right now. That being said, I can reach that non-think runners high while trudging along on the treadmill or stair-master. Skiing, which I really hope to do soon now that the white stuff is in my backyard, also gets me there. So exercise is good on so many fronts- Good for all around health, can quiet the mind thus preserving you willpower and decision making allotment.
Music-Listening to it, creating it, playing it-All the above also helps get me to that place.
Water- Water you say? Im kind of weirdo in that I often take what I call Bath-Showers. I start off just soaking in a hot tub for about 15-20 minutes. I have chronic neck/back pain from fused, compressed disks and whatnot. So soaking it in hot water offers some relief. I can usually grab a few moments of zen-like non-think time while doing so (Thats if Im not reading or contemplating the meaning of life). I usually do all the above in varying degrees depending on the day.
Then theres the water in the summer. Ocean, lake, river, pool, I dont care. It refreshes, invigorates and just feels darned good. While just doing a dead mans float if you will I also can get into a kind of numb mind state. Body surfing also gets me there (that exercise thing again).
So what do you guys do to get into that restful replenishing kind of space or zone? All of the aforementioned things do help me get there but not for anywhere near enough periods of time. My undiagnosed ADHD (I dont need a shrink to realize that sitting still for more than 10 seconds is an issue-LOL) probably doesnt help.
Have a great day and stay warm!
Rolf Ankermann
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Dick Van Dyke’s path to sobriety was a turning point in his life and career. Here’s what happened:How He Got SoberStruggles and Realization: Van Dyke began drinking as a teenager, largely to cope with shyness and social anxiety. Alcohol made him feel more comfortable in social settings, but over time, his drinking spiraled out of control. By his mid-40s, he recognized that he had an addictive...
Living in today requires very little wasteful energy for me because I do my best to leave the things that I cannot control to a God of my understanding. I am not a very religious person and do not pray much but I do take spirituality very seriously. By that I mean that I try to live a spiritual life and not just mutter a few words of prayer, although prayer is always a powerful tool. I tried meditation techniques many years ago and all I got was sore joints from those funny yoga positions. Today, I know that meditation is a lot simpler and can be done anywhere it is simply the act of listening.
I have also come to realize after many wasteful years that this life is not a trial run. I will have only one chance on this earth and I am determined to make the most of it. Living life sometimes means sticking my neck out and risking making a fool of myself but that is ok. Late last year I decided to learn to read music and play an instrument. I was by no means sure that I could do it and risked being laughed at but I did it anyway. Today, as I practice playing the few pieces of music that I have learned so far, there are probably still some people laughing at my efforts but I could not care less.
I find it difficult to exercise just for the sake of exercising. Through the summer I engage in a physically demanding activity that is great exercise and I have something of value to show for it at the end of the season. It is more difficult to get the motivation to exercise at this time of year but I have recently cut up a large load of trees and will now start to split them for firewood. Christmas has been a time of overindulgence in rich foods so some walking or work on the treadmill may also be required.
I had trouble with my computer before Christmas and had to reinstall the operating system. The hard disk was getting full, with a lot of rubbish stored there that I had not looked at for years or had any use for. When I stopped drinking, my mind was similar to that cluttered hard drive it was full of useless thinking, including anger, fear, resentment and thoughts of revenge. I thought that life was unfair because I could no longer drink and I blamed a lot of other people for making me unhappy. I know that Alcoholics Anonymous is not for everyone but for me, going to AA was a bit like clearing up the computer hard drive. I discarded the clutter in both cases and left room for more useful stuff.
The rudderless sailboat can be allowed to drift with the tide for a while but it does not have to hit the rocks. The Serenity Prayer sums it up.
Helping others gets me out of my problems and offers me some moments of zen
As an alcoholic I tend to totally focus on me and when I , just for a moment focus on someone else, I find life better
LIke you, meditation is hard for me. Its hard to just sit and be. Very hard. Not sure why as it should be easy right? I mean sit, do nothing. Repeat.
Anyway, I find comfort and "zone" when I run. I find it when I ride horses. In fact I find it just being around horses, getting them ready, tacking up, down, etc. I find it in other exercise too like yoga, weights, spin class.
I've also found it in AA meetings, in listening to others talk about their journey.
In other words as Paul O. said in his story Doctor, Alcoholic, Addict, AA textbook 3rd & 4th Editions. My serenity is directly proportional to my level of acceptance.
Ask not that events should happen as you will; but let your will be that events should happen as they will then you shall know peace Epictetus (circa 70 AD)
Meditation is an ambiguous term. There seems to be as many opinions re: meditation as there are those that meditate. Ive studied meditation for at least 50 years and I have concluded that when I say Im meditating, Im meditating.
I fly fish and tie trout flies for relaxation.
I also chainsaw / fall trees for firewood and chop wood. I heat my home with wood.
I have a busy mind and I understand it's essential to quiet my thoughts and be open to what happens through that regularly, so learning to do that demanded some self discipline at first. Five minutes could feel like five hours. Seeking a spiritual path I have grown to love meditation over time but it did take time! Like you, I love water. I find swimming very relaxing and my meditation is at it's best when I am mindfully enjoying something that I can do with ease.
I have a lot of willpower. The trouble was pre sobriety I was using it in a destructive way but in sobriety I try to use it the best way I can in a constructive way. I'm slowly improving and I have battled with "slow" because I was reliant on the quick fix that alcohol seemed to give me before it stopped "working."
Music, reading, poetry, creating something, art, enjoying my pets and enjoying the company of friends are all good for the soul.
I just did not have a clue how to live well before I found sobriety, I did not appreciate my gift of life. It took the help of other alcoholics to see that because they had that experience themselves.
Thanks for the topic, I enjoyed reading what you had to say and the great responses you have had.
My footy brings me a lot of joy. The ritual of planning the trips, flights and getting to the MCG in Melbourne then the moment I sit in my seat 30min before the team runs out. That 30mins is such a happy one for me. My other passion is martial arts and when I'm practicing, there's absolutely nothing else going on in the world. I'm out of action from that at the moment so exercising my Spectatorship with a Summer of fantastic cricket and tennis. A little bit of planning today is to go down the beach for ice-cream this arvo. The next part of that is to do it.
I also do a lot of walking on trails in woods -- pretty much every day. I have a big dog who needs exercise. I find that walking (and bike riding in the summer) helps me clear my head and stay centered.
I am a trained hypnotist and practice meditation and self hypnosis as well, though not as often as I should.
Seriously, the thing that takes me out of myself is football (That's soccer to you. I go and watch my team and the day to day stress falls away and is replaced by the stress of watching the game, but it's an ok kind of stress. We went to a game yesterday against our bitterest rivals! I was a bit cold when I got there but I got so engrossed in the game, I didn't feel cold again until I got out of the car to get dinner for us. We won and won well, the game was fantastic and I got to gloat over my sister who supports the other team.
I don't have problems with the action of meditating, the problem I have is being aware enough to do it, I just forget. So many people think that they cannot meditate because they keep getting thoughts come into their mind, but this is what meditation is all about. Even the Dalai Lama has intrusive thought when he is meditating. There is no perfection in this!
When I am not studying I like to read and lose myself in a plot helps me to chill too.
The most regular thing I do is to quiz. I quiz twice a week although we have had a Christmas break from both so it will be good to get back. we do a general knowledge one and a music one, both are in pubs and I wouldn't have done that when I was newly sober, but these days we really love it because we meet up with our friends at the same time.
I love what sobriety has given me!
I love going for walks outdoors as a means not only for exercise, but for relieving stress and temporarily escaping everything. I love baking as it makes my feel like I am accomplishing something, and have control in my little space of the world which is my kitchen. So many things to do, now that I'm not sitting around with a beer in my hand! Whoda thunk?
I think you have a great handle on it.
I think the whole "quieting" of the mind "meditatating" "mindfullness" or however you want to term it is useful for the newly "recovered" individual because it could help to do what the damn booze or drugs weren't doing anymore. Namely, quiet the hampster wheel brain that is overly self absorbed and involved. Like I said, doesn't really work for me so I keep my mind in happier and less "me, me, me" places by almost doing the opposite and being so busy that I don't have time to think about my internal pain and suffering.
The other good thing about going either route is that it negates the negative influences of dwelling on the past or stressing or being anxiety ridden about the future. Both huge contributors, IMHO, to people who are having dependency issues.