I did not read the book, but from what you wrote I can say it wasn't the reasons that I drank. I drank to escape reality, or as you put my worries.) I wonder if others drank for the other reasons.

I used insight (mindful) meditation to face my worries. It worked for me. I have not returned to drinking.

My answer to your question about the book -- what I remember about what he was saying is that it is an illusion that inebriation makes life better. It doesn't and we end up living in a fog.

I read the book years ago and found it very helpful. My advice to you is that if you read the book and it did not work for you, then let it go and find a different path to sobriety. I don't think that debating what he says will help it click in place for you.

I drank because it made me feel good. It also numbed me to the pain I felt in my life at the time. I was shy and it helped me to loosen up around others. I felt prettier, funnier and smarter. I felt like I finally fit in. It wasn't an illusion for me. It felt real to me.

For me I felt like I had found the magic elixir of life. I don't know if I was conscious of anything other than I finally had found something that made my life easier. After that I believe that I was always chasing that feeling of euphoria I felt when I first began drinking.

The worst part was when I realized I was addicted to it but didn't want to be. it took many years before I found an answer. It was no longer enjoyable-it became necessary so I didn't feel like crap. Funny thing is, I felt like crap anyway. I chose it in the beginning and then I didn't feel like I had a choice anymore. I had tried to stop many times and could not so in my case I believe that my body was addicted to it. I lived like that for 23 years.

No amount of willpower worked for me. Later in my early 30s I found out that my bio parents were both alcoholics so nothing was a mystery for me after that. In my case it was definitely in my genes. I was raised by adoptive parents who didn't drink, none of their friends or family drank either so I guess I know the apple didn't fall far from the tree. I found a nutritional program that helped me to slowly decrease the amount I was drinking and then I was able to stop. (see my other post if you are interested in that method).

There was no magical moment or epiphany. I was sick and I needed to get better and I found the program that healed me. I cannot speak for anybody else but for me I got results I could live with. I haven't been tempted to go back to it. Not once. There was never any white knuckling.

I have been sober 10 years and can be around others who drink. My husband drinks at home with dinner and socially. We have alcohol in our home at all times and I just don't want or need it anymore.

My nutritional program isn't perfect and it is a work in progress. But at this point in time I have made enough changes in my 3 daily meals so that I am living a much happier life.

My thinking wasn't my problem, my body's love of alcohol was the problem. Once I realized that I was able to solve my problem in a very logical way I was able to take the right steps to get well. Hope this helps you in some way. This was my experience and what worked for me.

Laura

Sorry, I forgot to mention that I haven't read the book so I am sorry I can't comment on that.

A main point of the book is how to quit without will power.

Welcome. So you asked how I "solved it." I didnt. What I did finally was stop analyzing, stop looking for the way I'd be able to drink socially, stop trying to be different. I finally got sick enough of being sick to admit I'm not different. I'm a garden variety drunk. I picked up the bottom and hit myself in the head with it and went to AA. Thankfully the good people here told me to do that and after about 2 years of relapsing, I did. Slow learner.
I havent had a drink since. I let go, I let the program, I took the advice and took the actions but I didnt do it. God and AA did and I've been letting them for a little over three years a day at a time.

I haven't read the book but I would say that maybe it doesn't matter what other people's opinions on it are, it is about whether it works for you.

I assume that the aim is to stop drinking. Is the book going to enable you to do that? I am assuming it makes suggestions on how to stop and stay stopped? Maybe the thing to do is to follow the suggestions and see if it works. If so great, if not you can try something else.

I have learnt a lot in my recovery and one of the things is that action rather than just thinking or talking seems to be essential for me.

Sorry I can't be of more help on the specifics of the book and your questions but it would be wrong of me to comment on something I know so little about :)

I also have not read the book, but I didn't drink to simply escape my worries. In fact, when I drank I worried A LOT. I was usually sobbing uncontrollably at my computer desk while listening to sad music and hating myself who I perceived to be a total failure in life. Even during my fun drinking days I would snap in a second and go from happy happy fun fun, to being enraged or just below low. Horrific mood swings!

Bottom line, I drank because I liked to get drunk. As in spinning around the room wasted! It's as simple as that because I sure as hell didn't like the taste. That's why I only did shots quickly followed by a chaser.

My dear folks:
Thank you for your replays.
A lot of things to digest so far from your replies. If you did not read the book, please do, and as the author said, sober and with open heart. My advice is that it WILL cut many corners in why the hell do we drink.
Worriormama, please forget about you being doomed as heritage. You are not! Please get the book and read it.
I can tell you that research is saying that genetics play a role in alcoholism BUT, it is still just research. It is not you. Get the book and read it. At least it will not hurt.
Thank you all.

I;m with Puck this! Oh and the illusion I found with the depressant Alcohol was the chemical change produced and the loss of inhibitions conveniently blotted out by the conditioning of the societies standards I was raised in. Message in a bottle has worked for me both Drunk and sober.... like Nicki impermena implied, heed the message you take out of your own re birth in recovering your own genuine self.

I heard Ram Dass talk in 1987 in West Palm Beach and his words on Alcoholism struck me like a ton of bricks...Alcoholism or substances that are mood our mind altering aren;t who I amm so dont short change the recovery ride by making any one thing any more than a piece to a very large puzzle intended in this life for me to find my highest good!

Thank goodnesss my antennae;s (ears) were fine tuned to pick out a higher level of discord going on in my insides that needed answers:)) Follow your own Bliss Yipppeeee .. Reallly!!!!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MCpRrwF7whg

my husband used his quit smoking book to quit after over 45 years of heavy smoking. chantix, patches, etc. did not help.
I like the explanation he had about worrying about where the next smoke (or drink) would come from vs. the physical part of the addiction.
I learned a different way of looking at things (I read it first)...and I would think it would be a tool. one of many to build what we need to stay stopped.

Well I've been without alcohol now for over 5 years...I read a book ince that made me stop and think about why I drank. Lots of light bulbe moments but ultumately I didnt help me stop just made me realise that I was kidding myself and needed a little more help:

http://www.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/0312254288

There were lots of reasons to drink but ultimately it wasnt as rational as I thought it was...I would drink because I felt stressed or lonely or anxious but booze had become the problem rather than the cure.

Like the quote I heard last night:
"Boy - When did you start smoking?

Girl - I smoke every once and a while. Helps relieve tension.


Boy - When did you get so tense?

Girl - When I started smoking."

:)

While the mood of the room can effect the high and there is undoubtedly a certain placebo effect , especially among inexperienced drinkers. Alcohol, intoxication and alcoholism are very real. For example the decreased mental acuity and reaction time of a drunk driver is stone cold real. Blackouts are real. Even the effect we seek is real, if transient. Recovery is real too.
I chased why for a long time. However, why I drank like I drank is meaningless to my daily recovery. I did drink like I drank because I could drink no other way and that's all I really need to know