I too am taking one day at a time and TRYING to live in the moment, SOBER!!! Me personally, if I were to gain 20lbs, that would be more than enough motivation for me to quit hitting the bottle. You know alcohol is all EMPTY calories and sugar. (google the calories of your drink of choice).
Even though I have relapsed, over all I am doing GREAT, and when I quit drinking, I lost 10 pounds.
If u believe your an alcohol abuser, if u know u are self medicating, than more than likely, U ARE!!! U said that you have friends that have decided not to drink, why don't you at least try to chill with them...

One day at a time is all we can do. I am an alcoholic and an addict no doubt. I cannot drink safely. My entire life falls apart. I have discovered that although I am sober, I am more insane and screwed up than I ever realized. I need to continue working on my sobriety while trying to work on a number of emotional problems. If you don't want to drink, then don't drink. Everyone's different but for me support is crucial as is constantly reminding myself that drinking will destroy me and I am utterly powerless. Go to a meeting or the gym. I agree, hanging out with sober friends or those who just "don't" drink would be wise. If you discover it's harder to stop than just choosing not to then step it up. Support is key so keep reaching out. All the best

Hello iacceptme,

It may well be that your trial period of not drinking and filling your time with other activities will be a successful solution to your problem and I hope that is the case. However, it could also be that where alcohol is concerned you are different in mind and body to your friends who have decided not to drink and that what works for them will not necessarily be enough for you. The only way you will know is to try out your plan for a period of time and to then evaluate how it has been working.

If you find that you continue to drink despite deciding that you want to be sober then you are probably dealing with alcoholism. If that is the case you cannot drink safely at all and one drink will set off a strong craving for more. Having alcohol in your system will also have become an obsession of the mind and your willpower may not be strong enough to carry you through. If that turns out to be the case you would be wise to look for outside help.

Thanks to all for taking the time to respond. I appreciate the ideas and concerns as well. It's really important for me to chose a different path - on so many fronts. I'm not ashamed to seek help either - will do my best to keep this group posted.

So you were abstinent. how did you do it?
I know personally drinking was a nightly thing for me too. I'd stop then start again. Weight gain wasnt an issue but health, demoralization, doing stupid things, checking out on my young children, putting them at risk driving, putting them at risk passing OUT etc. etc. I had the best reasons in the world --- as far as I'm concerned to NOT drink no matter what. But drinking was my solution.
I needed another solution not a temporary fix. That's been AA and the program for me.
I havent had to pick up that first drink, a day at a time for a while now.
It will work for you too but you need to want it. Not just to lose weight but to live the life you deserve.

There is self medicating as an escape from life, and then there is self medicating because of an underlying no fault mental condition. If it is the later working with a therapist as you are is all the more critical.

As has been said hanging with your sober friends and/or making new ones is a good idea. Diet, exercise, and proper sleep can help with cravings.

Some level of craving might occur because the brain's of those of us who suffer from alcohol use disorder have been wired by our behavior to default to booze. You might want to google "urge surfing" as I and some people find it effective for cravings.

Thanks for the great additional comments, advice and observations.

In terms of what worked for me in the past it was a combination of things. Exercise, reading and going to certain AA meetings were helpful. Having something to fill the post 6pm timeframe helped too. I would be remiss to not also mention prayer.

I had two dear friends - one in his 70's who was sober for 40 years. We met weekly and unfortunately, he died last year from Parkinsons. Another friend was my long time massage therapist - she was a very spiritual person and we had long talks while I was driving about turning toward the light (vs where alcohol can take you). She passed after a 3 year battle with cancer.

My alive "friends" include people of various ages younger and older. During my abstinent periods, I would simply say, I'm not drinking. I might get a little bit of "oh come on, can I buy you a drink?". I'd say "sure, club soda and lime please".

Tomorrow's another day. I'll be entering it sober. Off to bed

Hi,
I'm hopeful things change for you on the employment front. I know it's tough out there and can relate. Without money and the feeling of self worth, times are different. On this board people focus on the aspect of AA and such. Being unemployed sucks - what step covers that?

I