you should be on the fastest bus you can find outta there...if this is a relationship...drunks do not know how to play well with others...and lie like a sack of shit to anyone close to hide their drinking and insecurity....so get on the bus...try alanon too if your thinking of hanging out with any drunks...

Vicky. Denial is a huge part of this disease.The truth is he cant stop drinking if hes an alcoholic. He might put the bottle down for awhile but he will drink again. If he doesnt do something like AA and he doesnt seek professional help. The hills might not be a bad place to run to
Greg

Hello missvicki43,

I think what this guy is telling you is that he has a lot more drinking to do and a lot more misery to endure before he accepts the reality of his drinking. What you have to decide is do you want to share that misery.

I went to work every day and didnt miss a day sick in over ten years and I managed to do other things as well, but much as I would have liked to keep denying it, I know that I am an alcoholic. Many alcoholics can quit drinking for short or for longer periods of time but you can be sure that unless they address the problem, they will drink again.

When an alcoholic decides for one reason or another that the situation is serious and that he needs to quit drinking he will usually draw on all of his resources of willpower and determination. His promises not to drink again will almost always be completely genuine and his desire not to drink will be great. The trouble is that he suffers from what has been described as a mental obsession for alcohol. Eventually, be it after one day or many months, something will happen that will trigger that obsession again. His mind will remember the good feelings that he got before when he took a few drinks. A second part of the problem is that all of the bad things that happened when he drank get blanked out and the result is that his thinking leaves him defenceless against taking that first drink.

Once a drink is taken, a process occurs in the body that leads to a strong physical craving for more alcohol. The mind tells him to take another drink in order to satisfy the craving and the other drink increases the craving still further. This is why an alcoholic can drink all day and all night and still want just one more.

Eventually, he will be sick enough to stop drinking - his willpower will kick in again and he will stop for another period of time. Then the same sequence will be repeated over and over. The amount that he drinks will increase and the time that he is sober will become shorter.

Your guy possible has not gone past that point of no return yet and if that is the case he may well be able to stop and stay stopped on his own willpower. However, it looks to me as if he has crossed the line into alcoholism. His excuses for stopping for a while and then drinking again are very familiar to me, as I made plenty of similar excuses. The trouble is I genuinely believed my own bullshit and he is probably the same.

For someone whose drinking has gone that far, it can be somewhere between difficult to impossible to stop it alone. It usually takes some sort of support such as he would find at AA or some suitable alternative. I dont think that his drinking is finished yet so it could be quite a while before he decides that he cant handle alcohol.

My suggestion to you is to educate yourself about the disease of alcoholism and then you can make a decision about your future. You can get the Big Book (Alcoholics Anonymous) from AA or you can read it for free online. Read through it a couple of times and you will be better advised.

When someone stops drinking on their own, are there some kind of emotional with drawls they go through? My friend went on the wagon as he calls it, and hasn't contacted me since he did, It's only been 5 days but I was just wondering if they isolate themselves for this reason. I haven't reached out to him as I wanted to give him his space.

Thanks for your replies as well :-)

Hello missvicki43,

Every person is different and you cant really generalise. The Big Book (Alcoholics Anonymous) describes the alcoholic who has stopped drinking and who has no support as being restless, irritable and discontented and this condition can last for many years unless appropriate action is taken. Such people are sometimes referred to as dry drunks but whether that term is fitting or not is a matter of opinion.

Your friend may well have isolated himself or he may be still drinking. Whatever his situation may be, he is likely to drink again and drink a lot more, unless he comes to realize that he cannot drink safely and do something about it.