I think most of not all of us understand. Alcoholics have endured shame and embarrassment time after time and we keep doing the same thing expecting the first outcome.

I’m not sure if you’re trying to taper down or quit.
For me, I had an obsession much like you’ve describe and it too. AA to remove it.

AA isn’t the only way, but it was an easy way for me to take a look at who I was and how I could Improve myself.

I’m 6 years sober and I am grateful that I don’t have to hate myself anymore.

Welcome.

Congratulations on your sobriety.

I want nothing more than to stop drinking. In fact, every morning I ‘quit’ drinking- I’m sure you understand that as well.

I have been to AA and it just is not for me, but maybe I should give it another try. I live in a small town and we just do not have many options here.

Thank you for your post. It is nice to connect with someone that understands.

My heart goes out to you Munkie...I have drank alcohol for years using it like a medication to cover up sorrow and depression...I have had a health scare...my liver enzymes were so high, on the verge of diabetes and my kidneys not working properly...I came home from doctor determined not to have another drop...It has now been 2 weeks and I pray to God I don`t start again. I just hope I haven`t damaged my liver to the point of chirrohsis...the doctor said if it hasn`t turned to chirrohsis...he promises my liver will regenerate without alcohol. I didn`t seem to have any serious withdrawal except on and off thinking it sure would be nice to have 1 drink but so far stuck with it. I really do feel quite a bit better already. I don`t want to go to AA either...my doctor has been real supportive which really helps.

Thank you for sharing and for the support. I am so sorry to hear about your health issues, and will be sending positivity out for you.

It is scary to think about what alcohol can do to our bodies, but that still hasn’t been enough to make me stop. You hit the nail on the head when you say using alcohol like medication. I have been doing that for over 20 years.

I hope everything goes well for you. Congratulations on your sobriety- keep making the choice not to drink.

AA isn’t the answer for everyone. I didn’t think it was for me either. I took 9 months of going 4-5 weeks to get hit over the head with the program and the fellowship. Now those are the dearest people in my life.


Keep posting.

AA saved my life and relieved me from the obsession of alcohol. I do believe AA is for anyone with an open mind who is desperate to to quit drinking. I don't have any other suggestions for any alcoholic wishing to get sober.

In my experience with AA, Christianity was really pushed. Since I am not Christian, I felt very uncomfortable. That said, I am not opposed to trying again. Perhaps a group outside of the town I live in.

I don’t believe. Substitute apple for god. It doesn’t matter. You just need to believe that you aren’t your own answer.

Just go back to AA and give up on what your mind obsesses over. Maybe you had to go to AA to be around Christians to help those Christians understand that being Christian might be a calling to include others too?

You just need to believe in something you would not identify as your ego. That's the way it was put to me way back 12 years ago when I first began going to meetings. Anything or anyone external from yourself. It does not matter.

It was myself that was a part of my problem so I definitely couldn't allow myself to be a part of the solution...All of my previous attempts had failed. Placing my trust in a Power greater then myself, completely turned my life around for the better! I had money coming from places I never expected, I got a new job I really liked, and my relationships improved. I thought my wife was going to divorce me at that time but she changed her mind at the last minute. I heard similar stories at AA meetings and that was what made me believe in the AA 12 Promises. Here they are:

The AA Promises
1. If we are painstaking about this phase of our development, we will be amazed
before we are half way through.
2. We are going to know a new freedom and a new happiness.
3. We will not regret the past nor wish to shut the door on it.
4. We will comprehend the word serenity and we will know peace.
5. No matter how far down the scale we have gone, we will see how our experience
can benefit others.
6. That feeling of uselessness and self-pity will disappear.
7. We will lose interest in selfish things and gain interest in our fellows.
8. Self-seeking will slip away.
9. Our whole attitude and outlook upon life will change.
10. Fear of people and of economic insecurity will leave us.
11. We will intuitively know how to handle situations which used to baffle us.
12. We will suddenly realize that our higher power is doing for us what we could not do for
ourselves
Are these extravagant promises? We think not. They are being fulfilled among us -
sometimes quickly, sometimes slowly. They will always materialize if we work for them.

I’m lazy
Booze made me feel better with little effort,
Problem was it IS A DRUG and I became addicted

I couldn’t quit on my own I tried a million mornings

One day I joined this forum, then one day June 9,2012 I decided I needed help and went to another alcoholic and asked for help, that was the watershed moment, because I was so strong willed that I never needed anyone for anything. ( also why booze worked so well )

If you want to change and become sober you need to find a replacement. For me it was AA

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Thank you all for the words of wisdom and the support. I have been doing this too long and have to do what it takes. If AA is the answer, then I accept that. I will give it another try and focus on positivity and belief that AA can help me.

Munkie, that's great to hear and when you do, please come back and tell us about your experience. It will help others who are looking for a path to recovery! Even if you change your mind, keep in touch. Many people read these but are afraid to reply, but you have the courage to talk about it and that's a huge step!

God Bless

A Note : Alcohol IS a drug, and it’s also a depressant.

Magically when I stopped drinking a lot of my depression and anxiety went away. Also and more importantly I stopped doing things I regretted and so stoped the cycle of needing to medicate. Sure I still have some anxiety, I suggest a good doctor to talk it out with and I needed some other counseling. Main thing is today I know that alcohol will do no good for me today

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Munkee,

Any updates?