Alcoholism Support Group
Alcoholism is the continued consumption of alcoholic beverages, even when it is negatively affecting your health, work, relationships and life. If you think alcohol is causing you to lose control, it's time to seek help. Our group is a safe place to vent, check in, get back up if you fall, and reach sobriety.
While I've enjoyed sobriety for a while now, I occasionally think back to the decades of drinking I did, knowing that I had a problem but unable to stop. My abuse began in my teens and continued until I finally committed to sobriety and recovery in my late 50's. That was 3 years and 4 months ago. Along the way, my addiction contributed to the failure of two marriages, a relationship with my daughter, and others who wanted to love me. I chose alcohol as a refuge over their affection. I used to joke that Stoli was my Russian mistress, but unfortunately this was truer than I realized.
I'm a slow learner. I'm the kind who has to put their hand on the flaming burner several times to realize it's hot. Feel the fingers sizzle, smell the burning flesh. I must have relapsed hundreds of times waking up in my own vomit, next to someone I didn't know, my head spinning, regretting the hangover and shame, but apparently not enough to do something about it.
It wasn't until a few years ago when I'm sitting on a worn out sofa after snorting a line of coke at 5:30 a.m. in this shithole of a flop house full of stoned twenty year-olds that I had to admit to myself: dude, this is not so going well.
So I drug my ass back here to DS and to the same AA meeting I'd gone to in years past, saw and chatted with people I recognized who didn't ask how I was or where I had been. Because they knew.
And I started one more time. But this time was different from the past. I started to really work the recovery program, surrender my arrogance for humility and confronted my weaknesses and vulnerabilities. Was it because I was truly broken and humbled enough to listen this time? Probably. Perhaps the slow learner finally wised up.
You've heard the adage that you never really fail until you stop trying, and this has been a perfect description of my recovery. Failing and losing more than I care to admit, but for some reason I never quit hoping.
I know we all have our own story, each is different, filled with our own chapters on failures and shame. But we all share hope. If you're struggling today, I pray you find hope, regardless of your situation.
I'm on the other side of it I'm the forever fiance of 21 years who has watched him go to jail several times because of drunk driving charges and probation violations.
Somehow I stuck it out with him but for the last 8 months he's been disappearing every weekend for 2 or 3 days sometimes 2 weeks I don't know if he's cheating or not of course he says he's not so we're losing everything practically and I'm barely treading water.
I asked myself time and time again why do I put up with him why don't I stop loving him and I can't answer that question so I just didn't cry.
I need back surgery and knee surgery and he couldn't even show up to take me the day I was supposed to get my back fixed he was off on one of his drunks.
It's my birthday today the sucker actually text me this morning and said happy birthday but he won't come home and he won't take me out.
When I took him shopping the other day he said he was trying to find something special that he wanted to get me but he got nothing.
but hey I got a sparkly flashing happy birthday emoji on my phone isn't that special?
I don't leave the house when he leaves because I'm afraid he'll come home and then leave cuz I'm not here and that's really stupid.
if I leave him too many text messages he changes his number for a day or two and then if I'm good he changes to a new number and tells me isn't that gross it's so disgusting he's like this.
I want to hate him but I remember the nice times I remember the compassionate special times and how he took care of my dad before my dad died and was so loving and helpful with him.
Why can't he be like that all the time why does alcohol win every time?
I could go with him but I suppose that's no fun because after he's had six or eight beers he starts getting nasty so I hound him before he gets to the six because he gets mean!
I wish he could be like you and finally get what he needs to sober up and wants to.
He did call his VA clinic last week he's extremely depressed he drinks too much and he's a bipolar.
as usual the VA is all booked up for 3 weeks didn't matter his suicidal they couldn't see him you could be dead before the VA sees you and then they got to stick a freaking cold in 19 stick up his nose every time he goes in and it's not the problem.
He called them a while ago because he has a polyp or some side of growth in his butt they want wouldn't see him unless he had a cold test and he said it's not in my nose that's the problem it's my ass and you're not sticking a stick up there so they wouldn't take him he had to go to the urgent Care and then he has to pay for that.
when he finally admitted he's in desperate need of help the VA failed him but he has an appointment in two and a half weeks he could be dead by then.
Congratulations and finally getting your act together I'm sure you're happy with that too I wish mine could get so smart
he certainly won't listen to me but he I don't tell him I'm on these sites he thinks I'm going to meet some man on here meanwhile he's been cheating on me
My advice to you is to stop trying to fix him and his alcoholism and start fixing yourself. IMHO, you suffer from the addiction of co-dependency. Instead of urging him to attend AA or go to rehab, please consider attending Al-Anon or CODA meetings.
You cannot change him, but you can change yourself. I hope you do.
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Please stay in touch and let us know how you’re doing.
It is a beautiful reminder for me personally to meditate, talk to my Higher Power more regularly, attend meetings, read, do the work needed, and to keep reaching out to you all, sometimes life can try to make us veer off the right path, and today you have got me back on the path full steam ahead.............thankyou
Yesterday was 35 months for me. Happy to be 5 months behind
I thank God for the gift of desperation and for people like you who helped teach me how to accept the gift of sobriety.